Wednesday, January 18, 2012

New Beginnings means Change, By Kathryne Kennedy

As a writer, I deal with change in my stories all of the time. Usually, my hero and heroine are not right for each other at the beginning of a book. They need to change in order to earn their happily-ever-after. But change is difficult, so I have to force them to do so by putting them into difficult situations that will challenge them emotionally—and since I write adventurous fantasy—physically, as well.

But I’m pulling all of the strings. In order to have a new beginning, there must be change, and in real life, that’s the toughest thing to do.

First, there has to be a realization for the need to change…sometimes just recognizing the need will take you halfway there. There’s an old adage that I love: You can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expect different results.

So. Am I happy? Is my life taking the direction I want it to? Now, realistically, no one can be happy one-hundred-percent of the time. But people should be happy most of the time…life is just too short. So if I’m not as happy as I want to be, maybe it’s time for a change this year. For most people, it’s not so much the situation that causes unhappiness, but the people that surround them. They impact your mental and emotional state. If I take a look at those people closest to me I have to ask: Do they make me feel good about myself? Do they help me to see the positives in my life? If not, maybe it’s time for a change.

In my books, I often force my protagonists to see those around them in a new light, and the changes they make are often leaps. But this is so hard, especially when I may not have a choice about who surrounds me. So it’s often easier to make little changes at a time. Perhaps I need to spend a little less time with anyone who’s a negative influence on my life. And by paying less attention to what they say to me.

It’s also easy to get stuck in a routine. Sometimes what you know is preferable to the fear of the unknown. But I can seek out new situations and people who do make me feel good, and slowly include them in my circle. I can be alert to new opportunities. It’s surprising how easy it is to find them by just being open to them. I can start small. Decide on one person or situation in my life to change, and then take baby steps to make it happen. It will empower me with a sense of control that will help me to make even more changes.

And then I’ll be on the road to my own happily-ever-after.

Until Next Time,

Kathryne

This post is dedicated to my niece, and anyone seeking a new beginning this year.

13 comments:

  1. As writers we are used to having the power to move ahead at a good clip.
    In real life sometimes it's those slow steps and baby steps that cause us to halt forward movement.
    Change and new beginnings often go together...more about that in my blog later in the month.

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  2. Nice post, Kathryn. I hope your niece sees it.

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  3. Wonderful blog, Kathryne. You are so right about the people around us influencing us. Years ago, my pastor identified two people that were close to me as "emotional vampires". As hard as it was to accept, I realized that she was absolutely correct.

    Learning how to deal with those that unintentionally emotionally drain us and zap our energy is a life-lesson I'm still working on. :)

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  4. Well said, Kathyrne. Somebody once told me, "When you're facing a big change, take it on a little bit at a time around people who support you." That's still good advice. It probably describes most happy childhoods, successful marriages, productive transitions, and healthy friendships.

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  6. i'm so agree with your post Kathryne and i'm trying to change too this year ;)

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  7. Hi Carolyn! I'll look forward to reading your post!

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  8. Hi Shana! I posted the link to her wall on Facebook. :}

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  9. Hi C.H.! I hear you. It's taken me a while to realize that people can drain you, much less the thought that I had the power to change it.

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  10. Hi Grace! Wise words. I think writers especially need to be surrounded by supportive people. Our writing makes us vulnerable in unique ways.

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  11. Hi Eli! Best wishes to you...it's hard to change...take those baby steps. :}

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  12. Great observations! I have been dealing with major emotional repercussions over the past year and am looking forward to the year as a new start. Thank you for sharing your wisdom.

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  13. I love the 'New Beginnings' post - very wise words. Without change we would all become so stagnant and dull. We all want positive changes and the strength to weather the negative ones. Can't wait for your next novel LORD OF ILLUSIONS!

    Cheers!
    Amy Harlib in NYC
    aharlib@earthlink.net

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