That Realistic Ending (Romance Style, Of Course)

I love a good happy ending. Probably why I return to romance time and again as a reader. I love being left with that optimistic feeling that good can triumph evil, that even a broken heart can be healed, that true love conquers all. Is it realistic in real life? Maybe not always, but our world is depressing enough. A little hope at the end of a book isn't too much to ask.

Realism is something readers will call an author on, though. The romance, that happily ever after, has to be believable or the reader walks away feeling cheated. A long lasting love is believable if a book spans a year or more, but what about when a book only covers a week? Or how about less than a week? Can two people fall in love for the long haul in such a short amount of time?

Let's look at the science.

Researchers have shown it takes between 90 seconds and four minutes to decide if you're interested in someone. This interest has little to do with what someone says but rather,

55% is through body language

38% is the tone and speed of the other person's voice

and only 7% is through what is said.

Four minutes tops. That's it. That's the same time it takes to watch someone board a train and find a seat or listen to them order a coffee or drop their laundry off at the cleaners.

From there, according to Helen Fisher, an anthropology professor at Rutgers University, there are three stages of love:

Stage 1: Lust - the sex drive or libidio, driven by the sex hormones testosterone and estrogen - in both men and women - that make people want to have sex.

Stage 2: Attraction - the time when a person is love struck and can think of nothing else. Scientists believe three main neurotransmitters play a role in this stage:

• adrenaline - which causes the heart to race, the body to sweat and the mouth to go dry


• dopamine - which stimulates 'desire and reward' by triggering a rush of pleasure, not unlike a cocaine high


• and serotonin - which keeps the brain focused on one thing: that other person.

Stage 3: Attachment - the bond that keeps couples together. Scientists think there are two major hormones involved in attachment between people:

• oxytocin - released by both men and women during orgasm. The more orgasms a couple experiences together, the more oxytocin is released and thereby the more connected they feel to each other. (By the way...oxytocin is also the same hormone released between a mother and child during childbirth and it's the same hormone that stimulates a mother's breast to release milk at the mere sight or sound of her child.)


• and vasopressin - a hormone released during sex. The more sex a couple engages in, the more vasopressin is released in the brain, which deepens their connection and in some cases triggers males to become aggressive toward other males who show interest in their females.

Is there a time frame on each of these stages of love? Not specifically. Some couples go through them quickly, others take longer. A lot depends on how each person was raised, their previous experiences and their attitude toward relationships.

So what happens when two people are placed in a life or death situation? This happens in romance novels quite a bit. Someone's out to get the hero or heroine. They're on the run. Danger lurks around every corner. It is believable that two people can fall in love during extreme situations especially when their time together spans only a few days, and more importantly...is it believable that they can sustain that love once once the danger has passed?

Well, let's look at what happens to the body when you're in danger. When the body is under extreme duress, the autonomic nervous system signals the adrenal gland that it's time to release adrenaline. Adrenaline, remember, is an important hormone during the attraction phase of falling in love. When you're attracted to someone, your heart races, your body sweats, and your mouth may feel dry. When your body is threatened, these same symptoms result, often triggering the fight or flight response. And when that threat happens to both you and the person you're insanely attracted to, those fight or flight responses are magnified. A lot.

Couples who fall in love during extreme situations tend to experience a deeper and often faster attraction stage than those who fall in love under normal circumstances. That "will we live through this?" mindset triggers the release of even more adrenaline, which then often leads to more sex (after all, if you're going to die, you might as well die happy, right?). More sex results in more oxytocin and vasopressin being released into the body, therefore deepening a couple's attachment. Will it last? That depends on the couple, their level of attachment and, in our case, the author.

The author's job is to get you, the reader, to believe, yes, these two can make it work even when the danger is gone and life returns to normal. This is why sex in a romance is so very important. Without sex, that attachment, especially between two people who have only spent a few days together, can't happen. There's not enough time. If the author has shown the lust, the deep attraction and, ultimately, the attachment in such a way that the reader believes the couple is going to make it, then the ending, no matter how it's written, will be one the reader won't soon forget.

And an ending a reader doesn't forget - especially in a romance novel - is what it's all about, isn't it? That happily ever after that says...hope remains, good DOES triumph evil, a broken heart WILL be healed and true love ALWAYS conquers all.

How about you? What makes a short time-frame romance realistic for you?