When I first published, about a dozen years ago, writers
talked a lot about not being taken seriously. Their families didn’t respect
their writing time. Their friends thought their work was just a hobby. We gave
and attended workshops on how to guard your time and not feel guilty about not
answering the phone or the door to the bored neighbor who wants to have coffee.
I thought in 2017 this attitude had passed. After all,
people are working more flexible schedules now, and with the advances in
technology, more people work from home. Personally, I feel like I’ve proven
myself to anyone who might question whether writing is my job or just a hobby.
I’ve published over 30 books with four more releasing this year. What else do I
have to do to be taken seriously?
Apparently, I have to get an office. There seems to be
something about physically going to an office to work, as opposed to the
kitchen table or a home office, that is magical. An office away from home
magically legitimizes your work. I’m being sarcastic…sort of. But I don’t know
how else to account for family member requests that I babysit their children
during work hours, for friends that ask me to meet them for breakfast after
school drop off, or for the school itself who seems to expect me to put folders
together or teach a lesson on gardening or collect boxtops during the school
day. Even my daughter, who is seven, asks me at least once a week if I am a
stay-at-home mom. I have told her a dozen times that I’m a work-at-home mom.
Yes, my schedule allows me to pick her up when school ends. She doesn’t have to
go to after-school care. Yes, I can take her to dance or gymnastics or playdates.
Much of the time when she’s in an extracurricular class, I’m working on my
computer. I spend a lot of my weekends working too. But since I don’t go to an
office, like her father, all those books I write must just magically appear. No
matter how many times I explain that I must work when she is at school, she seems
skeptical.
My mother was a stay-at-home mom for much of my childhood,
and she was always super busy. There was laundry and cleaning and cooking to
do. And that’s a never-ending and thankless job. There is nothing wrong with
being a stay-at-home mom. If I wasn’t a writer and I could afford it, I would be
a stay-at-home mom. I think a lot of moms wish they could spend more time with
their kids. But even if I was a stay-at-home mom, that wouldn’t mean I would
want to spend my day at the school or having coffee and chatting, or
babysitting other people’s children. And I would never assume a stay-at-home
mom had nothing to do. I always assume my stay-at-home mom friends have a daily
schedule, just like I do.
And really that’s all I want. The common courtesy of
treating me and my career with respect. No matter if I do it at home or in an
office, whether I’m paid for it or do it out of love for my family. As a
culture, let’s stop Jane Jetson-ing women. I’m referring to “The Jetsons,” a
1960s/1980s TV show that claimed to show us the future, and in that future
women spent all their time at the mall. It’s a stereotype that, though not as
blatant as it was in the 60s and 80s, is still with us today.
I’m not going shopping today. I can’t because No, Really, I
Have a Job.
Nail, head, you hit it.
ReplyDeleteThanks! I'm just so tired of telling the same people that I have a job.
DeleteEdmund Crispin wrote a short story titled "We Know You’re Busy Writing, but We Thought You Wouldn’t Mind If We Just Dropped in For a Minute... after all, it's only us."
ReplyDeleteOf course, since Crispin wrote murder mysteries, you can guess what happened to the intruders.
I think most writers would consider that justifiable homicide.
DeleteWhat a great article! I think the fact that people are more inconsiderate these days doesn't help either.
Delete