Monday, February 20, 2012

Love Is In The Air

I have to admit to not being a huge Valentines Day fan. List me among those who don't believe you need just one day out of the year to "feel the love". My husband always gets me flowers on Valentines Day, and sometimes we go out for dinner, sometimes we stay in and make a nice meal (steak and lobster were on the menu this year), but it's really not a "big" day for either of us.

Our daughter is about to turn 13 and she's just getting into the whole puberty/hormones/falling in love thing. This year a boy gave her her first real Valentines Day gift and she's been struggling with how to react to it. On one hand she feels funny and unsure about the whole thing. She likes him, but now she knows he likes her too so she's nervous. On the other, she's giddy and excited as any middle school girl would be. And as we've been talking to her about relationships and boys and what to expect/look for, I've been reminded of how unimportant Valentines Day is in the grand scheme of things.

For me, it's the little things my husband does throughout the year that make me love him. Not because he went out of his way one day a year to do something special for me. It's the fact that after twenty years he still opens the doors for me, that when we're sitting on a plane about to take off, he always reaches over and tugs on my seatbelt to make sure I'm secure. It's the fact he brings me tea every morning, gets up with the kids and the dogs on Saturdays so I can sleep in, and makes sure he calls every night when he's traveling on business to tell me he loves me, no matter what else he's doing. And then there are the things he does for me that I know he hates--like sitting through yet another Lord of the Rings movie marathon because I want to watch it (again), or going shopping on a Saturday during college football season.

My husband is very open with our daughter, and he's working hard to make sure she understands that how a boy treats a girl every day of the year is more important than what he does for her on one holiday. Candy and cards, flowers and dinner out are nice, but they're not what matters most. Those of us who read (and write) romance novels already know this. Imagine what the world would be like if everyone did.

What are the little things that matter most for you?




7 comments:

  1. This was a great post! I agree completely. It's about the day to day expressions of affection, respect and love that matter in the long run.

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  2. Yes, ma'am! It's nice to have a cup of coffee set very quietly beside my computer in the morning. It's really nice to have the laundry started and breakfast on the table while I get a headstart on my day's work. I hope your daughter respects you both enough to listen really well when you talk to her about the things that matter most! She'll be a happy, well adjusted young lady if she does.

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  3. So many little things! When my husband helps me get my daughter dressed (I don't know why she thinks it's so funny to fight it), when he takes my dinner out of the microwave for me, or takes the trash out without being asked. Those little things mean so much to me.

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  4. If a person is going to find their way to my inner circle in any capacity, they have to "get" how much solitude I need, and they have to understand that my day job (representing abused and neglected children) is part of the reason. Know when to leave me in peace, know when all I need is a quiet hug, and we're good.

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  5. We're the same about Valentine's Day at our house, it's not a big deal. We went to dinner (just to get away from the kids) but DH and I do things for each other every day. He makes me coffee every morning before he leaves for work even though he doesn't drink any of it (which I totally don't get, I mean, how does one function enough to drive without coffee?) He does the laundry, cleans the house, he's the best dad I've ever known and best of all he puts up with me--not an easy feat.

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  6. I totally agree - it's the little things done every day that really mean so much. My husband does things to help around the house so I can have time to write - I will always appreciate that!

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  7. The little things that I treasure include having the television broadcasting through the headphones when I am trying to sleep or dealing with a headache, turning on the electric blanket before I come to bed...or making a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows late at night while I am typing away on the computer!

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