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Our Great Humorists

We are so fortunate to have so many talented, witty English-speaking writers. Today I’m sharing a few of my favorite quotes with you. I know these ladies and gentlemen always bring a smile to my lips.

Oscar Wilde

Always forgive your enemies—nothing annoys them so much.

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she'll tell anything.

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

Jane Austen

I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them a great deal.

One cannot be always laughing at a man without now and then stumbling on something witty.

It was a delightful visit - perfect, in being much too short.

Mark Twain

Get the facts first. You can distort them later. (Perfect for historical authors!)

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.

Dorothy Parker

You can drag a horticulture, but you can't make her think. (when challenged to use “horticulture” in a sentence)

I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

Who are some of your favorite humorous writers? What are your favorite witty quotes?


  1. That's cute, Shana! Love your quotes! Can't think of any off hand, and I've got to get to work! Have a terrific Monday!

  2. I have a file of writers on writing quotes. Glancing through it I came across this by Robert A Heinlein (science fiction author)

    "Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterward."

  3. S. J. Perelman is a hilarious writer. I read a short story collection of his years ago. He has a gift for the absurd. I want to re-read some of his stuff.

  4. My favorite is Catherine Aird's quote - If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning." It's my new heroine's motto.

  5. I can't come up with book quotes off the top of my head, but movie ones?

    "Oh, Abby Someone."
    "Abby who?"
    "Abby Normal."

    Robin, I'm liking your quote!

  6. What a fun post, Shana! I love quotes, especially when they are witty and poignant! Oscar Wilde is one of my favorites, as well as George Bernard Shaw:

    "A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic."

    "The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."

    "When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth."

  7. Shana,
    I loved them all! One of my favorites is from Marilyn Monroe: I don't mind living in a man's world if I can be a woman in it.

  8. Oh so cool Shana! I can't quote anybody but I can needlepoint or embordier the quote you gave. Thanks for the ideas.

    Amelia, I like yours to, I want to fit in if I can be myself! Thanks.

  9. I've always enjoyed Oscar Wilde because his had such a bite to them and were so true.

  10. Loved the quotes. I'm especially fond of Mark Twain for his sarcastic wit. He wrote lots of funny stuff... too bad I can't remember what it was!

  11. Some great ones, Shana!

    I too love Twain. One of my favorites goes something like, If Con is the opposite of Pro then Congress must be the opposite of progress.

    And I'm also a big fan of G.B. Shaw. My fave of his is: No good deed goes unpunished. (I had that one on my signature line in my Dreaded Day Job.)


  12. The old brain is not firing well enough today to come up with quotes, but this sure was a fun read. Thanks Shana!

    Jane Austen was definitely witty. I was reading through a ton of quotes from her letters for a speech I gave recently and it was very tough to narrow down a few to use! She had "snark" mastered long before the term was created.

    I always loved Erma Bombeck. And Dave Barry is a favorite funny writer.

  13. Some great quotes here, Shana. I'm gonna give you one my son says: No matter how bad you think it is, it could always be worse. You could be on fire.


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