Back by popular demand!! Another pitch session with me!
This time, I'm asking for ONLY the pitch for your HOOK.
Pitches should look like this:
[Subgenre]
Example: historical/paranormal romance trilogy
[2-4 sentence hook]
Example: Regency England is the glittering backdrop for the noble and the undead, where the gentlemen vampires are high sticklers. They would never bite a young lady to whom they had not been properly introduced! The first book features battle-born Scottish witch Blaire whose fearsome powers don't help her at all when she falls in love with charming vampire Lord James Kettering, until the pair discover the power of love to re-awaken even the deadest of hearts...
[author history]
Example: Lydia Dare is a bestselling writing team with 4 paranormal historical romances being published.
Another example: X is a debut author with 5 unpublished manuscripts written.
Another example: Y is a multi-published author of 9 books and 3 novellas with top e-book publishers.
Private pitches (to my email address deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com) will only get a "yea" or "nay" response--only public pitches will get any form of critique.
All critiques will be done by Friday, September 3.
BRING THEM ON!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT Y'ALL ARE UP TO!
PS You may also send full submissions to me directly at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
Please send full synopsis and full manuscript.
I am looking for:
*single title romance in all subgenres
*about 90,000 words
*series and trilogies: please give me a paragraph or two on each of the next few books
Editorial criteria:
*a heroine the reader can relate to
*a hero she can fall in love with
*a world gets created
*a hook I can sell with in 2-3 sentences
*the author has a career arc (in other words, if the readers love this book, what do we sell them next, and next, and next?)
This time, I'm asking for ONLY the pitch for your HOOK.
Pitches should look like this:
[Subgenre]
Example: historical/paranormal romance trilogy
[2-4 sentence hook]
Example: Regency England is the glittering backdrop for the noble and the undead, where the gentlemen vampires are high sticklers. They would never bite a young lady to whom they had not been properly introduced! The first book features battle-born Scottish witch Blaire whose fearsome powers don't help her at all when she falls in love with charming vampire Lord James Kettering, until the pair discover the power of love to re-awaken even the deadest of hearts...
[author history]
Example: Lydia Dare is a bestselling writing team with 4 paranormal historical romances being published.
Another example: X is a debut author with 5 unpublished manuscripts written.
Another example: Y is a multi-published author of 9 books and 3 novellas with top e-book publishers.
Private pitches (to my email address deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com) will only get a "yea" or "nay" response--only public pitches will get any form of critique.
All critiques will be done by Friday, September 3.
BRING THEM ON!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE WHAT Y'ALL ARE UP TO!
PS You may also send full submissions to me directly at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
Please send full synopsis and full manuscript.
I am looking for:
*single title romance in all subgenres
*about 90,000 words
*series and trilogies: please give me a paragraph or two on each of the next few books
Editorial criteria:
*a heroine the reader can relate to
*a hero she can fall in love with
*a world gets created
*a hook I can sell with in 2-3 sentences
*the author has a career arc (in other words, if the readers love this book, what do we sell them next, and next, and next?)
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance
ReplyDeletePITCH: After six years and four hundred miles of separation, sexy rancher Mitch Landry is ready to pick up where he and Olivia Montgomery left off until he discovers they have a son—a son whose existence kept secret from him, even by his parents. All ideals of love, loyalty and family are shattered in the face of this ultimate betrayal. For the sake of their child, Mitch and Olivia must learn to tread the narrow space separating love and trust from hurt and suspicion.
Author: Cynthia D'Alba is a debut author with numerous contest finals and wins.
THE KNOWING: Women’s Fiction with romantic, paranormal and mystery elements—94,000
ReplyDeleteNot everyone can stay sane watching murder through the eyes of the killer, feeling him kill. Desperate to stop the visions, Nia flees to the sun and surf of Honolulu, and straight to the scene of murder #4. Things turn ugly when the police tag her as a "person of interest," and then ignite when she falls for the killer’s defense attorney—the only man who's twitched her hormones in far too long. Not that she'll succumb. To the man defending a cold-blooded killer? Oh no, not Nia. Until the killer escapes. To protect her family, Nia has no choice but to join forces with said attorney. And if she loses her heart in the process, well, she's earned a bit of happy ever after.
Lucie J. Charles is a debut author with 5 completed unpublished manuscripts—4 WF and 1 YA. THE KNOWING is the first in a trilogy.
Subgenre: Paranormal Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: On a remote corner of the Pacific Northwest's Lopez Island, lush with decay and teeming with life, zombie bride Josie struggles to free herself from the mental prison built by her creator. When she meets Adam's assistant, the reclusive werewolf Halen Josie builds a path to escape through her senses. But a moment of passion leads to Adam's murder, and the couple struggles to keep Josie alive without the doctor's help, learning the price of freedom, and that not all ties are meant to be broken.
Author: Daisy Harris is a new author with a three book series about mermaids and sea dragons set to release this winter through Siren-Bookstrand. She loves coastal life and evil scientists.
Subgenre: Paranormal Romance series
ReplyDeletePitch: Devastated following her parents' deaths, heiress Katy questions her engagement to Shawn. After meeting Hunter, she's convinced Shawn is the wrong guy, but Shawn won't take no for an answer. Katy and Hunter fall in love, but she knows he's keeping something from her – like the fact he isn't human. Will either of them make the ultimate sacrifice and give up their world to be together?
Author: Clancy Metzger is a debut author with three manuscripts written.
Subgenre: Contemporary Single Title – Trilogy
ReplyDeleteIn REDEMPTION, a grieving ballerina experiences one night of passion with a charming Irish pub owner and then disappears, leaving an empty bottle of sleeping pills behind.
Nicole Westby can’t live with her pain. She spends one final day visiting the places her husband and daughter touched on the day they died. Shaun O’Dair falls hard for the sad woman that walks into his pub and they experience a night of profound passion. He’s shocked when Nicole disappears. Shaun searches and finally finds her. Now Nicole must learn to trust Shaun with her painful memories, and Shaun must choose what’s most important in his life, his love for Nicole or his business.
I'm a debut author with a passion for dance. I have 9 completed manuscripts. During the 2009 contest season, I was a finalist in twenty contests with 3 different manuscripts, including three first place finishes. One manuscript, STEEL HEARTS, was a 2010 Golden Heart finalist under my pseudonym – Nan Dixon.
Nancy Evertz
Subgenre: Steampunk with Paranormal Elements (87K with series potential)
ReplyDeletePitch: When Europe declares war on magic in the name of progress, one woman with an airship is commissioned by The Resistance to secret away the magical refugees. When she realizes that one of her crew is selling secrets to the Empire, she finds an unlikely ally in a lone alpha werewolf who awakens a desire in her that she assumed she'd killed off. In her quest to save magic, Sacha realizes she must choose between the safety of solitude and the danger of loving again.
Author: Rebecca Lynn is a pre-published author with multiple contest finals and wins, two completed novels, and several completed novellas.
A Dragon's Seduction: Paranormal Romance (series)
ReplyDeletePitch:
When Jareth Winter first sees Sarah Duke, his desire leads him to ignore dragon law, family loyalties, and common sense. Using seduction to strengthen their bond as life-mates, he tries to control her latent magical abilities and earn the respect of his power-hungry father, the clan leader. When an old enemy forces Sarah to realize her dragon-slayer heritage, Jareth's plan is exposed, and he must decide whether to betray his family or his heart. He makes his choice, not knowing that Sarah has a few additional secrets of her own...
Author: Suzanne Rock a multi-published ebook author, having written 2 novels and 3 novellas for Red Sage and Loose Id.
Subgenre: Historical romance/ Time travel
ReplyDeletePitch: Alexander Macpherson has sworn to never love again after the death of his wife and child. But fate has different plans. Plagued by a recurring dream of a beautiful stranger, Alexander is stunned when the object of his fantasies appears, claiming to be from the future. In, HIGHLAND DREAMS, where death and desire lurk, time may run out for Alexander before he can learn to love again and claim his heart's desire.
