Saturday, June 28, 2014

How to Say Good-Bye

You know the saying that's supposed to make change easier?

When one door closes, another one opens

That's a good one and so true, but I need one to carry me through the transition time.

I've lived in southern California all my life (except for two brief periods eons ago). Now, my family is moving cross country. We're excited about this move, yet...

We're leaving the only home my youngest son has ever known. We're leaving with a high school student in the middle of high school. We're leaving a home that has been the longest I've ever lived in one place (13 years).

But, we're gaining a lot in the process.

Our boys have surprised us with their cheerful willingness to roll up their sleeves and pitch in with the undesirable tasks (cleaning a barbeque inside and out...and not a single complaint).

My husband and I have figured out quickly what's important and what's not.

This one makes me laugh: We've also learned out how to argue in shorthand and get over things quickly. There's nothing like having to go through all your stuff to decide what's a keeper and what's not. Those can be eye-opening to individual priorities.

The other big surprise?

I will miss the ocean. There've been some long walks and talks with a writer friend of mine. There've been moments of story inspiration while staring at the water. There've been lots of ocean swims, but I'm selling my wetsuit.

Another pleasant revelation?

I've had some of the longest, deepest conversations with my sons...accompanied by skipping stones with my youngest son in the Pacific Ocean. It's almost like we needed this transition to stop and realize our little boys aren't so little anymore.

Case in point: My husband taught my oldest how to shave this month. But, I promised him I wouldn't post pictures of that.

He wouldn't mind me sharing this latest photo. My oldest son is a blacksmith, and he made an iron candlestick holder that I reference in my next book, The Lady Meets Her Match.

During this transition, we had to make sure we connected our boys with their passions in the new community. In one enthusiastic moment, we even said we'd build a forge on the new property!

And skipping stones? We'll give one of the Great Lakes a test run.

By embracing this change, I've learned what little I need to be truly happy. To my husband's chagrin, I own a lot of books...keepers...all of them. Memories at least are easy to pack and warm your heart.

Thanks for letting me share this.

Now it's your turn. Have you gone through any changes or transitions lately? What wisdom carried you through that time?  And did you have any surprise revelations you want to share?


  1. Warm story. Best wishes with your new home and your new life there for all of you.


  2. When we moved to this house 35 years ago, we had already moved 21 times in 13 years so I took up squatter's rights and it didn't take me long to realize that I had to clean closets and cabinets if I wasn't moving once or twice a year!

  3. Aw, I can understand the feelings there. I can assure you that the Great Lakes are phenomenal for stone skipping. (We live in MI) I wish you the best in making fun new memories in your new spot!

  4. Good luck with the're going to someplace with seasons, lol. I'm a SoCal gal myself so I can't imagine living somewhere that has truly cold weather. I am sure you are going to find lots of new places and experiences to enrich your life and I wish you a smooth transition!