I live in an abundance of chaos. I’m not the most organized person around (okay, those of you who know me can stop laughing hysterically at that understatement now). Still, I managed pretty well before two kids with special needs, six cats, and two ill-behaved dogs. Nowadays I’m lucky if I can walk through all the rooms in my house without having to step over things, I spend half my time hunting for my keys, glasses, the book I want, or anything else, and let’s not even go into finding two matching shoes (see ‘ill-behaved dog’ and ‘teenage daughter’). My desk would be a lovely place to work if it weren’t piled high with papers, books, and everything somebody can’t find a better place for. My house is such a mess that I hate having anyone see it. Did I mention that both kids have ADD and are virtual hurricanes who constantly drop things in their paths?
Some days my inability to manage the chaos drives me nuts, and the state of the house makes me want to tear my hair out. It’s really easy to fall into thinking I’m a failure because I can’t even manage to keep my house clean. But then I look at a magnet on the refrigerator. My husband gave it to me for Christmas several years ago, and it says, “A clean house is a sign of a wasted life.”
Then I remember the flip side of chaos, and for me, that’s creativity. It’s that same lack of self-discipline that sends me off into imaginary worlds populated with fascinating characters. It lets me not trip over the video games sprawled across the floor when two of my characters are having an argument in my head. It’s also why I’ve been known to make homemade brownies for dinner and serve them with rice cakes and cheese so that everybody gets a little nourishment with their chocolate. And you know something? I like having brownies for dinner!
So, all in all, I think I’ll keep my abundance of chaos. I’m sure that when I’m on my deathbed, my greatest regret in life is NOT going to be that I didn’t keep my house clean enough. Now, if I could only find that other shoe….