By Samantha Grace
It’s not often I hear couples say they never have a disagreement, but when I do I wonder how that’s possible. I can’t even agree with myself all the time. But let’s say there really are couples that always have the same ideas, the same opinions, the same likes. I’m sure they exist. I just don’t want to be the other half of a Brain Twin Couple. I mean, I like myself, but why would I want to marry my clone?
It’s not often I hear couples say they never have a disagreement, but when I do I wonder how that’s possible. I can’t even agree with myself all the time. But let’s say there really are couples that always have the same ideas, the same opinions, the same likes. I’m sure they exist. I just don’t want to be the other half of a Brain Twin Couple. I mean, I like myself, but why would I want to marry my clone?
My husband and I like a lot of the same things. Neither of
us ever have a clue who’s playing in the Super bowl or the World Series year to year. He’s
content to forego hunting to help me find a great pair of boots. We have the
same goofy sense of humor. And we’re equally enthusiastic about the newest Star
Trek movie coming to a theater near us soon. (He couldn’t believe I liked Star
Trek, The Next Generation when we started dating. He’d hit the jackpot, but so
did I. Any man willing to devote his Saturday to helping me find homes for the
kittens the stray I took in had is a keeper.)
Mondays call for kitty photos |
But no matter how much we have in common, we are also
different. Sometimes those differences get on each other’s nerves. I’m always
running late. He drives like a maniac. There really is no causal relationship
between the two. I swear, he’s a reckless driver all the time. Other times, I
love our differences. He’s much more adventurous than I am, which is the reason
I saw Oahu by motorcycle rather than a tour bus, rode bicycles across the
Golden Gate Bridge, and explored NYC with no itinerary.
Favorite find in NYC. I saw the masts from the Brooklyn Bridge and said, "Ooh! I want to go there!" |
And he’s definitely the
reason I felt safe taking the plunge into writing. He’s my safety net, because
I know he will catch me if I fall or else we’ll crash together. As far as what
I’ve given to him, he once told me I taught him how to love. My heart melted.
I try to remember the things I appreciate about him when we’re slipping into a rerun of The Bickertons. Yeah, sometimes we bicker. To me, that’s what being part of a couple that doesn’t share one brain entails. But having disagreements doesn’t mean we aren’t perfect for each other. Plus, arguing is within our control really. The last time we were on the verge of a fight, I looked at him and said, “You know, we can choose to skip the fighting part and just make up.” For two busy working parents, it just made sense.
I’m happy to have people in my life that bring something
different to the relationship, whether it’s a romantic relationship,
friendship, working partnership, etc. Last week I was reading an article in the magazine Mayo Health Systems publishes. (No, the sandwich spread doesn’t have a magazine.
Come on, someone thought that’s what I meant. Admit it.)
The article was about how positive thinking makes us healthier, because we manage stress levels better. Dr. Sood, a Mayo MD, shared a few techniques to help us focus on the positives in our lives. One that resonated with me was starting the day by silently thanking 5 people who have enhanced our lives. I love that idea!
So in honor of February, the Month of Love, I'm taking a moment to not-so silently thank some of the people who have made this month easier or better for me.
The article was about how positive thinking makes us healthier, because we manage stress levels better. Dr. Sood, a Mayo MD, shared a few techniques to help us focus on the positives in our lives. One that resonated with me was starting the day by silently thanking 5 people who have enhanced our lives. I love that idea!
So in honor of February, the Month of Love, I'm taking a moment to not-so silently thank some of the people who have made this month easier or better for me.
Thank you for making my life better!
Hubby – He was an amazing help Sunday shopping with our daughter for a birthday present for a friend and taking her to the party, then coming
home to help me make dinner. What a guy!
Aileen Fish, Julie Johnstone, & Robin Delany – Three
invaluable critique partners, and lovely authors, that have been helping me
with my latest book.
Misty Helm – As a bookseller, she has been on the front lines
getting my books into the hands of readers since my debut a year ago, but she
went above and beyond this past week. She created this great cover photo for my
Facebook Page showcasing all four historical hotties from my regency series.
Jake Hillary, Captain Daniel Hillary, Lord Andrew & the Duke of Foxhaven |
BFF at work – She always makes me laugh, and she was
willing to change her work schedule last week so I could have the week off to
write. Love that girl.
Teenage son – For getting me hooked on The Walking Dead
and giving us something we can both enjoy. It’s guaranteed time together. What
more could a mom want?
