Tuesday, August 19, 2014

How To Booklets

I loved Shana's blog post a couple of weeks ago where she gave the readers the first paragraph in a book! So I'm "borrowing" it for my post with a little bit of variation. Instead of the first lines, I'm choosing a paragraph somewhere in the book that has to do with the How To Booklets that played a big part in the book. They say there's no truer admiration than imitation so know that you are very admired for coming up with this idea, Miz Shana Galen.


This is from my book that was released six weeks ago, the final book in the Cowboys & Brides Series. You remember when I told y'all that these four very wealthy cowboys showed up in my virtual world and wanted me to write their stories and I told them NO SIR! And then they talked me into it with their sexy smiles and tight fittin' jeans. Well, this is the final cowboy, Mason Harper's story...the cowboy has had trouble moving on after his wife's death. And Annie Rose, the lady who shows up on his porch wearing a bridal gown and faking amnesia. This REALLY IS a romance and Annie Rose and Mason do have a lot of chemistry but there are these two little girls, twin daughters of Mason's that steal her heart even before Mason does.




Chapter One: “Gabby, come quick! Hot damn, Daddy done got us a new mama!”
The sound of a little girl’s running feet pounded through her head like a longhorn cattle stampede, and her eyes snapped open to see two little blonde girls with tangled hair flying out to the sides of their heads as they jumped up and down on the wooden porch, giving Annie Rose the mother of all headaches. The bright morning sun rising above the trees out there on the horizon stung so bad that she frowned and quickly shut them, hoping that it was all be a bizarre nightmare.




Chapter Two...the first booklet arrives:
She sat down in the rocking chair and looked at the booklet. They’d taken a sheet of notebook paper, cut it into four ragged edge pieces and stapled them together. The title, How to Remember, was written on the outside in bright red marker and had several cat stickers attached to it.
She opened it and read the steps.
Number 1: Lay down on your bed with your head on the pillow.
Number 2: Shut your eyes real, real tight and don’t open them.
Number 3: Now put your fingers in your ears so you can’t hear anything.
Number 4: Think real, real hard.
Number 5: Lily says that if that don’t work, say, “Well, shit!” and to start all over again. It worked when she couldn’t remember where she put her favorite bracelet.




Chapter Six:
It wasn’t her How to Remember booklet but a brand new one with stickers of horses, cows and even goats and cats scattered among the words on the front: How to be a Rancher.
She opened it up to find the steps outlined in Gabby’s hand writing.
Number one: You got to love animals but you got to never let your kids bring goats into the house. Not even if they fight with you and use cuss words. Goats stink.
Number two: You got to wear jeans and boots. Lily says that since you already do that you are doing good.
Number three: You got to like living in the country. Ranchers don’t live in big towns with taxis and hotels like those places on television.
Number four: You got to know that dirt sticks to boots and sometimes it comes in the house.
Lily says there’s other rules but we are tired and that’s all for tonight. We love you Mama-Nanny.



Chapter Seventeen: The title on the front of the third booklet said How to Be a Mommy. She said down in her recliner and smiled as she opened it.
Number one: First you got to get kids. You can’t be a mommy without kids. It just ain’t possible.
Number two: Twins are the best kind of kids because only kids like Damian are little shits. Lily said that Mama-Nanny so if anyone gets in trouble for bad words, it’s got to be her.
Number three: Girl twins are better than boy twins. Two of Damian would make the angels and even God shudder.
Number four: You got to love the kids to be a good mommy. We think that you love us almost as much as we love you so you will make a good mommy.
Number five: A good mommy would never put her girls in a school room where Damian was or where his mommy was a teacher, neither one.
We love you Mama-Nanny.



And there is a fourth how to booklet that I'm going to share with those of you who do not mind a spoiler. Its from chapter twenty six: Like his daughters, Mason wrote in the same style. The normal rule program was all lined out for her but evidently this was more important than learning how to remember, how to be a mama and how to be a rancher since there were more rules than in the other books.
Number one: You’ve got to run slow enough that the cowboy can catch you.
Number two: You have to go buy a new wedding dress because the one you got is all dirty and torn up.
Number three: You have to get married in the church or the cowboy’s twin daughters won’t believe that it’s legal.
Number four: You will have to kiss him in front of everyone in the church including aforementioned daughters after the preacher says that you are married.
Number five: You have to say “I do” when the preacher tells you to or else Damian’s mama might call you a slut and it’s not proper to get tickled when you are the bride at a wedding.
Number six: After you marry the cowboy, you have to move upstairs and sleep with him. He snores but not too loud.

So what do you think, folks? Which booklet do you like the best? I'll chose one winner from the comments today and give them their choice of a Kindle copy of the book or a signed paperback copy. All you have to do is leave a comment and you can read all the words that surround those how-to booklets! And thanks again, Shana for the idea!








20 comments:

  1. LOL Those made me giggle but I'd have to say booklet 4 is the best! I can't wait to read this now!

    thebigbluewall77 (at) gmail (dot) com

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    1. Thank you Anita! Those little girls and Mason worked hard on them!

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  2. Those are cute. Chapter 6 made me laugh out loud though so I`d pick that one. Definitely interested in seeing how all the booklets came about!

    ahui89 at hotmail dot com

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    1. Ada, the girls were afraid that Annie wouldn't stick around if she didn't learn how to be a rancher and there's a very good reason for that rule about goats in the house!

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  3. How fun! I really liked chapter two. I laughed out loud . And I'm sure I borrowed this idea from someone else, Carolyn. Borrow away!

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    1. Thank you, Shana! Those twins had to make sure that Annie knew how to do things right!

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  4. I totally laughed out loud with the "How to Remember" one! Love these. :)
    lattebooks at hotmail dot com

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    1. Thanks Susan! Those girls were very afraid at that moment that she wouldn't remember marrying Mason the night before which would mean she couldn't be their new mama!

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  6. chapter 6

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

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    1. Thanks for stopping by bn100! Glad that you liked chapter six!

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  7. So hard to pick but The first and last were two favorites although I really liked them all!

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    1. Thank you catslady! They were a lot of fun to write!

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  8. Shanda Fulton-RaderAugust 19, 2014 at 2:43 PM

    I love all your books, but this one had me laughing my butt off. Those little girls thinking their dad got them a mommy was great. Thanks for all the books you write.

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    1. Thank you, thank you! Those twins did play their part in getting Mason and Annie together, didn't they?

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  9. Chapter 17 & 26,but they are all great! :)
    Thank you Carolyn :)

    bubacka07@outlook.com

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    1. Bube, I'm glad that you liked them! I wonder if we could market those how to booklets!

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  10. The How to be a Mommy is my favorite, but Mason's How To runs a CLOSE second!!

    Kellijo23 @ gmail . com

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    1. Thank you for stopping by, Kelli Jo! Glad that you liked the booklets!

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  11. Thank you to everyone who stopped by today to visit! I appreciate each and every comment. Susan P is the winner of the contest. I'll be contacting you this evening Susan to see if you want a Kindle copy or a paperback copy of the book. See y'all next month!

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