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How to Unlock the Rules of Attraction

Romance writers dive into the realm of sexual attraction everyday. We play with it on the page, recreating real life sensual tension.

Subtle nuances are what make the difference. And the real life biggie?

People communicate most of what we mean non-verbally. Our body's language comes through tone of voice, eye direction, the slant of a shoulder, the direction of your feet...

You get the picture.

In fact, verbal communication accounts for only 7% of what we say to each other. Are you floored by that? I was. The more you look around, the more you find subtle clues to what's really going on with people.

Here are few:

#1) The Eyes Have It

You've probably heard expanded pupils indicate attraction.
Another interesting aspect of eyes and attraction is "the glance." A look longer than 2 seconds equals a level of interest (not necessarily sexual).

Another interesting eye fact - If you're in a room with a lot of people and hold eye contact with one person for at least 90 seconds, studies show you're going to like that person better than anyone else in the room. 

Why? You shared an emotional connection.

#2 The Vulnerable Neck (or is this a Vampire thing?)

Marilyn Monroe perfected this pose. Notice the exposed neck? The slight tilt of her head?

She's submitting to you. She's trusting you. She's letting you see a vulnerable spot.

What better way to flirt than to show trust with a delicate, erogenous zone?

#3 The Infamous "Boob Shoulder"

Yes, you read that right! Even a shoulder plays into the mating game.

Actress Natalie Dormer of Game of Thrones fame tosses a little flirtation with her shoulder.

This happens in the first stages of courtship before meeting. Women look at men sideways and raise their shoulder slightly upwards, symbolically making it appear like a breast to emphasize their femininity. If you look above, Marilyn's doing the same thing + the neck tease.

#4) Her Fingers or Mouth with a Cylindrical Object

This one is the "Teaser" and its all about sexual attraction. A woman will unconsciously treat any cylindrical object as a man's genitalia. You might see a woman rub her thumb and forefinger up and down the stem of a wine glass. Similarly, she might play with a dangly earring or a cigarette the same way.

In the example picture, the woman covers her flirtation bases with the teaser + the next and final item.

#5) The "Vagina Mouth" or Careful...You Might Catch Flies

When a woman starts licking her lips with some pouting and eye lowering, that's a strong sign of attraction. The open mouth signals invitation.

Ancient Egyptians believed there was a correlation between mouth lips and a woman's genital lips. Because a woman's genitals turn red when aroused, the Egyptians invented red lipstick to alert men to a sexually mature female. 

In puberty, the hormone estrogen changes a girls features, adding subcutaneous fat to make her lips fuller. We recognize this as a sign of fertility. Can you say collagen?

Another interesting fact centers around high heels and sexual fertility, but that's a subject for another blog. 

If you're interested in non-verbal subtleties in attraction, Meet the Earl at Midnight is full of them. 

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  1. Ooooo, good one. Love the examples and the pictures. Can't wait to read Meet the Earl at Midnight.

    1. Hi Michele,
      Isn't interesting the things we say even when we don't realize it? I hope you enjoy Meet the Earl at Midnight.
      have a great rest of your weekend-

  2. Wow, Gina, great post. Love the shoulder boob and looking sideways, very sexy. Best wishes.

    1. Hi Sally,
      I miss seeing you!! This was sure a fun post to write...lots ofjuicy tidbits. I'm glad you liked it and thanks for reading it.
      happy typing to you!

  3. Marilyn Monroe proves again that she is the queen of "come hither" poses. Great post!


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