So, now it’s your turn. Just name 5 people you appreciate
and let the love fest begin!
Heh, I'm in the midst of Schools a Scoundrel so must respond to this 'cause well...I'm reading your book!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, 5 people I appreciate:
1) Hubby, who puts up with my meanderings and retreats into my head to write.
2) My boss for not firing me even though I had a tendency to write during work hours last year.
3) My twin toddlers because while they might be the most frustrating, annoying girls known to man, they make me laugh because they're goofballs.
4) My son for being the dorky dweeb that he is (and making me laugh).
5) My cubicle mate who frequently hears me say, "Amy, I'm going to kill you" and "Someone's going to die today" and doesn't report me to the police/HR as a crazy person.
Tory,
ReplyDeleteHahahaha... Only an author will announce someone's going to die today. That's funny! It sounds like you have a great workplace that's supportive of your writing.
Plus, you have your hands full with twin toddlers. I wasn't able to start writing until my youngest was in school. I'm always in awe of author moms with young kids.
Thanks for stopping by today and playing along. And I hope you enjoy Schools a Scoundrel. Happy writing! :)
Loved your post. Just read today that marriage is finding that extra special someone who you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Husband and I are NOT that couple that never have a disagreement.
ReplyDeleteFive people?
Husband. He just brought coffee to my office so that deserves top billing. It takes a special person to live with an author.
My sister. She knows my secrets and doesn't tell them, and she told me I was an author before I had the courage to jump into the deep water.
My characters. So far they haven't forsaken me and even pop into my dreams.
Two more...can't do it, Samantha Grace! There's a list as long as my arm. You stopped to visit with me last year in California. Joanne had breakfast with me in New York. Cheryl sat beside me at my first conference and put the butterflies in my stomach at ease. Shirley Marks, my conference buddy...and on and on and on!
*sniff* And then they stopped seating us in alphabetical order, Carolyn. I miss our talks!
ReplyDeleteLike Carolyn's, my list could go on forever, starting with my mother from whom I inherited my creativity, and my father from whom I inherited my writing ability. My sisters and my husband and sons would come next. Yeah. Too numerous to count.
Great blog, Samantha, and sooo true!!!
ReplyDeleteMy kids--without them I'd be lost.
My critique partners--same.
My fans--who are so much fun to visit with.
My local friends--who make me quit writing to share a day at movies and lunches and trips to fun places.
My characters who make my world fun and interesting, sexy, adventurous, and make me feel great.
Samantha,
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely blog and a lovely thank you! I consider you invaluable as well. There are so many people I would give thanks to, but I'll narrow it down to five right now. My father, who is my biggest fan! My husand who brags to everyone his wife is a romance writer and that all my heroes are based on him. My friend Heather Boyd who taught me step by step how to format books. My best friend Jennifer, and editor, who edited my first book for free!, and my awesome critque partner who is always there for me - you!
My dear author, you have done the impossible and have rendered me near speechless. I do what I do because I have a lifelong love of books. I love an author that can help me escape my life even if it is just for a little while. It is interesting that you have chosen this topic for this Monday. It for me follows a weekend where I have been extremely hard on myself, and as I fell asleep last night I took a moment to thank those people who influence me to keep going and not throw in the towel on aspects of my life where I have wondered if I shouldn’t simply move on. As this topic once again came to the forefront of my mind over the weekend the answer came in the form of four small faces. They are the reason I won’t quit and they are the reason I plow forward. Moreover there are a handful of adults that also touch my world and keep me believing. Thank you Samantha, I am humbled and honored to have met and made such a friend in you (who else would I have to rant over the Bachelor with?). You yourself have influenced me, our talks have led me to begin to tip toe my feet back into the creative waters and see what could be. Now get back to writing, I need a new book to read LOL.
ReplyDeleteMy life influences and those that I give my eternal thanks to include
1. Sophia, Samantha, Elijah and baby Jimmy. They are not my children, but they are the children of my heart. They are my world and they are the reason that when the seas gets too rough I push forward. They remind me to have fun and they remind me that there is hope for the future. I am cheating a bit but combined they are 12 yrs and 9 months lol
2. My Mom who doesn’t believe I see all that she does for me, when really I do see it.
3. Diane my best friend of 24 years, without her I would have long ago been lost. We have seen each other through good times and through bad times. Yet we have never strayed from the other.
4. My boss Kathleen, for making go at being the best book store owner she can be in a market that is ever getting tough to be in. She took a leap of faith in this struggling college student at a place in my life where I needed that stability.
