Monday, April 7, 2014

The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off Launch!

Welcome to
Bless My Bloomers.

And welcome back to Cadillac, Texas where the jalapenos are fiery but not as hot as the gossip. We're having a party today to celebrate the launch of The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off!
Who would have ever thought that the story of a pair of red satin bikini under britches would turn into a book? It's amazing, I tell you, just flat out amazing!

Y'all come right on in and meet the owners, Carlene, Alma Grace and Patrice. Josie is in the back room sewing up more lingerie but she won't mind you going on back there to meet her, too. Yes, ma'am, we do have those little corsets in plus sizes.

Agnes has been dancin' a jig on Main Street every time a new review arrives. She says we have to post a few of them even if it does seem like tacky self promotion. Her opinion is when one passes their sixtieth birthday they eat anything they want, say anything they want and do anything they want and it's not illegal, immoral or fattening. And since Agnes is the person who keeps Violet, the head she-coon in Cadillac, from getting too much power, I do tend to let her have her way.


“A fun romp through the world of the dignified South, where a group of women opening a lingerie shop is only slightly less scandalous than a woman divorcing... a cheating jerk of a spouse.” - Calliope’s Reviews and Stitching News

“The characters are vibrant and engaging, the story is endearingly off beat and full of down home folksy charm. A wonderfully heartwarming and highly entertaining novel.” - Book Reviews and More By Kathy

“Fun, fresh and hilarious... The author showed that laughter is the best medicine and a sure fire cure for the toughest of challenges in life.” - Chick Lit Reviews

“With a cast of characters that will leave readers grinning, Brown’s latest is delightful, humorous “chick lit”... Fun, fun and more fun is on hand in a story that wins a blue ribbon in both originality and wit. 4 Stars” - RT Book Reviews

Gigi, Tansy and Sugar, the three mamas in The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off are the ones who are determined to make the prize winning pot of chili. There is one little problem...none of them can cook or even use a can opener for that matter. But bless their hearts, they do give it their best and the chili they take to the cook-off does have some fire in it. Tansy has been loving all the fan mail that mentions a favorite quote and wants to see them printed on the napkins for this launch party. She is a psychic and says that The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off is going to do really well so I'm not going to cross her either.
"Some men are just born stupid. Some don't get infected until later in life, but they'll all get a case of it sometime. It's in their DNA and that can't be helped."

"I need a drink, a cupcake and sex in that order."

"Honey, experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. And every experience in life gets us ready for what's comin' at us in the future. So don't count it as wasted. Count it as lesson learned and, next time around, learn from it and maybe you'll get what you wanted all along."

"Violet don't have any idea when to shut her mouth. I swear that woman's got a magic mirror in her house and when she looks in it she sees Marilyn Monroe or Betty Boop instead of an old, chubby woman who's trying to outrun wrinkles and age."

"Lenny should have been drowned at birth."

Josie says we really need to give y'all a little excerpt so you can see what set the wheels to turning with this idea of women entering the cook-off when up to now it's belonged to the men of Cadillac, Texas. I'm not arguing with her either since she did help Carlene get through the divorce ordeal. 
Some men are just born stupid. Some don’t get infected until later in life but they’ll all get a case of it sometime. It’s in their DNA and can’t be helped.
Carlene could testify with her right hand raised to God and the left on the good Book that her husband, Lenny, had been born with the disease and it had worsened with the years. Proof was held between her thumb and forefinger like a dead rat in the form of a pair of bikini underwear. They damn sure didn’t belong to her. Hells bells she couldn’t get one leg in those tiny little things. And they did not belong to Lenny, either. Even if he had become an overnight cross dresser, his ass wouldn’t fit into that skimpy pair of under britches, not even if he greased himself down with bacon drippings.
They were bright red with a sparkling sequin heart sewn on the triangular front. They’d come with a matching corset with garter straps and fishnet hose. Carlene recognized them because she’d designed the outfit herself at her lingerie shop, Bless My Bloomers. They belonged to a petite, size-four brunette with big brown eyes who had giggled and pranced like a little girl when she saw herself in the mirror wearing the get-up.
Carlene jumped and dropped them back into Lenny’s briefcase when her cell phone rang. The ring tone said it was Lenny but she was still speechless, staring at the scrap of satin in her hand.
She dropped to her knees on the carpet and bent forward into a tight ball. She felt as if someone had kicked her firmly in the gut and she couldn’t breathe. In a few seconds she managed a sitting position, wrapped her arms around her midsection and sucked in air but it burned her lungs. The noise that came forth from her chest sounded like a wounded animal caught in a trap. Tears would have washed some of the pain away but they wouldn’t flow from her burning eyes. Finally, she got control of the dry heaves and managed to pull herself up out of the heap of despair. Dear God what was she going to do?
The brunette who’d bought the red-satin outfit had told her that she and her sugar daddy were going to Vegas and she wanted something that would make him so hot he’d be ready to buy her an engagement ring. What was her name? Bailey? Brenda? No something French because Carlene remembered asking her about it. Bridget…that was it! Bridget had been to Vegas with Lenny. On how many other trips had he taken a bimbo with him and how many of them had been ten or fifteen years younger and a size four—for God’s sake?
In seconds, the phone rang again. She picked it up and said, “Hello.” Her voice sounded like it was coming from the bottom of a well or maybe, a sewer pipe.
“Carlene, I left my briefcase in my office. I slept on the sofa to keep from waking you since I got in so late last night. Bring it to me before you go to work and hurry. There’s a contract in it that briefcase that I need and the people will be here to sign in ten minutes. I’ll hold them off with coffee until you get here.”

