Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Hexy Thanksgiving

“I don’t know if three turkeys will be enough,” Blair said, surveying the kitchen counters covered with roasting pans, mixing bowls, and various pots and pans on the stove. “Trust me, Jake eats a lot. There are all you can eat buffets that won’t let us come back.”

“And you demolishing the desert table doesn’t have something to do with that? The turkeys are twenty-six pounds apiece. We’ll be fine.” Stasi covered the sweet potatoes with marshmallows and popped them into the hot oven so they could brown. She paused long enough to sneak a treat to Bogie who barked his thanks and floated toward his soft and comfy bed.

“You did use cream and real butter in the mashed potatoes, didn’t you?” Irma wandered in with Phinneas, her spectral beau, in tow. “It’s what gives them the proper taste.” She heaved a deep sigh. “I miss eating.” She glared at Jazz. “You could let me change my wardrobe, but not allow me to eat? Get working on that spell, missy.”

“Yeah, like that’ll happen,” Jazz muttered.

“It’s a good thing we all have metabolisms that burn up all the extra calories and cholesterol.” Blair set the rolls on a cookie sheet.

“I brought the pies,” Maggie walked into the kitchen. She laughed her friends’ expressions of horror. “From my favorite bakery,” she assured them. It was a known fact the blonde witch’s culinary skills were on the same level as Jazz’s … none. “Four pumpkin, two mince, and one pecan. And …” She opened a pink bakery box to reveal five extra large custard filled éclairs topped with decadent chocolate frosting. For later, she mouthed.

“Ah, I see a lovely corner for moi.” Maggie’s diamond encrusted black widow spider tattoo skittered off the witch’s shoulder and headed up the wall. She pulled a tiny netbook out of a hidden pocket and began her web surfing.

“Where’re the guys?” Maggie asked, perching on the counter.

“Where else? It’s Thanksgiving Day so that means football,” Stasi said. “If we’re lucky we’ll be able to drag them away from the TV long enough to eat.”

“All you have to do is try it,” Jazz coaxed, leading Nick into the kitchen. “It’s not that bad.”

“How would you know? Have you tasted it?” The tall vampire followed her with a wary look on his face. “Plus, did you have to drag me away now? I’ve got money riding on this game.”

“Jazz, you’re not!” Blair and Stasi protested, aware what their witchy friend had in mind.

“It’s a great way for Nick to feel like he’s a part of the dinner,” Jazz argued.

“A glass of wine is just fine with me.” He started to edge his way out of the estrogen-filled room, but his witch’s firm hold on his wrist wouldn’t allow it, thanks to magick increasing her strength. No way she was letting him escape now. She used her other hand to pull a container out of the refrigerator.

“I’ve read fiction books where they come up with special blends. So why not this?” She dumped the contents in the blender and fired it up. She poured a little bit of the thick mixture into a glass and offered it to Nick who reared back as if she held a ball of fire.

“That smells terrible! What’s in it?”

Jazz looked into the glass but seemed to hold her breath. “Pureed turkey and cow’s blood.”

That was what you put in our refrigerator?” Stasi cried. “Jazz!”

Blair and Maggie gagged at the idea.

“It’s not like I put bits of an entire dinner in there.” She held the glass toward Nick who kept backing away with his hands up. “Although I did think of adding some potatoes and green bean casserole.”

“Wine only,” he stated.

“Nikolai Gregorivich I made this for you and you will drink it!” She glared at him.

That was when Nick disappeared in the wink of an eye.

“I cooked for you!” Jazz shouted into thin air. She picked up the blender and headed for the sink.

"There is no way you're dumping it in there," Blair told her. "Take it outside and bury it."

“Wait a minute.” Horace grabbed it out of Jazz's hands and downed the contents. A loud belch followed. ‘Eh, I’ve had better.”

Which goes to show a gargoyle will eat anything if it’s Thanksgiving.


  1. You just gotta love Horace! Great story, Linda!

  2. Cute post, Linda.

    I guess I had never given a lot of thought to the subject of what gargoyles eat.

    But it's nice to know they have Thanksgiving too.

  3. Hey, even gargoyles need to celebrate Thanksgiving! (Just leave the turkey skin for me.)

    First snowstorm of the season is upon us in southern MN today. I attempted to drive to my RWA chapter meeting, but there was already 4" on the ground, plows hadn't been through yet, 4 wheel drive was dodgy and visibility sucked. I made it one mile, then turned around. Forecasts call for a foot, so it's a snowbound day for me, making crockpot chili, catching up on "What Not To Wear" and working on TASTE ME layout pages!

  4. Never thought about gargoyles eating. Very interesting!

  5. Horace is one of my favorites, Cheryl, although we don't let Fluff and Puff know.

    MM, gargoyles have a specialized diet. Horace eats whatever he can get his claws on.

    Tamara, Horace would probabaly want the bones more. I love What Not To Wear!

    Anita, Horace is a law onto himself. Always best not to get between him and food.

  6. Horace can come clean out my 'fridge anytime he wants. I'll even let him use my blender and not fuss about the cow's blood! And a very Happy Thanksgiving to him.

  7. You don't have to be a vampire to disappear when the dishes need doing, just fast. I've served more than one holiday meal on paper plates, myself. Suppose Horace would probably eat those too.

  8. Carolyn, the fridge could disappear too. If Fluff and Puff show up have some licorice root for them. They'll behave for that.

    Grace, how true! Although hubby is pretty good about helping. The good thing about Horace is you don't have to worry about trash. :}

  9. Wonderful story, Linda! Thanks for the laughs!

  10. LOL, poor Nick! But you can't fault Jazz for trying. Her heart was in the right place.

    Too bad I didn't have Horace around when my kid was doing those science experiments for school. He'd probably have loved the cow's eyes :-)

  11. Thanks Robin and Olivia. It shows the witches enjoy their holidays too.

    Lynda, can you honestly imagine Horace helping out Laura?