Author- My name is Sarah Hoss and I am a pre-published author. Highland Dreams is a finished manuscript of around 94,000 words and I am wrorking on book #2 which debuts Alexander's brother James.
Subgenre: Urban Fantasy
ReplyDeletePITCH: She found her mother dead, had a power that kept her from enjoying relationships, and lived with a match-making gypsy. Piper’s world involved too many distractions without the the trouble Bennett Slade introduced.
Slade's search for his missing mortal child required Piper's expertise and he wouldn't take no for an answer. Piper's unnatural connection with his daughter leads her to demonic forces that interfere with her power. She must embrace the darker side of her abilities to battle the evil forces without sacrificing the light in her soul, or lose her family and friends.
Rachel Firasek is a debut author with one other manuscript completed and two in the works.
Subgenre: Paranormal romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Claiming a mate is easy, it's keeping her alive that's difficult. After invading earth two years ago, Rafe, a sexy alien vampire, is forced to claim a mate or die. He tricks virgin massage therapist, Pepper, into accepting his claim, but her prophetic dreams of her own murder are urging her to leave. Forced by the claim to stay together or face death, they fall in love while fighting vampires, betrayal, and their own fears of commitment.
When he takes her blood to bind them, they learn she'd descended from the much sought after ancient ruling class from his planet. Now their enemies want to capture her alive, torment Rafe, rule earth, and enslave humanity. Her blood transforms Rafe, but in the final battle, will his change be enough to save them and humanity?
Author: Sandy L. Rowland is prepublished and A Touch Dead is the first in a three book series.
Book two is near completion.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteIt never hurts to read this over and over again!
Thanks,
Amelia
Subgenre: contemporary romance single title
ReplyDeletePitch:
Jenna Holt's quirky sense of humor hides her insecurities with her weight. During her quest to go from fab to fabulous, she realizes the issues she faces, doesn’t have anything to do with her size. Jenna learns being thinner doesn’t guarantee a fabulous life. With the whole growth process, Jenna finds love with Brent Richards who loves her no matter what size she is.
About the Author:
Diamond McKenzie is the pen name of a multi-published author of 9 books of another genre. She's won various awards and accolades for her writing. Her email address is diamondmckenzie@gmail.com
The End of Olivia's Innocence
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Historical/Regency Romance
Pitch: Miss Olivia March is firmly implanted on the shelf, she likes it that way. Little does she know that fate; in the form of her father, will change all that with two words: Arranged Marriage.
Nathan Carlson, Marquess of Standon, has been stamped with the moniker, Seducer of Innocents. Yet, Olivia, who has only called him friend for many years, disbelieves the rumors. They meet in secret till the day, he finds out about the forced arrangement.
What happens next, sends Nathan spiraling out of control, Olivia fares no better, as things go from bad to worse. Will their love survive all the obstacles before them? Only time will tell.
Author: Angela Arno is unpublished author. With many Romance short stories and poems written for Gather.com. Numerous Romance novel, Works in Progress. Has entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest and made it to the Semi-finals with this work, The End of Olivia's Innocence.
The Devil's Daughter
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Historical Romance
80k wordcount
A bounty hunter facing his past encounters a criminal on the run from her own. Blaze Marie Austin is no longer the little girl raised as an outlaw and finds her chance at redemption by repaying the man who’d saved her life. Confronted by the memory of his mother’s suicide and the father he blames for her death, Gade Ryder must find a gang of rustlers out of misplaced family loyalty. When the little criminal is accused of murder, Gade’s growing attraction could not only cost him his freedom, it may well cost him his life.
The Devil's Daughter is the first in a four book series.
The Author: Melissa Dawn Harte is a debut author with four completed unpublished manuscripts and a regular blogger at Lady Scribes. www.ladyscribes.blogspot.com
Thank you for this opportunity!
ReplyDeleteYOU’RE NOT THE ONE is a 98,000 word contemporary romance (trilogy)
PITCH: Cassidy Quinn, one of ten contestants on the new reality dating show The One, is excited for the chance to date a gorgeous bachelor. But when the bachelor turns out to be her ex-boyfriend, she thinks her chance at finding love is lost -- until she ends up in bed with cameraman Evan Burke! Not only does Cassidy have to deal with diva contestants that want her off the show, she also has to hide her torrid affair with Evan while her ex-boyfriend tries to win her heart back one kiss at a time. Is Cassidy really over her ex, and is she ready to risk her heart again by falling in love with Evan?
Author: Heather Thurmeier is a debut author with 2 unpublished completed manuscripts -- one single title and one novella. YOU’RE NOT THE ONE is the first novel in a planned trilogy.
Hi Deb, I have a contemporary women’s fiction set in Austin, Texas called "By Hook, By Crook Or By Terrier."
ReplyDeletePitch: An accidental art thief and her four-legged accomplice team up to return a stolen painting to a “burglar-proof” museum and bring a killer to justice.
Sherry Ledington is a debut author with two contest wins. She is a participant in Robert McKee's Storylogue class and has one unpublished manuscript written. She is currently working on a series she calls “The Canine Capers”.
Subgenre: Historical Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: For eleven years, Gillian Rutherford has dreamed of escaping her family’s dark secret and living a normal life. Now, faced with an unwelcome marriage that will chain her to London and the secret slowly killing her, she’s desperate to save herself and the sister she adores. Salvation comes in the form of an American shipping tycoon, and all she must do is seduce him into marrying her. But Gillian’s scheme hits a snag when she makes a bargain with Lord Alexander Trevelle, the unintentional heartbreaker. He’ll help her win the hand of his American friend, if she’ll assist him with exacting revenge against her unwanted fiancé. But the price of the pact may just be their hearts.
Author History: Julie Johnstone is a debut author with two unpublished manuscripts completed and a third in the works. EVADING THE ENGLISHMAN is the first book in a trilogy.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this opportunity.
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Single title contemporary romance, first in a planned series
Pitch: Ginny Fitzgerald has always dreamed of marriage and motherhood. But when the divorce attorney escapes her domineering former fiancé to pursue her unexplored passion for writing, the HAWAIIAN HEAT and enigmatic Drew Morgan melt her reserved façade, exposing a repressed passion for carnal pleasures. Now she fears that the only happily-ever-after ending in her future is the one she’s writing for her romance novel. Drew Morgan believes marriage is a farce and has vowed to remain a bachelor forever. But the bartender and aspiring thriller writer discovers he must choose between his moral opposition to the chains of marriage and the possibility of a lifetime of happiness when the HAWAIIAN HEAT welds love and lust into his dream soul mate: Ginny Fitzgerald.
Author: Diane Garner is a PRO member of RWA and its Kiss of Death chapter. She has written four complete manuscripts and published several articles in the award-winning SAN DIEGO WOMAN magazine. She has also earned four contest finals with two of her manuscripts and is currently writing a paranormal romantic suspense.
Subgenre: Historical Romance with elements of paranormal
ReplyDeleteHook: Balkans under the occupation of Ottoman Turks is a setting for this historical romance with the elements of paranormal, where the vampires co-exist among the living. Forever careful not be detected by the humans, they are found in every level of the society. This book features a seasoned warrior Matthias, who answers his call of duty and leaves his young wife behind, devastated to find her dead on the cold floor of their simple peasant’s home upon his return, he seeks revenge and gets mortally wounded. Moments before he joins his wife in the afterlife, Meeha, a vampire with the vengeance of her own, finds him and curses him with immortality, that’s where it all begins, this is his story.
Author History: Zrinka Jelic is a debut author with one compleated novel and second one near completion while the third one still remains very much a work in porgress. She is a member of RWA and it's chapter FFnP.