5. Professor Dennis Ringle, for seeing something in me that I could not see, he guided and nurtured my love of history and encouraged me to pursue it. He was the first person to ever point out my talents and he put other students in my path as a means to show me that I could influence another and guide them through a learning process.
There are a lot more people than five that I could write about. Several of whom helped to take me out of the darkest place a person can be in. There is not a day that goes by that I don’t give my thanks to these people in some way, shape or form.
As a side note, thank you to all the wonderful authors, who take months and years out of their lives to craft and escape from the everyday mundane. You are more than appreciated in this girl’s book.
My husband and I definitely have disagreements. You will never hear anything like "and we never had a fight" from me.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate
1. my husband
2. my parents
3. my writer friends
4. my assistant
5. my agents
What a great post! I would have to say:
ReplyDelete1. My family for their unwavering support.
2. My CP for her endless reads and brutal honesty.
3. My readers for encouraging me to write.
4. My muse when she doesn't abandon me.
5. My writer friends for their shoulder to cry on or their hand to "high five."
Lawyer buddy, writing buddy, riding buddy, office buddy, and brother, um, buddy. I could go on...
ReplyDeleteAww, you're so sweet. It's been an honor, and lots of fun, being able to critique your novels and getting to know you as a person. I feel blessed to have found such an awesome group to brainstorm and critique with.
ReplyDelete1 Hubby - Who always knows how to make me feel better and, though he can drive me crazy, helps me be relaxed and silly when I'm uptight.
2 my kids - who make me laugh, even when I feel like crying.
3 Samantha Grace - After all your help these past couple years, I want to thank you too for the help and support you've given me.
4 My other writer friends and CPs - Who have helped me see ways to improve my writing and become a stronger and happier writer.
5 My Mom and Sister - Who help me celebrate my victories, no matter how small, and get over my losses, no matter how significant.
Carolyn,
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a sweetheart, and you two together are the cutest ever! I'm sure you don't remember, but Florida was my first SB dinner after I signed on. I felt really out of place - kind of like a fraud since I didn't even have a book out yet - but I sat by you in the limo and you made me feel at home. So... Hell, Yeah! I wanted to visit with you in Cali. ;D
Cheryl,
ReplyDeleteThe list really is hard to limit. I only counted the ones who had most recently done something nice for me. :)
How awesome that you got your creativity from your mom and your writing abilities from your dad!
Terry,
ReplyDeleteWhat would we do without our nice, normal friends to drag us away from the laptop? I'm very thankful for my friends and family, too. Both my mother-in-law and daughter coaxed me into taking a break last week and seeing movies. I'm so glad they did. :)
Julie,
ReplyDeleteI love that your dad is your biggest fan. It's so cool that he reads your books! And I just giggled imagining your hubby telling everyone he's the inspiration for your hot regency guys. Tell him he still owes us a cover pose. I think he promised to wear a kilt. ;D
Misty,
ReplyDeleteYou made me cry. What a beautiful tribute to the people who have touched your life. I'm so happy you reached out to me. That took guts and my life is enriched because of you. And hallelujah! I needed another Bachelor fan to discuss the show with. :)
Shana,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear others bicker with their spouses too. Now if I can just get another mother to admit she isn't Super Mom. I feel so inadequate at times. LOL
Victoria,
ReplyDeleteIt takes a true friend who can be brutally honest without killing your muse. I think you have a keeper CP. :)
Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteI hope your lawyer buddy is just a buddy. I'm not sure I would like to be that close with my lawyer. ;)
Thanks for stopping by today!
Robin,
ReplyDeleteThat's really sweet of you to say. I've been having a great time getting to know you, too, and getting a sneak peek of your work. I can't wait until everyone gets a chance to read your books. You have the best ideas! :)
Love your post! My BF and I are complete opposites and I wouldn't have it any other way. As you say, there are so many things I would never have done if it weren't for him and his traits complement my weaknesses and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteSo my top five:
1) My BF, who thinks it's the coolest thing ever that I'm a writer and hands out my business cards to all his truck-driving workmates.
2) My mum, for teaching me what it is to be a strong woman.
3) My Dad, who is one of a kind and doesn't give a rats what anyone thinks about him.
4) The members of the ELE, because they're just evil and yet they're the best writerly friends i could ever hope to have.
5) My netball gals... Because who else can i get up to mischief with?
I loved the cat photo, so cute!
ReplyDelete