"Back of the Box" Thanksgiving

by Tamara Hogan

I'm not the world's greatest cook. Actually, let me correct that - the food I cook is actually pretty tasty, but let's just say the fewer the ingredients, the better. Most of my go-to recipes have:

- 5 ingredients or less,
- can be assembed using largely pre-packaged ingredients, or
- have the words easy, simple or brainless in the title

My most well-thumbed cookbook is called "The Back of the Box Gourmet."

I don't have a lot of patience for complexity, fuss, or dishes. If the recipe is putzy, it's not for me. And that's okay, because I have a repertoire of utterly brainless, calorie-laden recipes that friends and family BEG me to make, year after year.

Mark and I are hosting my family for Thanksgiving this year, with the event being pretty casual, and heavy on the appetizers:

Kari's Nacho Dip

1 lb. hamburger, browned

1 can cream of chicken soup

1 jar of salsa 

1 small block Mexican Velveeta Cheese

Instructions: In large pan on stovetop, brown hamburger. Add soup, salsa and Velveeta, stir/mix until cheese is melted and all ingredients blend. Voila! Ready to serve with tortilla chips. I keep mine warm in a small crockpot.

I know, the cream of chicken soup seems really out of place ("One of these things is not like the other...") but work with me here.

Artichoke Dip 
1 can artichokes
1 cup shredded parmesan cheese
1 cup Miracle Whip
1 cup sour cream
1 tsp. garlic
Optional: real bacon bits to taste

Instructions: drain artichokes, squeezing out all that nasty can juice. Break apart artichokes into a medium sized bowl. Add all other ingredients. Stir. Heat in oven, microwave, or crockpot until bubbly.

I realize "bacon bits to taste" is a very dangerous statement. I personally can eat my body weight in bacon in a single sitting. But please--control yourselves.

Parmesan Cheese Crisps (ONE INGREDIENT! ONE!)
8 oz. shredded parmesan or provelone cheese

Instructions: heat a non-stick skillet to medium-high heat. Spoon 1 tbsp. of cheese into skillet. Let it melt, browning slightly, approx. 2 minutes. No need to turn. Using a spatula or similar tool, scoop crisps out of pan onto a cooling rack. Repeat until all cheese is crisped.

<Taking a bow> I know. You can thank me later. ;-)

For the meal, in addition to Mark's Squashy Potatoes (basically mashed potatoes combined with butternut squash), we'll be serving up the following pan o' cholesterol goodness:

Sheila's Cheesy Hash Browns
2 lb. bag of frozen cubed hash browns, thawed
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
1 stick of melted butter 
1 pint heavy whipping cream

Instructions: Spread thawed hash browns in a 9 X 13 pan. Add mozzarella cheese and mix until evenly distributed with potatoes. Pour melted butter and whipping cream over the hash brown/cheese mixture. Bake in 350' oven for 1 hour or until brown and bubbly. 

Heaven, I tell you. Heaven.

Turkey? Oh, yes, there will be turkey. Mom's on turkey patrol, thank god - and there will be plenty of leftovers. 

What's your favorite thing to do with leftover turkey?