Cold water
is scary. Really cold water with ice
on top is extra scary.
Once you’ve
fallen through the ice, and the water has you in its grip, it quickly robs you
of your ability to fight. In a few short minutes, it makes you clumsy and slow
and sleepy and disorientated, until you can’t even try to save yourself. It’s a
predator that makes you calmly accept your death.
For as long
as I could remember, one of my top fears—a
break-out-in-a-cold-sweat-even-thinking-about-it fears—was getting trapped
under the ice. The idea of pounding on an unbreakable frozen layer while not
being able to breathe… That’s the stuff of nightmares.
So why,
exactly, was I standing on a frozen reservoir, just feet from a hole cut in the
ice, preparing to jump into thirty-two-and-a-half-degree water?
Sadly, I
have a tendency to believe people when they say, “C’mon! This’ll be fun!” I’ve
gotten suckered into countless chores (“Let’s all spring-clean the boarding
stable. It’ll be fun! It won’t be an all-day hell of grime and drudgery.”),
activities I should have avoided for my own safety (“Let’s leave the main,
well-marked path and go on this narrow, rutted trail to nowhere. You won’t flip
your ATV and escape injury only by flinging yourself off in an emergency dismount
learned from riding horses. It’ll be fun!”), and hours of discomfort (“Want to
volunteer to help with SWAT training? It’ll be fun! You’ll get stuck crouching
in a dirty back bedroom surrounded by dead Asian beetles and rat traps because
it’s the only spot in the house with enough cell reception to allow you to text
with the negotiator.”) (Okay, oddly enough, that one really was fun).
I believe
this is part of the reason I was at the reservoir with the dive team, shivering
with nerves, dressed in a very unflattering dry suit (no, I do not have
pictures. Did I mention the “very unflattering” part? All photographic evidence
has been deleted and/or burned), about to face my lifelong fear. Someone had
mentioned the phrase that is my kryptonite: “C’mon! It’ll be fun!”
“Everyone in
the water!” the chief bellowed.
So I jumped.
Want to read a story about ice rescue divers?
HOLD YOUR BREATH (Rocky Mountain Search & Rescue Book #1)
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