Historical/Women's Fiction
ReplyDeleteDuring the American Revolutionary War, there were women who fought beside men in this country’s struggle for independence; although, only now are we finding the truth of this matter. My 100,000-word historical fiction, The Untold Chronicles of an American: Part I, tells the story of Violet Buccleuch’s transformation from farmer to sniper.
L. B. Joramo is a debut author with five other finished manuscripts.
Good luck to everyone pitching!! I'm seeing some interesting stuff in these hooks :-)
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Lighthearted Paranormal Romance
ReplyDeletePITCH: When the love of her life breaks her heart, Jodie Devlin opts for suicide. But her decision to self-terminate has placed her in the realm beyond Earth without a reservation. Now, she'll become an employee of the Afterlife until a new life path can be arranged for her.
Bad enough Luc Asante's former wife ordered him taken off life support, condemning him to service in the Afterlife as one of Death's bounty hunters. But now he has to deal with a trainee--a female trainee who's as soft-hearted as he is hard, as impulsive as he is methodical.
If they weren't already dead, working together would probably kill them.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Gina Ardito is multi-published in contemporary and historical romance, including three historical romance releases this year with The Wild Rose Press and a three-book contract recently signed for a contemporary series for Avalon Books. She also co-founded the eastern Long Island chapter of RWA, Dunes & Dreams, and serve as its current president.
Thanks for your consideration!
Wow! These all sound great! Good luck to all of you!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this opportunity.
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Romantic suspense
Pitch: Caught in a world where nothing is what it seems, an intelligent young woman is manipulated as THE PAWN in both her boss’s money laundering operation and the FBI’s investigation. Desperate for her help to decipher the clues to the secret money laundering system, the mysterious FBI agent confronts her with the truth about the murder and mayhem around her. Suddenly aware that she’s been deceived by the hunted and the hunter, she struggles against the chaos to choose who to believe, who to help, and who to love.
Author: Diane Garner is a PRO member of RWA and its Kiss of Death chapter. She has written four complete manuscripts and published several articles in the award-winning SAN DIEGO WOMAN magazine. She has also earned four contest finals with two of her manuscripts and is currently writing a paranormal romantic suspense.
Submissive Beauty: contemporary erotic romance
ReplyDeleteIn a steamy, southern city amidst an urban backdrop, newly divorced Gabrielle enters “The Mansion.” Eager to understand her secret desires, she is easily seduced into a world of dominance and submission under false pretenses. Her journey puts her at the mercy of two men who teach her how to embrace her darkest needs within a tight bond of trust. Unfortunately, betrayal lurks on the path to total surrender.
Author: Eliza Gayle is a multi-published author with a variety of published works in both contemporary and paranormal erotic romance.
Subgenre: Historical
ReplyDeletePITCH: Railroad entrepreneur Jack Whitney stakes his family’s fortune on completion of the transcontinental railroad. His dream of finishing on schedule is jeopardized when his brother attempts to rape the daughter of a Chinese worker, and ends up killing the Chinaman. With the dead man’s daughter the only witness to the crime, Jack faces the moral dilemma of his life - leave the beautiful young woman to fend for herself among the prostitution cribs and opium dens of San Francisco's Chinatown or offer her protection, at the risk of his own heart?
Author: Kristyne Raley is a debut author and contests finalist.
ArkansasCyndi: Not a bad pitch, nice to see your voice coming through a little bit. The secret child has been a little bit overdone, though, so I'm not quite seeing what will make this break out in such a crowded marketplace.
ReplyDeleteLucie, this is clear, and it's well written, but long for what I asked for. Also, this is a pitch for a mystery--I wouldn't call it women's fiction.
ReplyDeleteGood idea to include the title--I neglected to ask for that, but it's essential.
Daisy, thank you, this is clear and well-written, although long for what I requested. Zombie romance is a daring direction to take--I'm not sure it's going to work for my list, though.
ReplyDeleteClancy, this isn't clear. If he's not human, what is he? I'm not hearing a hook, either, it's more of a plot description. How are we to sell this? What will make it break out?
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Erotic romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Tori MacMahon never paid close attention to a man’s voice before, but when Drew Milan, the host of the radio show she’s been hired to produce speaks, she nearly melts into a puddle of femininity right there on the studio floor. And when Drew sees his new producer’s long legs and wild, untameable hair, he knows he’s in trouble. Both fight the attraction, but after Drew catches Tori masturbating to the sound of his voice, all bets are off.
Author bio: Cassandra Carr is the pen name for a debut author with two finished manuscripts and a third in progress. This book’s “cute meet scene” was a finalist in the erotic romance category in Ignite the Flame.
Was going to include my title and forgot. It's Talk to Me.
ReplyDeleteNan Dixon, you did a great job with the author bio. The pitch itself was ok, but it didn't make me want to read the book. Too much trauma, not enough fun--even a dark tale can be fun/entertaining. I didn't get that from this pitch.
ReplyDeleteA note to y'all--you sneaky ones who are going beyond 2-3 sentences, what should I do with you? :-)
ReplyDeleteNotice how few of these are actually the length I asked for...
Interesting--btw, totally normal. I'd say 1 in 100 submissions follows our submission guidelines.
There's a lesson here... :-)
Rebecca Lynn--you nailed it! I love it, please send full submission deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteNotice: very clear, tells enough of the story that I get it, gives me something fresh and original (steampunk + alpha werewolf = FUN). I'm thinking I can sell this! Yay! Now, let's see about the execution...
Also, is there series potential here? That isn't explicitly stated, and I need to know...
Suzanne, this is a plot summary, not a hook. What's the 2-3 sentence hook that I can sell with?
ReplyDeleteSarah Hoss, another plot summary--what's the hook? There's a lot of Scottish time travel--what makes this one stand out?
ReplyDeleteAn impressive showing--well worth grabbing a quick time-out from revisions to read. Several of these cleverly crafted pitches made me want to see the whole story, meaning they did exactly what they were intended to do.:-)
ReplyDeleteBest of luck to everyone.
Rachel, this deviates from the structure I asked for.*
ReplyDeleteI didn't quite get the hook, and the first sentence turned me off--do I want to read about someone finding her mother dead? I'm already not relating to the heroine...the rest was detail but didn't tell me what makes this a MUST READ.
*I've decided for the moment I'm just going to point out when the pitch doesn't follow the structure I asked for. This isn't meant as public humiliation, but I think it might be useful for you all to look closely at the structure--it does matter--it's what the editor asked for.
ReplyDeleteI'm not willing to reject a project just because the submission didn't follow my guidelines (I'd have no list) but it does tell me something about whether or not the author follows directions--at least it's something I know I have to watch out for.
If you've already published 20 books and sold 10 million copies, this doesn't apply to you--but if you haven't...it's something to think about, yes?
S.L.--this is 2 paragraphs, I asked for 2-3 sentences.
ReplyDeleteThe writing is fine, but it's a plot summary. Where's the hook?
Diamond, the hook isn't clearly articulated, but I can tell there is one--something to do with a woman of size finding a man who loves them just the way she is--has this been done? Let's see a full submission: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteRANDOM THOUGHT:
ReplyDeleteDeb, you idiot, you forgot to tell them to include the book title with their pitches.
Yes, but, most of the pitches don't follow the structure you asked for anyway.
So, how come, if they're not giving you the title because you didn't ask for it, they're giving you what you didn't ask for anyway, but it's not the thing you didn't ask for that you actually need.
Note to self: next time, explain WHY you're asking for what you're asking for in the form in which you're asking for it
:-)
Angela, nice writing in this pitch but it is a plot summary, not a hook, and much longer than I asked for. In Regency, which is an overcrowded field, you really have to tell me what's going to make this book stand out. The elements are all pretty well-worn--arranged marriage, rakish hero, etc. I'm not seeing what makes this a MUST READ.
