Saturday, August 30, 2014

Jade's New Life Challenges

Jade's New Life Challenges

Hello everyone! Guess what? 

A. Jade has won the lottery and made a zillion dollars!
B. Jade has had a summer melt down that involved bourbon and strippers, and is now writing from jail.

C. Had a baby!
D. Has developed a medical condition that makes her insane.

Answer: D.  I suppose C and D could be true and I really wish A was true, but sadly, no. What happened? I've been diagnosed with a hyper-active thyroid.

Now before you start thinking "poor Jade," let me express that this condition is fully treatable, is genetic (my mom and aunts all have it as well as my sisters), and will really not cause more than a minor adjustment in my life once we get things under control.

Now you get to guess what my reaction was when we finally got the diagnosis.

A. OMG I'm going to DIE!
B. OMG I can't tell anyone! I've been bragging about how healthy I am. No one can know!
C. OMG, it's so damned hot in here! Did someone change the thermostat? I'm sweating to death!
D. So is that why I'm so distractible? Just this morning, while I was starting laundry, making breakfast, answering emails, and cleaning up the family room while making a list on eight different sheets of paper, I...oh look. I think it's time to paint the living room. I'll do that later this afternoon.
E. Squirrel!

Answer: All of the above.

I have alternately sulked, whined, and stomped around the house after this diagnosis. It's a childish reaction. Yes, I know that! But it still didn't prevent me from throwing myself many hyperactive pity parties. What's that you ask? Well, it's normal sulking that gets interrupted by a thousand other thoughts and so (A) never really gets going and (B) never really ends either.

In short, I suddenly have massive ADD. I can't sit still, I can't complete a normal conversation because my mind won't stay still for long (and it's not like I had a quiet mind to begin with), and I can't write coherent sentences. Don't even mention full paragraphs or more.

So what's the plan?

A. I plan to sulk right after I finish any one of the hundreds of half started projects about the house.
B. There are drug therapies and the like which will be started probably by the time your read this blog. But in the meantime, would you like to try this burned brownie I made while making pot holders and nailing together this artistic wood statue of random boards?
C. Coffee. Espresso. Ridilin? For the first time ever, I understand why speed seems to help ADD patients. Caffeine seems to settle my thyroid down (because something else is revving me up, so it doesn't have to). The only reason I can write this blog is because I'm on my second pot of coffee (after a latte).

D. Plan? Plan? I've got a million of them. WTF do you want from me?

Answer: All of the above. But have no fear, I'm learning how to manage my life. (I'm so glad there's a cafe within a mile of my house. I'm giving them lots of business!) And on the upside, I've lost seven pounds so far. And I have no trouble getting out of bed in the morning. It's the sleeping part that isn't happening.

In short, I'm doing good. I'm spazzy to the extreme, but that's okay. It gives me good insight into my hyperactive characters. Of which I will probably write a few. Actually, I've already written one in WEDDED IN SIN by Jade Lee. Samuel just can't stop thinking, thinking, thinking...until he meets Penny, of course. Then lots of cool things happen as he settles into a new norm. I'd give tantalizing examples, but I've been sitting down for almost five minutes. My thighs have begun to twitch. 
So buy the book and find out exactly what amazingly fun things happen while I go dig a garden or run a marathon or something...

Don't forge to visit my website: 


  1. I hope the meds work for you soon but I must admit I'm loving your sense of humor :)

  2. Hope things get back to normal soon Jade! Mine is the other way around, which has its own challenges. Thank goodness for modern medicine.

  3. Hmm...will you throw something at me if I say I already thought you were hyperactive? Blame it on the fact that I was hearing "Jade Lee rocks" in the back of my mind for weeks after seeing you at a conference, lol. Glad to see that it is something treatable and hope that you will get things down to a dull roar soon. (and I already suffer from the inability to focus on one thing at a time...)

  4. I'm glad you figured out what was going on and it is easily treatable. My thyroid is sluggy, so I'm on the opposite end. I hope you are feeling "normal" soon!

  5. Can I come visit your world? It sounds like so much fun. Yes, I'll help you build the artistic critter from wood scraps. I'll bring the inside roller that the toilet paper comes on. We can color it with crayons and glue them to the outside! On a serious, note, be well soon!

  6. LOL! A thoroughly enjoyable post. I can relate to the feelings, if not the situation. Hugs and hang in there!