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You Know When You're in Love When... A Top Ten List

By Robin Kaye

One of the things I struggle with as a writer is showing the moment when my hero and heroine realize they have fallen into the huge abyss that is love.

Still, there are signs a person has fallen head-over-hiking boots in love. My heroes tend to be faster out of the blocks than my heroines when it comes to this. Maybe it’s because I have a tendency to write difficult women with issues and no real need for a man. They are strong, independent, and some say clueless when it comes to love. Or maybe it’s because deep down inside I like the idea of a man chasing a woman, wanting her so badly, he’s willing to do just about anything to win her heart. Sigh…yeah, that’s probably it.

So here is a Top Ten list for heroines:

You know you’re in love when…

10. You’re together and you automatically walk to the passenger’s side of the car instead of the driver’s side—even when it’s your car. Let’s face it, guys like to drive and a woman has no need to prove to her significant other that she’s more than capable of navigating the mean streets of Brooklyn or Boise.

9. You go to the liquor/grocery store and buy his favorite beer and snacks without thinking twice—though you might wonder how he drinks beer so thick you can stand a spoon in it and ponder his love of beef jerky.

8. You stop sleeping in the middle of the bed, unless you’re trying to get closer to him.

7. He comes over and you realize you don’t have a stitch of make-up on, or worse yet, haven’t taken yesterday’s makeup off, and you’re wearing an I’m-too-bloated-for-regular-clothes-scary outfit—sweatpants he left at your place and a t-shirt you stole because it smelled like him—and you don’t run screaming into your room to shower and change.

6. You sit through a movie you sooo don’t want to watch knowing the next movie night he’ll sit through a three-hanky romance and not complain about mascara stains on his new shirt.

5. You notice a lot of his hair on the drain in the shower and you warn him he’s going bald so ten years from now, it won’t come as a shock.

4. You find yourself watching the Discovery Channel’s special about the Building of the Hoover Dam for the sixth time without complaining or mentioning that watching it makes sleeping pills unnecessary.

3. You find yourself sharing your food at restaurants—well except for the chocolate desserts—and even though he’s allergic he orders one knowing you can’t decide between Death by Chocolate Cake and the Chocolate Covered Cannolli.

2. You look around your empty house or apartment and wonder why it feels weird. You try to figure out what’s missing only to realize it’s him.

Number one: You know you’re in love when…

You don’t kill him in his sleep after you realize too late he’s left the seat up. Again.

Yup, that’s when you know you know you’ve fallen in love… right after you realize you’ve also fallen in the toilet. Ain’t love grand?


  1. Thanks, Robin! Finally, after 17 years, I've got my husband trained on #1.

  2. I wonder what the guy's list looks like? Does he know he's fallen in love when he goes charging off to work, only to turn his chariot around two lights from the office to come home and put the seat down? When he thinks "Pretty Woman" isn't THAT bad? Do we have a representative of the distaff to weigh in with us? (Probably not, if they're all busy compulsively putting down potty lids.)

  3. Love this list, Robin :-) I think I managed to train my husband on #1 five months after we married (or was it six?) but since I haven't managed to train him on anything else, I suppose I should be happy with what I've got!

  4. I think this post simply adds to the already overwhelming evidence that I'm a gay man in a woman's body. My car? I drive. I'm the one who can watch the Hoover Dam show for the nth time, or MythBusters, or shows about extreme engineering or making choppers. The words "We need to talk" send shivers of dread down my spine. OTOH, my SO has always been a 'put the seat down' man, so I've got that going for me. (Yeah, the Caddyshack in-joke? More evidence.)

  5. I love this. I have the last one in check (finally) but now with two little boys I find myself having to pass on the wisdom all over again. :)

  6. There's nothing like that cold toilet water on your privates in the middle of the night. That's love all right!


  7. LOL, hilarious, Robin. #4 you know you're in love when you sit through The Good, The Bad and The Ugly on high volume the tenth time in one month and you're still looking at him like he hung the moon.

  8. Ssshhh . . . don't tell the hubby but he's about to get a #5 moment. Poor thing.


  9. Great list, Robin! #10 reminds me of an assignment for a class I once took--can't remember which one. We were supposed to get in on the driver's side without saying a word, and then write an account of the ensuing fireworks. Let's just say, there were a few in my case...

  10. Great post Robin! OMG after 23 years--the love only grows. It's not the same as the awe struck stuff we remember when we were dating, this is real.
    Though I knew I had something real when on our first "official" date I burned the steaks, had an allergy attack (I was house sitting for friends who owned 4 cats), and the movies he brought over were "Blazing Saddles" and "Airplane". I knew he was the one for me.
    Now, we still quote "Airplane" to each other when he arrives at the airport from business trips. That's love! "The red zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only. . . there is no parking in the white zone." LOL

  11. Tamara, I think we're long-lost sisters. The other day I had to list my ten favorite movies, and half of them had balls in them. (baseballs, footballs, etc.) No wonder my DH thinks I hung the moon. I'm the one who said, "Can we get Phillies playoff tickets?!"