No goodbye.
No thank you, darlin’.
Not even a please.
Did he talk to Bridget like that?
Anger joined shock and pain as she dropped the panties back in the briefcase and then removed the little card she’d made for him to find that morning. She’d written that she was sorry she had fallen asleep before he got home and that she’d make it up to him that night with champagne and wild sex.

She stood up, straightening to her full height of just under the six foot mark. Damn that sorry bastard to hell. How could he do this to her?
Ripping the note into confetti sized pieces and throwing them in the air did nothing to appease her anger. Dozens of questions ran in circles through her mind. Had Lenny brought his twenty-something year old bimbo to her house for a romp on her bed while she was at work? Did that sorry sucker have sex with his mistress at noon and then with his wife that same night? Just how long had the affair been going on anyway?
Among them all was one solid answer. She was not living in the same house with a lying, cheating, two-timing son-of-a-bitch. She was leaving his ass and nothing or no one could convince her to stay another night under the same roof with him.

Enough of this speechifyin'. Let's get on to the food that's been provided by Clawdy's Café and the champagne which the fathers brought in to toast this launch party. Thank you to everyone in Cadillac who made this possible today. On a final note I do need to remind everyone that we're right in the middle of a recipe blog tour where we're asking everyone to comment with their favorite recipe or maybe even a link to it if they don't want to type out the whole thing. Since this is all about a chili cook-off, I'd like to hear what your favorite chili recipe is and what's the most unusual ingredient in it. Our prize winning chili at the cook off has a Hershey bar in it! I'll give away a signed copy of both of the Cadillac books...The Blue Ribbon Jalapeno Society Jubilee AND The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off to one lucky reader and the contest is open to everyone whether you live in Texas or across one of the big ponds.

Okay, okay! the ladies are all yelling at me not to forget to remind you of the rest of the tour so you can collect the recipes and get your name in the red boot for more giveaways!


  1. Great reviews! I can just imagine Agnes dancing a jig :-)

    1. Agnes does tend to get happy when there's mischief brewing and if there is no mischief then Agnes sets about stirring something up! Thank you Shana for stopping by!

  2. Sounds like a cute book.

    1. Thank you! There's lots going on in Cadillac, just like most small towns where everyone knows everyone and everyone also knows what everyone else is doing!

  3. I'm always ready for a red hot chili cookoff!

    1. Thank you, Terry! This one gets pretty hot but then so does the chili...the mamas serve ice cream with it because it is so hot!

  4. Nothing like some steamy hot chili for a bunch of sassy women. Hmm sounds like us Carolyn! Loved this read so much! I love my chili so hot it make your nose run. My secret ingredient is jalapeño juice, the more the hotter. Add a sprinkle of cheese and some crackers. Might just cook some tonight.

    1. Hey, Kim...thank you for stopping by. Betcha Agnes and the ladies at Bless My Bloomers wish they'd have had your recipe when they were trying to find the perfect one!

  5. Congratulations on the new release, Carolyn! I love chili cook-offs.

    1. Thank you Victory! Chili cook-offs can be a lot of fun. Agnes and the ladies from Bless My Bloomers sure had a great time at the one in Cadillac!

  6. What fun read to wake up to this morning, Carolyn. I love your character's take on life, men, and aging. You gave me a nice laugh this morning.

    1. Hi, Miz Gina! The characters sure kept me on my toes in the Cadillac series. Glad they gave you a giggle or two!

  7. Hi Carolyn! You've got some great lines in there! Congrats on the new release. Here's my chili recipe. Don't know how unusual it is, but I like to spice it up with Tabasco Chipotle sauce!

    Cheryl's Tummy Warming Chili

    1 lb 14 oz can light red kidney beans
    1 lb 12 oz can diced tomatoes; pureed
    1 tsp salt
    1 lb very lean hamburger
    2 cloves garlic; diced
    1 tsp sugar
    1 bay leaf
    7 or 8 dashes of Tabasco Chipotle sauce (or more if you want some serious heat!)
    3 tbsp Mexene chili powder
    1 large onion; chopped
    1 jalapeno; seeded and diced
    2 tbsp butter
    3 oz spaghetti broken into thirds or 1 cup of any other pasta or macaroni you choose

    Melt butter in large soup pot and saute onions until transparent. Add hamburger and cook until browned. Add all other ingredients except pasta and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Then add pasta and cook another fifteen minutes, stirring every 5 minutes. Serve topped with grated cheese and enjoy!

    1. Cheryl, I betcha my family would love this chili recipe especially with macaroni in it. Thank you for sharing and for stopping by today! Agnes says to add lots of that hot sauce and she'll be sure that Violet gets a big bowl full!

  8. Congrats! Sounds like a fun read. I love the quotes.

    1. Thank you, Jane. I have to give credit to my wonderful characters for those quotes!

  9. Nice excerpt
    Like this recipe

    bn100candg at hotmail dot com

    1. Thank you bn100 for stopping by and visiting today and for sharing your recipe!

  10. I have to admit, I don't like chili. I do love to read about chili cook-offs and stolen pots... :)

    1. Kelly Jo...oh, yes, that was a funny scene, especially when the skunk came around to add his own special donation to the pots wasn't it? Thank you so much for joining us!

  11. Carolyn, you've done it again. Just when you think things in Cadillac can't get any funnier or zanier, they do. You have another wonderful hit on your hands with this one. Wishing you continued success and eagerly awaiting the next bit of gossip from Cadillac. You can find my thoughts on The Red-Hot Chili Cook-Off here -

  12. Mason, thank you for the awesome review on The Red Hot Chili Cook Off. The whole cast of characters was hollerin' and whistlin' so loud they almost brought the cops out to see what was goin' on around here!

  13. Mr. Random has chosen a number and Victoria Roberts is the winner. If you will email me your address to, I'll put your books in the mail this week! CONGRATULATIONS!