ReplyDeleteMelissa Dawn, thank you for letting me know that this is the first in a series of four. That's very helpful. This is more of a plot summary than a hook, however, and I'm concerned about the hero being a bounty hunter and the heroine a criminal. That doesn't fit my criteria of a heroine the reader can relate to and a hero she can fall in love with.
ReplyDeleteHeather, it sounds like there may be some fun elements in here, but it's not a hook, it's a plot summary. What's going to make the reader pick it up out of all the choices she's got?
ReplyDeleteSherry, this is the most concise pitch so far, kudos! However, it doesn't quite tell me enough--what's going to make the book stand out in the category? It sounds, also, like mystery, not women's fic. Good job though, on the brevity.
ReplyDeleteSpanish Eyes
ReplyDeleteHistorical Romance, 1st in trilogy
Senorita Analissa Benevento defied her father to love rough-and-tumble Texan Luke Malloy and her reward was betrayal and heartbreak when he married another woman. Now in the fall of 1835 she has come back to Texas to give her hand, if not her love, to a vainglorious Mexican officer whose fortune will restore luster to her family’s name and secure their future. And she will not allow an unexpected and volatile reunion with a widowed Luke derail her plans, even as his tender kisses soften her scorned heart.
Shellee Cruz writes historical romance and YA, with her debut co-authored YA to be published by Walker Books in Spring 2012.
O'Donovan, this is not the structure I asked for. The subgenre info is muddled--too many combined, then the pitch reads like mystery. Think about what category it's actually going to sit in at the bookstore: mystery, romance and general fiction are all bought by different buyers. I wouldn't know from this which buyer I'd be selling to.
ReplyDeleteJulie, it's a plot summary, not a hook. What makes this stand out in a very crowded category? Why is it a MUST READ?
ReplyDeleteCora, there's interesting stuff here, I like the dark/edgy quality, but this is a plot summary, not a pitch. What's the MUST READ element? What makes it stand out?
ReplyDeleteDiane, this is way longer than what I asked for and is more plot summary than hook. Why is this a MUST READ?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteFiretulip, this is interesting. I sense you trying to tell me what makes this book unique and that's absolutely necessary with vampires, since there's so much on the market. It's not quite crisp and clear, though. Want to refine and re-pitch?
ReplyDeleteTitle: Earth To Elena (single title)
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Sci-fi romance/romantic comedy
Pitch: The last time Elena Hendren saw Darius Maelstrom, they were being chased by the intersteller patrol for robbery and had entered a rift in space-time to avoid capture. Now, six years later, he's back and wants to team up again for the biggest heist of all—stealing Earth.
Author History: Cassandra Curtis is a multi-published author of short fiction with a top e-book publisher. Her e-book trilogy, Shifting Tides, is available in trade-back. She also serves as a book promotion liaison and author interviewer for the Midnight Moon Café, in addition to her staff role as a moderator on Romance Divas. Earth to Elena is a partially completed first draft, approximately 95,000 words in length.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Paranormal romance trilogy
ReplyDeleteClan Devereaux, Book One - Eye of the Cat, 91,000 words
PITCH: Jack Devereaux and his compatriots aren't like other men; Jack, a born shape-shifter, turned Shelton Navare at his request, and turned Tom McNeeley at the request of Tom's sister.
The night Jack meets Lizbet Babakov, he knows there is something unique about her; the night she shifts into a larger-than-life Siberian white tiger, he knows he'll do all in his power to keep her safe from the ancient Hunter who stalks his clan.
But before they can have the life they crave, they must find, and destroy, the Hunter.
AUTHOR: Natalie Lawrence is a debut author with 6 unpublished manuscripts completed.
Subgenre: TAROT QUEEN is a Fantasy romance which could begin a series
ReplyDeletePITCH: When the 400-year old Tarot Queen, Roxell, finally finds her fated lover, Dante, she is nonplussed to realize he is a demon. She must abandon everything she knows to find a way to remove his demon curse while Dante is being chased by the army for desertion and can be whisked away at any moment by anyone with his demon name. Consummating the love the cards have foretold could bring her life to an end. She will have to find capabilities and strengths she never suspected within herself if she is to help them find their destiny and the opportunity of a life together.
Stephanie Barr is a debut author has several short fiction writing credits and three finished unpublished manuscripts.
Subgenre: Paranormal romance
ReplyDeleteReluctant Gypsy Queen, Book One of the Arpad Family, 119,000 words
PITCH: Kristof Arpad, descendant of Matayas, bastard child of Stephen I and Gypsy Queen Liliana, has the responsibility of having to marry and sire an heir, a duty he finds rather distasteful, until he meets Madison Blair. He knows she is his true mate; all he needs to do now is convince her to overlook the Curse, trust the Gypsy Queen, and awaken her own Druid powers. Their love can destroy the Curse, if they can manage to stay alive. Book One of the Trilogy is set in Cleveland, Ohio.
AUTHOR: Natalie Lawrence is a debut author with 6 unpublished manuscripts completed.
Genre: Contemporary Romance
ReplyDeleteDaydreams & Night Scenes
Miranda Stuart wants to shrink down small enough to crawl beneath the woodwork immediately following a seduction scene gone awry, all because of a teenage crush on a man who was way out of her league. When the nights’ magic should have begun, our dashing and arrogant, billionaire playboy hero, Alexander Denning, enters the seduction scene with bright lights blaring and another woman in tow. But he can’t get the memory of this particular woman out of his mind and is determined to find her and exact his revenge for the invasion of privacy, not because the image of her in sexy lingerie has him mesmerized…but he doesn’t even know her name. Miranda is dearly hoping it stays that way.
I'm an unpublished author with six completed manuscripts, two of which are the first in a series.
Dear Deb,
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments.
Helpful and right on.
Sorry for the length. Need to work on it. I'm also looking into the difference between a good hook and what I sent to you.
Will be checking out Rebecca Lynn's pitch and back covers of like books.
Thank you,
S. L. (Sandy)
Lani, very straightforward, clear pitch. Please send a full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteGina, this is a GREAT line! "If they weren't already dead, working together would probably kill them." I'm not sure about the hero/heroine and my criteria, but based on that pitch, I want to take a look. Send full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteDiane, this pitch is intriguing and let's me feel the suspense building. I still need to know more of what will make it absolutely stand out in a crowded field, but you're heading in the right direction.
ReplyDelete[Subgenre]Romantic suspense
ReplyDelete[Pitch]
Stalked by a maniacal murderer bent on stealing her laboratory notebook, DNA scientist Molly risks her career to test a new drug to access ancestral memories seared into the fabric of her genes. In drug-induced dreams she meets her Irish ancestor Mahlsi, whose passions and betrayals collide with Molly's search for truth. Philman, a power-hungry philanthropist, has a secret billion dollar need for the technology Molly possesses and Mahlsi's experiences warn that co-researcher Bill, whose wandering heart Molly has finally won, is planning to betray her to Philman.
[Author]
Kat Duncan is a debut print author with a romantic suspense novella in production for e-publication and 7 unpublished manuscripts written.
Eliza, you did a great job with this pitch. I really have a sense of what the book is and also of your voice. Please send a full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteThanks, Deb. The manuscript is entitled "Eternally Yours" and I'm sending it now.
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Multicultural Romantic Suspense (Series)
ReplyDeletePitch: Hidden high up on the snowy peak of a Colorado mountain, a killer has decided that the time has come for past sins to be revenged. In CODES OF DEATH, Bear Grayson, a battle-worn mercenary who protects the innocent is ready to retire from the death and destruction only to be snatched back in when his younger brother is accused of killing four women by the mysterious FBI Cryptologist, Kat Monroe. As the body count rises, cryptic messages lead Kat away from her original suspect and into the arms of Bear. But it may be too late for romance, because all too soon they discover that the killer’s next target is Kat.
