Tuesday, April 28, 2009

When Bunny Slippers and a Gargoyle go to Las Vegas

“I can’t believe she left us on the side of the road!” An outraged Horace threw up his stony arms as he paced back and forth in the dirt. “This is gargoyle abandonment.”
“We got tossed out too.” A disgruntled Fluff sighed heavily. “But it’s your fault for telling Linda she’s a lousy driver.”

“Cutting off another car is not a crime and she should have cut off that eighteen wheeler. Just use your magick and zap us to the hotel,” Horace suggested.Puff shook his head.
“Jazz bound part of our magick, so we’re limited this week. She said we behave or else and we’re not going to use it all up first thing.”
Horace looked off to the side. “What is –?”
Fluff and Puff looked in the same direction and watched the snake slithering their way.
“AUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!” They leapt into the air and landed on Horace’s head.
The gargoyle shouted and batted at them, but no way they were getting down. All three looked at the road as a rattletrap truck slowly made its way toward them then stopped. The man that climbed out looked several hundred years old with a battered hat perched on his head and a matted graying beard.
“Hey, can we hitch a ride?” Horace asked.
The elderly man grinned, displaying broken teeth. “Well lookie here, dinner.” He reached back inside his truck and pulled out a rifle that looked as old as he was. He was quick for his advanced age as he brought the rifle up.
“Get us out! Get us out now!” Horace shouted as Fluff and Puff instantly wrapped their magick around them and they disappeared in wisp of smoke.
“Damn!” The old man muttered as he returned to his truck. “I lose more food that way.”
“You can’t go,” Linda told them as she applied lip gloss.“Bite is about vampires. We belong there more than you do,” Fluff argued.
“You won’t like it. If you promise not to get into trouble, cruise the casino. But no making the slots pay out.”
“We want to see Bite!” Puff whined.
“Oh yeah.” Horace flipped pages of a magazine detailing local sights. “Showgirls, vampires. Works for me.”
Linda sighed. “If I don’t take you, you’ll find a way to go, won’t you?”
She dug in her suitcase and pulled out a tote bag. “Fine, but no dancing on stage and no singing along or I’ll tell Jazz and you’ll never leave the house again.”
An hour later the bunny slippers were screaming in horror and covering their eyes with their ears and Horace watched the stage with avid fascination.“Lord Vampire has a good thing there,” he said.
“It’s gross! We don’t like seeing womens’ boobies!” The slippers howled, now burrowing under the table in search of Linda’s tote bag.
Linda smiled. “I told you you wouldn’t like it.”
Fluff and Puff exchanged telling looks. “She’ll be sorry she brought us here.”
And what do bunny slippers do to get even?
“If they’re not here in five minutes I’m leaving without them.” Linda checked her watch.
Four minutes, fifty-nine seconds later the door opened with Fluff and Puff sliding inside and Horace behind them.
“What have you done?!”
The off-white slippers were now a rich chocolate brown and the gray stone gargoyle was covered with a shiny white goo. All three were dripping on the carpet.
“You didn’t tell us there was a chocolate factory!” Fluff accused.
“And for good reason.” Linda turned to Horace. “Look at you!”
“I don’t like chocolate, but marshmallow was pretty cool. Those vats are really deep. I almost drowned.” Except his outrage was rapidly cooled as Linda hauled the threesome into the bathroom and under the shower.

“Oh come on!” Puff tried to wiggle his way out of her reach as she squirted body wash on all of them. “You complain because we have chocolate all over us, but you use chocolate smelling soap?”

“You will use your magick to clean up that mess on the carpet,” she told them as she sudsed and sudsed and sudsed.

Once she was finished, she toweled them dry and ordered them into her tote bag.

They hunkered down in the bottom of the bag and shared a telling look. “Maybe it’s not a good time to tell her we stashed Elvis in the back of her SUV.”
Author Brenda Novak hosts an auction to benefit Juvenile Diabetes every year and I have two donations over there. A critique for a full manuscript and a hexy basket that's inspired by the first four witches. And there are many many more wonderful donations there to bid on. Please take a look at them all!


  1. You gotta love those bunnies! Fun stuff, Linda!

  2. Sounds like a good time was had by all, Linda!!

  3. Yeah, but I want to know if Elvis made it home.

  4. Wow, Linda! Fun post!

    I have the auction date on my calendar as May 1. Can we bid early?


  5. Thanks! They are fun except for "are we there yet?" every five minutes, multiple pit stops, and singing the yellow bus song.

    Terry, I sent Elvis back. A nice gift, but he wasn't too happy about being kidnapped.


  6. Thanks Amelia.

    I don't think bidding opens until May 1.


  7. Good one, Linda!

    I knew the slippers would love the choccie factory. ;-)

    I also think the bidding for the auction starts Friday the 1st. I have an ARC of my Sept. release "Treasures of Venice" up for bid and also an autographed copy of "Wild Sight" and a 30 page critique.

    I think Marie has 2 critiques/copy edits.

    Hope everyone can check the auction out because it is a very good cause!


  8. Anyone who would take magic bunny slippers and a gargoyle to Las Vegas is one gutsy chick!

  9. Or crazy, MM.

    I think I qualify as both. :}