  12. @ Tracey - My DH is trained, I'm still working on my son though...

    @ Grace - LOL I'm sure making a midnight run to the convenience store for tampons and chocolate would be close to the bottom.

    @ Michellesinclair - In my case, when it comes to picking up after someone, it's my dear husband who picks up after me. I love it. He does all the laundry too--he doesn't fold right away, so I walk around wrinkled, but it doesn't bother me enough to take over the job. I just make sure I take all my work clothes to the dry cleaner.

    @ Tamara - I love MythBusters and TopGear--they're my favorite shoes - I'm just so not into dams I'll never forget on out first trip to Buffalo, NY (where he grew up) he took me to Niagara Falls, and to a power plant. We were newly married to I feigned interest. It pretty much ended there--the feigned interest, not the marriage LOL

    @ Avery - LOL Good luck with that!

    @ Maggie - Exactly!

    @ Marley - Yeah, that's true love all right!

    @ Robin - I've been telling my DH since he was 22. LOL I'll never forget when he first noticed. He was holding our first child in his hand and peaking into his diaper when I snapped a picture. The flash bounced off his small bald spot on the top of his head. When he saw the picture he said "Wow, I really am going bald!" I just rolled my eyes and said well, duh, what do you think I've been warning you about for the last five years... Sigh.

    @ Cheryl - My DH doesn't mind when I drive, but frankly, I drive so damn much, I'm happy to let him do it, well, except when we drive by construction sites--especially when there are big cranes involved. It's a disaster!

    @ Loni - OMG! I'd love your husband too. Those are two of my favorite movies. I just introduced Blazing Saddles to my daughter and her boyfriend a week or so ago. I laughed so hard I cried and they looked at me as if I were a complete loon.

  13. @ Carla - LOL I can't wait for you to meet my character, Jessie, Carla. You are sooo gonna love her. Fisher is still wondering what to do with her but at least he's happy.

  14. Great list, Robin! I can totally relate to #7--I love wearing something that smells like my hubby! He doesn't understand that at all. Must be a girl thing!!!
    Beth from MRW

  15. Terrific list, Robin. Based on personal experience, I'd like to add: ...when you realize you're willing to wear earplugs to bed for the rest of your life so you can get even a few hours sleep. What? No one else sleeps with a snorer? No one else ever tempted to stuff a pillowcase into their SO's mouth?

  16. Robin, I always love your posts! I think mine is that when he snores, I reach for my Kindle, instead of planting two feet in his backside and launching him from the bed.

  17. I love #1 and 310. What is it with the driving thing? I seriously think I am a better driver--much calmer anyway--but he never lets me drive. Well, I guess I could force it but then he would sulk.

  18. Great list, Robin. Another one is you know how much you love them when they've had a glass of wine, and choke up telling a story of a dog they had when they were a kid. Because, after all, the only time it's okay for them to show their sensitivity is with wine & animals.

  19. Cute, cute, cute! Enjoyed them all, Robin.

  20. @ Paige - I do too! I'll never forget the night I woke up wondering if I was sleeping with the wrong person, DH didn't smell like himself. I just about had a heart attack, because I don't make it a habit to sleep with men who are not my husband. I came fully awake, checked and sure enough, it was my husband. The next morning I found out he changed deodorant--needless to say, he switched back immediately.

    @ Diane - Waves hand... I'm a fellow ear-plug wearer. And yes, I have been tempted to place a pillow over his face until his chest stopped moving. The other good thing about ear plugs, not only do I not hear him snore, I don't hear the kids, the cat who likes to be fed at 4:30 AM, or anything else for that matter.

    @ Elizabeth - Definitely try the ear plugs--they're a Godsend!

    @ Shana - Don't you hate it when men sulk, they're like overgrown six year olds sometimes, I swear.

    @ Jo Anne - Or when they tip their water glass so the cat can stick his head in it and share. DH does always get himself a fresh glass, but doesn't mind sharing with his three-legged buddy. Sigh...

    @ Amelia - Thanks!

  21. Hi, Robin,

    Great post. Needed a good laugh and you always come through!

    I identify with several, but - Fellow Earplug Wearers, Unite!!

    Congrats on another great post,

    Laura DT (from MRW)

  22. @ Laura - Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to stop by. LOL about the earplugs. We should having the SO of an annoying snorer support group. In the book I just turned in, Call Me Wild, the hero has a soft, comforting snore. What can I say, it's fiction...

  23. I'll be chuckling for hours.


  24. What a great list Robin. I didn't worry too much about #1 because hubby cleaned the toiletswhen we first got married. Can that be a good reason to be in love? LOL. Now that there's stuff that you leave in with no scrubbing necessary, I know hubby & son are good.

    And I love that part of the book when the H and/or H realize they're in love.


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