Author: Pamela Varnado (AKA Pamela Vee)recently had a novella published with The Wild Rose Press and has been a finalist in numerous national contests.
I can't believe I got this down to two sentences, but here I go again. Thanks for taking the time to do this for us.
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Single title contemporary romance, first in a planned series
Pitch: When a wealthy, divorce attorney escapes her domineering former fiancé and leaves behind her dream of marriage to pursue her unexplored passion for writing, she never expects to fall in love with a poor, enigmatic bartender who believes marriage is a farce. What they learn from each other, what sacrifices they’re willing to make, and what ideals they cling to, create the humor and heartbreak that determines their chance at a happily-ever-after ending in HAWAIIAN HEAT.
Author: Diane Garner is a PRO member of RWA and its Kiss of Death chapter. She has written four complete manuscripts and published several articles in the award-winning SAN DIEGO WOMAN magazine. She has also earned four contest finals with two of her manuscripts and is currently writing a paranormal romantic suspense.
[Subgenre] Contemporary women's fiction.
ReplyDelete[Pitch] CHANGES are what happen when the Wall St. meltdown dumps widowed Pam into too-close companionship with her redoubtable activist mother, Dorothy, and Pam is suddenly dating the handsome stranger living next door to their Long Island beach home. Changes throw Pam’s TV newswoman daughter Linley into the arms of her hot coworker, Jason, but can they see past their fierce ambition? Changes are creeping into elderly Dorothy’s brain, making it difficult for her to remember why the new man next door reminds her of Greta, dead so long ago, so tragically.
[Author] A debut author with three other completed manuscripts, one of which is also women's fiction.
Subgenre: Paranormal romance trilogy -- Book 1: Eyewitness (93k)
ReplyDelete2-4 Sentence Hook: Relek City's number one crime boss will not be denied: Emily Barton will heal his son's terminal cancer, or she will die. Running an animal-assisted therapy clinic provides enough daily challenges for Emily without adding gun-toting kidnappers and Jay McLelas, a half-naked, masked vigilante with a pet owl, to the mix. But with a single, scorching kiss, Emily's spirit entwines with her leather-clad protector's and her empathic affinity for animals mutates with visions she can't control. Though the line of trust between them is as cracked and fragile as the city sidewalks, Emily and Jay must battle financial blackmail, drugs, dirty cops--and their own conflicted hearts.
Author History: Sarah Templeton (w/a Cera Daniels) is a debut author with a love for all things animal and delicious masked alpha heroes. She has 4 unpublished manuscripts written in the genres of steampunk and paranormal romance.
As per your request I tried to refine and re-submit. Hope this is bit more cirsp and clear.
ReplyDeleteRose of Crimson - historical romance with elements of paranormal.
When a seasoned warrior, Matthias, answers his call of duty and goes to fight Ottoman Turks at the Siget Fortress, little does he know he would find his young wife brutally murdered and his home raided upon his return. With nothing left to lose, he seeks revenge, mortally wounded, he is but moments away from joining Emina in the afterlife when Meeha, a dangerous vampire with the vengeance of her own, finds him and secretly curses him with immortality.
After a century and countless failed attempts to destroy him, Meeha releases him of her dominance and he settles in a small town as a young doctor, where he finds her, his beloved Emina in a body of another, and he has to have her, so much so that the recklessly becomes her benefactor and “Uncle”.
His creator kidnaps his new love, but the price for rescuing her is too steep for all, in doing so Meeha’s mysterious identity is revealed and his new love now faces immortal kind of existence and while he awaits her awakening, he bleeds memories of their love, the resurrection of life he long since buried.
About the author: Zrinka Jelic is a debut author with one novel compleated and one near compleation, and many more in progress. She is a member of RWA and it's chapter FFnP.
calling it a day now--all pitches will have a response by 9/3--keep them coming until midnight tonight!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great opportunity! I hope I'm not too late...
ReplyDeleteMY PITCH: She has issues. He has obsessions. Together, they must save a sleepy mountain town from being destroyed by a profiteering villain before they drive each other crazy.
--Stacey Goitia
A Demon's Redemption
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Paranormal Romance (Approximately 90,000 words with series potential)
Pitch: Lorelei Angel has the talent for sniffing out demons and sending them back to hell, and the power to redeem them and send them on to heaven, qualities that make her the most sought after person on earth; demons either want to use her to escape their hellish prison – or kill her. But Lorelei has always been able to protect herself against all attacks, until she meets Azazel, who mounts an attack on her of a very different kind – seduction. Will her passion be her downfall?
Author: Margay Leah Justice is the author of Nora's Soul, published by Second Wind Publishing, LLC, to which this story is loosely connected.
A Demon's Redemption
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Paranormal Romance (Approximately 90,000 words with series potential)
Pitch: Lorelei Angel has the talent for sniffing out demons and sending them back to hell, and the power to redeem them and send them on to heaven, qualities that make her the most sought after person on earth; demons either want to use her to escape their hellish prison – or kill her. But Lorelei has always been able to protect herself against all attacks, until she meets Azazel, who mounts an attack on her of a very different kind – seduction. Will her passion be her downfall?
Author: Margay Leah Justice is the author of Nora's Soul, published by Second Wind Publishing, LLC, to which this story is loosely connected.
I just wanted to thank Deb for doing this again. I always find her observations insightful.
ReplyDeleteMargay
What a great opportunity! I hope I'm not too late...
ReplyDeleteMY PITCH: She has issues. He has obsessions. Together, they must save a sleepy mountaint town from the ravages of a selfish profiteer before they drive each other crazy.
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Harriet's escaping from her cold, possessive father. Sam, just as dominating, comes to her small Nevada town and needs her assistance. Harriet finds herself pinned between the man who comes to love her and the one who won't let her go
Author: Beppie Harrison has written eight published non-fiction books, and has written four other completed contemporary fiction manuscripts.
Genre: Paranormal Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Jessie Garrett is calling for retribution. She’s hot on the trail to claim the soul of an evil vampire hunting children. As she partners with another bloodsucker to find and destroy the evil vamp, she discovers not all vampires are killers and being half-demon doesn’t mean she’s destined to spend eternity in Hell.
Author: Mary Abshire is a debut author with three completed manuscripts and two works in progress. Claiming the Evil Dead is first in the soul-catcher series.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteIn answer to your question about what makes "By Hook, By Crook or By Terrier" a must read, I thought I'd expand on my pitch so you could get a better feel for the story.
PITCH: Former security expert Caprice Carrington is in a pretty pickle when her novelist uncle “borrows” a Monet from a museum where she once worked. Risking her own freedom to save the uncle she adores, Caprice devises a plan to return the painting … just as soon as she can find it.
Texas Ranger Slade Donovan thinks he’s seen it all. Until he walks in on a small town bank robbery to find a stunning blonde lecturing the robber on his flawed technique. When the helpful honey turns out to be the number one suspect in a museum heist, Slade decides to stick to her like barbeque sauce on ribs until he finds out exactly what she’s up to.
Can a woman who’s hellbent on breaking the law find happiness with a man sworn to uphold it?
Subgenre: Romantic suspense, first in a trilogy
ReplyDeletePitch: An intelligent young woman is caught in a life-and-death chess match and used as THE PAWN in both her charismatic boss’s money laundering operation for a drug cartel kingpin and the FBI’s investigation. Fighting deception, manipulation, and seduction, she struggles to find the truth as dead bodies accumulate. Desperate for her help to decipher the secret laundering system, the mysterious FBI agent confronts her with the reality of the murder and mayhem around her. Suddenly aware that she’s been deceived by both sides, she must choose who to believe, who to help, and who to love.
