'Twas the Night Before Christmas

Thanksgiving is over. Mr. T. Thomas Turkey can come on out of hiding. He's safe for another year around our part of the world because we don't do the big Christmas dinner at our house. We do have a couple of traditions on Thanksgiving. We like for Husband/Mr. B/Daddy/Poppa to get out the guitar and everyone who wants to, whether they can carry a tune or not, sings. The rest of us two step up and down the hallway.

And then all of the titles above reads us his special Christmas poem, Jake's Night Before Christmas. To formally kick off the Christmas season I thought I'd share it with you this weekend. He wrote it years ago for our kids when they were small but no matter the age, the whole family loves it. So without further ado here is the Brown Christmas poem. 

JAKE'S NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

by Charles Brown

“Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring
“Cept a flea and a louse!
The family were all sleeping
In rooms overhead

While Father snored loud ‘nough
To wake up the dead,
And Mother lay sleeping,
A smile on her face,
In sweet dreams of diamonds
And satin and lace.
The children were all stacked
In their beds like sardines—
‘Cause this wasn’t exactly
A “family of means,”
And three double beds were
All they could afford

To accommodate company

And their own mongrel horde—

There was Sandy and Sally

And Rhonda and Sue,

There was Betty and Billy

And Otis and Blue,

(Now you may think that Blue’s

A strange name for a kid,

But it fit that line better

Than Bosephus did!)

And four or five others

Whose names I’ve forgot,

(And so have their parents

As likely as not!

But they had heard somewhere

Kids came cheaper in dozens),

And there were also and uncle,

An aunt and a handful of cousins.

An old hound was sleeping

Downstairs by the fire

With his old tail just inches

From a bare Christmas tree wire.

That old mutt would snore

And then he’d roll over

(Now I’d use his name here

If his name had been Rover,

But not all dogs are named that!

For great pity’s sake!

As a matter of fact,

This dog’s name was Jake!)

Now Jake, as I said

Just before I digressed,

Was in front of the fire

And was taking his rest,

And the flea on the dog

And the louse on the chair

Were both watching that tail

And that wire that was bare.

Now the flea and the dog

Had been friends a long time

(To have a flea for a friend

Is really no crime),

But the louse was a stranger,

I must here confess,

Brought home on the head

Of a kid, I should guess.

Well, old Jake would snarl

And his old legs would quiver

As in dreams he ran rabbits

Through fields by the river.

Then he’d pick up his tail

And he’d wave it around—

Like a frayed flag of victory—

Then drop it back down,

And the flea and the louse, well,

They wouldn’t breath, no sir!

‘Cause each time that tail

Got a little bit closer!

“Guess I’d better get down,”

Said the flea with a lisp,

“Or I might just by chance

Get myself burned to a crisp.

I suppose I could wake him

With a good solid bite?”

“Let him be,” said the louse,

“Its been a dull night.”

And the two, being vermin,

And “birds of a feather,”

Sat down to await

What would happen together.

And for most of the night

Old Jake got along fine.

Though he moved his tail often

He missed that wire every time.

He would wave it around

And then bring it to rest

And miss that there bare wire

A half inch at the best!

Now the flea really thought

He should help his old friend

 And was just about ready

To suggest it again

When the louse said, “You know,

Flea, I’m really quite bored.”

And old Jack laid his tail

Right smack down on that cord!

And yet “right smack down” is not

What I really should say

‘Cause he had his tail humped

In an odd sort of way

That left some tail on one side

And some on the other,

And those bugs held their breath

‘Til they thought they would smother!

“I thought he had done it,”

Said the louse with a pant.

“If he gets out of this one,

I’ll swear I’m and ant.”

Then Jake made a noise

Like a wheeze and a snore

And dropped his tail down

On that wire on the floor.

Then lights started flashin’

And sparks started flyin’,

And Jake didn’t know

If he was livin’ or dyin’!

He jerked is old head

Right straight up off the floor

With a look on his face

That hadn’t been there before,

And his ears stood straight up

And then started to wilt,

And his eyes spun around

And began to flash, “TILT”!

“Golly gee!” said the flea,

“Do you think he’s all right?

That look on his face

Is a horrible sight!”

And then with a noise

Like a growl and a roar,

Jake shot like a cannonball

‘Cross the living room floor.

He slid ‘round a corner

And shot down the hall

Rollin’ a throw rug

Up into a ball,

Went into the kitchen

In a long sidelin’ slide

That he just couldn’t stop

No matter how hard he tried;

Banged into a chair leg,

A whinin’ and scratchin’,

Diggin’ plumb through the floor tile

Before he got traction;

Then shot through the archway

And back down the hall,

‘Crossed the living room floor

And SMACK into the wall.

Now needless to say

That arrested his motion,

And some time elapsed

Ere he had even a notion

Of just where he was

And where he had been…

And what he should do next…

And where to begin.

He’d been asleep by the fire

The last he could remember,

Basking himself  in

The warmth of its ember,

And from the pain in his tail

He guessed some varmint had bit it!

It would be just TOO bad

When he caught whoever did it!

But a search of the room

Turned up no one at all!

So he crept through the kitchen,

And he slunk down the hall.

 He peeked under the table

And looked up the stair

And behind the sofa—

But there weren’t no one THERE!

Then Jakes anger faded

And he got kinda confused,

And licked his poor tail

And felt gen’rally abused.

“Well, Flea, the show’s over,”

Said the louse with a sneer.

“There’s never excitement

For long around here.”

But the flea was so glad

His friend had not come to grief

That he gave a wee small

Flea-sigh of relief.

The way old Jake’s head hung

 Made him want to WEEP,

And Jake sadly decided

He’d best go back to sleep

But just as he got back

To the place where he’d been,

His left hind-foot stepped

On that there bare wire AGIN!

Well…what happened next

Really beggars description,

And I don’t really feel I could

Give you an acc’rate depiction.

To list all the details

Would take too much time.

(And to tell you the truth

I’m might near out of rhyme).

Suffice it to say that Jake

Caused such a clatter

The folks came down the stairs

To see what was the matter,

And bless’em but they were

Astonished to find

That their faithful old hound

Had just clean lost his mind—

A snappin’ and snarlin’

And growlin’ pure hate,

His eyes flashin’ sparks

Like the logs in the grate!

He had torn up the pillows

That Grandma had made,

And scattered the toys

Where the children had played;

And wreaked great destruction

Throughout the whole house

(Just barely missed killin’

His friend Flea and the louse!)

But before he could tear up

Another thing more,

A quick-minded youngster

Threw open the door,

And Jake roared right past him

Out into the snow,
And the child stood there gapin’
And watched that dog go.
When asked what had happened,

Jake didn’t reply;

He just kept a yowlin’

And shot right on by.

‘Cause he hadn’t the time

To make leavin’ polite

Or to say “Merry Christmas!”

Or even “Good Night!”










From the Brown household, we wish all of you a very
Merry Christmas and a wonderful holiday season. I won't be posting in December so Santa is making an early visit to TWO folks who leave a comment on this site by next Monday evening. Instead of the red boot, I'm going to ask Santa Claus draw two names from his big bag...and I'll give a signed copy of The Cowboy's Christmas Baby to each person. All you have to do is comment to get your name in the boot! Tell me what's your favorite Christmas book or your favorite Christmas story or tell me if you felt just a little bit sorry for poor old Jake.