Author: Diane Garner is a PRO member of RWA and its Kiss of Death chapter. She has written four complete manuscripts and published several articles in the award-winning SAN DIEGO WOMAN magazine. She has also earned four contest finals with two of her manuscripts and is currently writing a paranormal romantic suspense.
Contemporary - Second Chances:The Courtship Wars
ReplyDeleteAre “second chances” possible? Renowned psychologist, Carter Damron, and well-respected sexologist, Gillian Cornell, find themselves thrown together as the medical staff for Second Chances, a reality TV show–one for couples who were married and divorced and now wish to remarry. Damron considers himself the next Dr. Phil, and Cornell desires a book deal out of the endeavor. Having once had a brief affair, they have trouble hiding their attraction for each other, and the TV execs devilishly use their chemistry to boost ratings by putting the two doctors through the same elimination rounds as the couples. Unfortunately, just as things progress, everyone discovers that “Carter” is an imposter. Can love survive chaos?
Regina Jeffers is the author of five Jane Austen-related titles and is a finalist in several contests. Her first Regency romance is scheduled for release in January 2011.
Title: The Duke of Snow and Apples
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Paranormal romance, first in a series
PITCH: In this gender reversed re-telling of "Snow White," Freddy Snow hides his aristocratic past and unusual psychic powers working as a footman for the eccentric Seven Dowagers. When he's tasked to serve a marriage-minded house guest, her unorthodox antics might expose him - but she just might be the Princess Charming to wake his heart from its frozen sleep.
Jennifer Schober of Spencerhill requested a partial.
Author History: Elizabeth Vail is multipublished in fantasy short format, and is currently working on the second book in her Seven Dowagers series.
Subgenre: Urban Fantasy with a smidge of romance
ReplyDeletePITCH: Alex MacPherson is tired. A Special Agent with the ATF, and a recovering alcoholic, she's investigating a case in the Pocono Mountains of Pennsylvania where anti-government separatists are manufacturing weapons. Things go from bad to worse when she discovers that the weapons are human. Or used to be.
Author: Tara Kollas is a debut author with a number of contracts and a few appellate briefs to her credit.
Subgenre: futuristic paranormal romance trilogy – Dark Desire, 90,000 words
ReplyDeletePitch: When one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse falls in love with a demon he’s sworn to kill - all hell breaks loose.
Thorne has felt the rancid bite of treachery from a demon before and he’s not going to let feelings get in the way of eradicating his next target, the demon Kaia - the God killer.
[author history]
I’m a pre-published author of 5 books
Good luck to everyone! Kudos to each and every one of you for putting your pitches out here.
ReplyDeleteSub genre: Historical Romance
ReplyDeleteThe Pitch: Wholesale Husband
To keep her uncle from taking control of her father’s company, Clarissa Burdick sets out to find a husband strong enough to protect her from her uncle’s thugs, too uneducated to run the company himself, and poor enough to marry a woman in name only. But Irish immigrant, Devin Flannery, is smarter than he seems and more educated than Clarissa expects and her Wholesale Husband soon poses a greater risk to her heart than her company.
Gayle Glass writes paranormal and historical romance under the name Lilly Gayle. Out of the Darknes, a paranormal romance, is her first published novel. She currently has two historical romances under consideration with two different publishers. Wholesale Husband is her fourth completed manuscript.
Wow, lots of great pitches here! Good luck to all.
ReplyDeleteContemporary Women’s Fiction: FRESH-BAKED TROUBLE is the first book in a series.
ReplyDeletePitch: Wisteria Lane has nothing on a high falutin’ Texas community where scandals are plentiful. When a former socialite goes undercover to expose high society secrets, her double life--pastry chef by day, truth vigilante by night--presents problems of its own: juggling dual roles, evading a drug sting, and avoiding two sexy men who could blow her cover. Can she pull it off or will she land in a batch of Fresh-Baked Trouble?
Author: Debut author, Marian Pearson Stevens has garnered awards and honors in multiple writing competitions and won the prestigious Linda Howard Award of Excellence.
A Love to Die For: suspense with heavy romantic elements
ReplyDeletePitch: I’m a single mother, an FBI Agent and the object of hatred for my very own stalker, but my bad luck doesn’t stop there. Apparently, the Three Fates get their jollies by lobbing curveballs at me. They lure two equally tempting men into my life then further complicate the drama with a little home invasion, a smattering of gunfire, a line of dead bodies spanning back fifteen years…and one psychotic killer whose tortured past is eerily similar to mine.
Author: Jordyn James has been published with Ellora’s Cave, Samhain, and The Wild Rose Press.
Subgenre: Contemporary
ReplyDeletePITCH: Crime seems to be on the increase everywhere, but nowhere does crime increase so quickly as it does in a neighborhood with its own resident sleuth (or nosey parker).
PITCH: At least one neighborhood knows how to have the crime rate drop precipitously. A delegation of concerned citizens and homeowners politely requests Ms. Supersleuth to take herself and her hobby to another neighborhood unless she promises to stop sleuthing so the neigborhood will be safe again.
Author: A debut author.
Machine Slave - Steampunk romance with series potential
ReplyDeleteIn turn-of-the-century America, Grace Katona is a huntress of men whom alien predators have made half-machine—electrified vampires who kill by draining humans’ life-energy. The machines’ most well-disguised convert, R.J. Hartley struggles with emotions he thought long extinguished as he seduces Grace to gain information and pave the way for invasion. When Grace learns the man she’s fallen in love with is one of the creatures she’s sworn to destroy, she and R.J. must set aside their fears to work together and overcome a bigger threat than either can imagine.
Jennette Marie Powell is a PRO member of RWA and the author of six paranormal romance novels, including winners/finalists in several RWA chapter contests.
Thanks for the feedback! I was reading the rules and didn't find anything that said I couldn't try again, so I'm trying again. Hopefully I'm not too late. :)
ReplyDeleteTitle:
A Dragon's Seduction
Genre: Paranormal Romance (series)
Pitch:
When Jareth falls in love with the last descendant of the infamous dragon slayer Marduke, an ancient Babylonian legend becomes a modern day dilemma. Should he remain loyal to his dysfunctional family and destroy his ignorant mate, or can love overcome a prophecy that predicts this special ops beauty will destroy his entire world?
Author: Suzanne Rock a multi-published ebook author, having written 2 novels and 3 novellas for Red Sage and Loose Id.
Subgenre: Zombie Love, a 97,000-word urban fantasy romance, first in a proposed series
ReplyDeletePitch: Maybe tabloid reporter Samantha “Sam” Ridgeway should have looked a little more closely at a certain celebutante’s rehab center. Now Sam’s the walking, talking undead with a ravenous appetite, a very hunky and very annoying vampire is dodging her every step, and she’s got to stop a psycho zombie celebutante from taking over the world. Or at least Hollywood.
Author: Suzan Harden currently writes a legal column for the Texas High Patrol Magazine, but would much rather play in Sam’s world.
Subgenre: Fantasy Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Firespark is the first book in a planned trilogy. Aylwen Claremore has always dreamed of a life filled with adventure, but a forced engagement to a wealthy nobleman threatens to crush her dreams for good. Fleeing all she's ever known, Aylwen meets Dylan, a handsome young man with a taste for adventure that rivals her own. Their newfound friendship blossoms into much more, but sinister forces threaten to tear the lovers apart as Aylwen's destiny begins to unfold.
Author: Emily Love is a debut author with one completed manuscript.
Hoping I'm not too late!
ReplyDeleteHIDDEN IN SHADOWS: paranormal romance with series potential - 96,000
Pitch:
Assassin Lorna McCloud has an advantage over her victims – the power to create and hide in artificial shadows; however, the one target she longs for most remains elusive – her father's murderer. With no leads, Lorna continues to accept assignments including a small island king with a high price on his head. When she falls for noble King Alaric, Lorna distances herself from her assassin lifestyle but cannot escape her past as a mass gravesite on the island provides clues to her father's murder. Torn between murder and love, Lorna cannot escape her ardent desire for revenge even if it means losing her only chance of living a happy life with Alaric.
Author: Nicole Zoltack is the author of a fantasy romance series, The Kingdom of Arnhem - Woman of Honor (2009) and Knight of Glory (2010) with Desert Breeze Publishing. She has also sold six short stories and two flash pieces for anthologies, two of which are under the pen name Nicolette Zamora.
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance Series
ReplyDeletePitch: Wyoming millionaire Kyle Pressley swore against marriage after an engagement gone bad. Shelby Littleton devoted to her business and family in Texas lost her husband. Seeking a new career, she finds her world tumbling out of control everytime she's with the him. Overcoming life obstacles are challenging enough for Shelby, adding a death threat to their lives can rip their worlds apart.
Author: SJ Owens is a new writer.
Subgenre: Dark Epic Fantasy
ReplyDeletePitch: Windborne
Convinced to rethink her xenophobic ways by a gentle healer she'd believed cowardly, a visionary leader reconciles warring tribes, frees them from brutal alien conquerors, and leads them off their dying planet to a new home.
High Concept: Avatar merges with To Kill a Mockingbird
Author History: From a family of writers and English teachers, Brenda Nelson-Davis, a former English teacher turned debut author has four completed manuscripts awaiting publication. Thanks for your time and consideration.
Subgenre: Extreme Gothic Romance
ReplyDeletePitch: Other Than
Abducted to an 18th century island purgatory, a physician-turned-zombie's destiny is torn between two brothers: a vampire lord who promises a glamorous immortal passion or a human slave who offers an experimental cure and his heart.
Author History: From a family of writers and English teachers, Brenda Nelson-Davis, a former English teacher turned debut author has four completed manuscripts awaiting publication. Thank you again for this opportunity.
Hawkswold Priory: Historical novel with strong romantic elements
ReplyDeleteIn spite of King Henry VIII’s efforts to destroy Catholicism in England, Julian, a young Yorkshire tomboy befriends Hugh, a young monk at her family’s priory. But when her father dies, Julian is sent to an abbey on the moors.The king’s troops raze the abbey novice, and Julian escapes to a nearby village, ending up living in a brothel and, posing as a man, teaching in an Anabaptist school—a decision that could result in her being burned as a heretic. After the dissolution of Hawkswold Priory, Hugh intends to sail to France, but fearing for Julian’s safety, he rides to the rescue.
Coralie is the author of 4 published novels, the latest historical Winter Harvest released in July by Five Star.
Subgenre: Contemporary Romance
ReplyDeleteTitle: A Bid for Love
Pitch: When magazine reporter, Becky Edwards gets the chance to interview millionaire antique dealer, Greg Gibson, she plans to prove to herself that she can do it without succumbing to the sexual tension that erupts between them, but her plan turns awry at a bachelorette auction when Greg wins a week of her companionship and moves in with her. Becky soon learns that it isn't only lust that is building between them, but suspicion and mistrust as Greg seems to have some secrets of his own. Through a series of misunderstandings and heartache, Becky and Greg search for that happily ever after which seems just out of their reach.
Author: Tricia Saxby is a debut author with one finished manuscript and one in the works.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteIf I may, here is my hook. Sorry, I am new to all of this.
Take a Scottish Country side on Mid-Summers Eve and add a shooting star. Add 1 magical pearl pendant. Then mix it with two strangers with troubled hearts from different centuries; both dreaming of each other. What do you get? A recipe for romance and possible disaster.
I hope I'm not too late. Thanks for this great opportunity. It's something I've been struggling with. I don't think I fit neatly into traditional romance so I guess I'm women's fiction with strong paranormal and romance elements.
ReplyDeleteTWIN FLAME - 105,00 words.
In between sipping her wine and ogling Marc Tremonti, the bartender, Natalia Santagario finds that she has drawn his distinct birthmark and tattoo without ever seeing it. Whe Marc notices it, he demands to know how she drew it. Natalia has no idea.
Their fascination with each other inexplicable, they agree to be regressed under hypnosis. They learn they have spent hundreds of lives together but only four relate to the birthmark. Discovering they are each other's Twin Flame or eternal soul mates, they seem destined to be together forever. However, there are a few problems including a kind but high-maintenance almost ex-wife, a mischievous ghost and a bout with amnesia. What are two soul mates who have been as one since the dawn of time to do when it seems they can't be together in their present life?
Author: Debbie Christiana is a debut author with once manuscript complete and a second one partially compete.
KRaley, this is quite an interesting pitch. You really communicated the issues very clearly. A tough historical period, but let's see a full submission: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteShelleecruz, this pitch is clear and your voice is coming through. The time period is tough but let's see a full submission: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeletethanks!
Cassandra, LOVE this pitch! Made me want to read the book! Please send a full submission: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeletethanks!
Natalie, the pitch is intriguing--can you tell me what will make the book stand out in all the shapeshifter paranormals that are out there?
ReplyDeleteStephanie, this pitch for Tarot Queen is interesting. I'd like to take a look--you haven't quite articulated the hook, but I'm sensing something different about this. Please send full submission to: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteNatalie, your pitch for Reluctant Gypsy Queen might have been trying to cram too much into a small space. It confused me a little...can you think about what makes it stand out in the category--why is it a MUST READ?--and try again?
ReplyDeleteLorraine, the pitch confused me--what's a "seduction scene"? The hero also sounded a little unappealing--billionaire doesn't make up for arrogant, quite...I'd like to understand this better if you want to try again?
ReplyDeleteKat, I like how fast-paced your pitch is, but there were some parts that confuse me. Who exactly is the hero? What does love have to do with anything (remember, romantic suspense still has to be romance--love story is central)? And, what is "a secret billion dollar need"?
ReplyDeletePamela, I would lose the first sentence of this pitch; it's not buying you anything. Then I got confused about the "mercenary who protects the innocent". A mercenary is a soldier with no national allegiance. Mercenaries don't operate generally in the domestic arena, unless they're hired assasins for the mafia or something? I didn't quite get the hook of this, although I got a sense of the plot.
ReplyDeleteDiane Garner, you nailed it! Now I want to read the book! Good job. Please send full submission to: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteLily, this is a very good pitch. It makes me want to read the book. It has poignancy, tells me enough to make me care about the characters. Not sure the hook is completely crisp and clear, but because I want to read more, please send a full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteHi Deb,
ReplyDeleteDid you answer my pitch? I can't tell if you meant mine (Amanda aka Cassandra) or Cassandra? Our pitches were very close to each other.
Thanks so much!
Amanda aka Cassandra Carr
Deb,
ReplyDeleteWhich Lily's ms are you requesting? Lily who pitched contemporary women's fiction? Or me-Lilly Gayle who pitched the historical romance entitled WHOLESALE HUSBAND?
Thanks for the clarification.
Just wanted to add my thanks to everyone else's to Deb for allowing us this opportunity.
ReplyDeleteThanks again, Deb.
Sherry
Deb,
ReplyDeleteIn answer to PITCH for Clan Devereaux, Book One, Eye of the Cat – what separates it from other shape-shifter novels?
The story combines a wolf shapeshifter Clan and a cat shapeshifter Clan; both Clans originate in Europe, and both are being slowly eradicated by a Hunter neither Clan can see; Shelton, a third-generation Shaman, and Caroline, a second generation witch who is also Lizbet’s best friend, help Jack to track and trap the nefarious Hunter who has been stalking the two Clans for centuries.
(original pitch)
Subgenre: Paranormal romance trilogy
Clan Devereaux, Book One - Eye of the Cat, 91,000 words
PITCH: Jack Devereaux and his compatriots aren't like other men; Jack, a born shape-shifter, turned Shelton Navare at his request, and turned Tom McNeeley at the request of Tom's sister.
The night Jack meets Lizbet Babakov, he knows there is something unique about her; the night she shifts into a larger-than-life Siberian white tiger, he knows he'll do all in his power to keep her safe from the ancient Hunter who stalks his clan.
But before they can have the life they crave, they must find, and destroy, the Hunter.
Subgenre: "The List" is a romantic comedy.
ReplyDeletePitch: Addison Myer’s life is carefully ordered by her to-do lists—she even created a list of qualities for her perfect man, which she recently used to choose her sperm donor.
Her favorite client, Tessa Lowe, has just died and Addy has been charged with administering the estate to Tessa’s poker-playing nephew, Sutter.
Sutter loved Tessa, the only Lowe to respect his dreams of going to Vegas, but now he’s stuck in Boston renovating a dilapidated brownstone and jumping through the hoops held by the impossible, yet appealing, Addison—and the last thing he needs is to be trapped in a relationship with a pregnant chick.
Author: Tara Erickson is a debut author with 4 completed manuscripts.
Genre:Romance Suspense- 150,000
ReplyDeletePitch:Symon Brannigan had a choice between duty or love.
He chose duty. After four years of captivity he returns home to reclaim the love of his life only to find the remote village no longer the peaceful sanctuary he left behind.
A serial killer bent on revenge has claimed Rook Haven as his personal killing ground and Symon and Caitlin have to discover his identity before they become his next victims.
Pamala Owldreamer
ReplyDeleteGenre:Romance suspense with paranormal elements-155,000
Return In snow
Pitch:Symon Brannigan had to choose between duty and love.He chose duty.After four years in captivity,he returns home to reclaim Caitlin,the love of his life,only to find the remote Alaskan village no longer the peaceful sanctuary he left.
A serial killer bent on revenge has claimed Rook Haven as his personal killing ground. In a race against time,Symon and Caitlin have to discover the indenity of the killer before they become his next victims.
Author:Pamala Owldreamer is a debut author with two complete unpublished manuscripts.One partial WIP of original children's fairy tales titled: Tales of the Forest and partial of untitled sequel to Return In Snow.
SUB-GENRE: Paranormal Romance
ReplyDeleteHOOK:
After a horrific encounter with vampires, Allison is no longer the innocent young girl she once was. She Becomes Quicksilver, a ruthless hunter bent on vengeance against the undead. But her hunt interrupts the first human-vampire negotiation, led by ex-priest, Kethan, to bring peace between the warring groups. So Quicksilver must decide if she can trust the undead to keep their word, or her heart that whispers it may be time to accept Kethan’s love and give up the hunt for vengeance, forever.
AUTHOR HISTORY:
Amy Corwin is an award-winning author of several books including four historicals/historical romantic mysteries and an upcoming contemporary paranormal romance, Vampire Protector. Vampire Protector briefly introduces the character of Quicksilver, who now has her own story told in a manuscript ready for submission: Quicksilver.
Redo - a yeah or nay is good
ReplyDeleteSubgenre: Contemporary Romance
Title: Wyoming Men Series
The End Can Be The Beginning
Pitch: After losing her husband, how can an independent woman intertwine her life with a man who makes her world tumble out of control, set goals for a new career and deal with a death threat that could tear their worlds apart.
S.J. Owens is a new writer
Cera, there's something new and original in here, but the pitch is confusing. I can't figure out what you're telling me is happening.
ReplyDelete"heal his son's terminal cancer, or she will die"--how's she supposed to do that?
"an animal-assisted therapy clinic"-what the heck is this?
The hook, which is the most important part, is obscured by perhaps too much of the wrong details...???
Clarify and repitch to me directly if you'd like: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
Firetulip, thanks for re-pitching. Still too long, and the hook isn't clear. What's going to make this book stand out in a crowded marketplace? What makes it a MUST READ?
ReplyDeletescgoitia, nice and concise! Not sure what the hook is from a marketing standpoint--how do I SELL it?
ReplyDeleteMargay, this is a really good pitch--clear, just the right amount of the right information. There's a lot of competition though, so I'm not going to pursue the project. It might work in category--you might want to look into that.
ReplyDeleteBeppie, this is a concise pitch, but I'm not sure it makes either the heroine or the hero attractive. I'm not getting the hook that will make the reader care about them enough to buy the book.
ReplyDeleteMary, this is a good clear pitch. There are so many vampires now that I need something that really, really makes a vampire romance stand out. Not clear who the hero is and so there's nothing for the reader to care about in terms of their relationship.
ReplyDeleteSherry, you nailed it this time! Please send a full submission--this sounds like so much fun! deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteDiane, the pitch is ok but not stand-apart--sounds like lots of other romantic suspense I've read before.
ReplyDelete"life-and-death chess match" huh?
Deb, thank you so much for the critique. I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteMargay
Regina, I'm not sure I'd pursue this contemporary but I sure would love to talk to you about how you might expand from Jane Austen related fiction to romance fiction. Email me directly? deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteAnimeJune--sounds like enormous fun, please send a full submission to Leah Hultenschmidt who just joined us--she read your pitch on Dear Author and really liked it: leah.hultenschmidt@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteSandra, your pitch is clear and concise, but against my criteria (a heroine the reader can relate to; a hero she can fall in love with) I wouldn't pursue this project. Two killers are going to be hard to care about.
ReplyDeleteLilly, good pitch but I'm not entirely sure about the credibility and relatability of the heroine.
ReplyDeleteMarian, let's take a look at Fresh Baked Trouble--sounds like fun! deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteJordyn, are you trying for a Janet Evanovich tone? If so, you might want to rethink your title--it's contradictory and confuses me. This could be fun, I'm not sure I saw real originality.
ReplyDeleteYou asked: “life-and-death chess match” huh?
ReplyDeleteSorry for the confusion. Since the title is THE PAWN and the heroine is used as a pawn by BOTH the FBI and the money launderer, I compared the conflict to a chess match because of the chess piece by the same name. The life-and-death part refers to the bodies that accumulate after each side makes a move. Guess I’ll have to re-think the symbolism.
Thanks again for taking the time to critique our pitches. I’ve learned a lot.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteI don't see a critique of my pitch so I'm including it below again:
Subgenre: Erotic romance
Title: Talk to Me
Pitch: Tori MacMahon never paid close attention to a man’s voice before, but when Drew Milan, the host of the radio show she’s been hired to produce speaks, she nearly melts into a puddle of femininity right there on the studio floor. And when Drew sees his new producer’s long legs and wild, untameable hair, he knows he’s in trouble. Both fight the attraction, but after Drew catches Tori masturbating to the sound of his voice, he decides to go after what he wants, and things heat up in and out of the studio.
Author bio: Cassandra Carr is the pen name for a debut author with two finished manuscripts and a third in progress. This book’s “cute meet scene” was a finalist in the erotic romance category in Ignite the Flame.
Do-over to qualify relatailty and creditability of heroine.
ReplyDeleteSub genre: Historical romance (American Victorian era)
Title: Wholesale Husband 90,000 words
Pitch: What she needs to save her father's company from a corrupt uncle is a husband with a strong back and a weak mind. What she gets is a sexy Irish immigrant who proves he cares more for her than her father's money.
Lilly Gayle writes historical and paranormal romance. Out of the Darknes, a paranormal romance, is her first published novel. Wholesale Husband is her fourth completed manuscript.
I apologize for posting two pitches.The first I hit send before I edited.never the thing to do.I re-posted the correct format I hope. Thank you so very much for taking the time to help so many writers and aspiring authors.I look forward to reading your advice on my pitch for Return In Snow,the first in a series of novels.Pamala Owldreamer
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add my thanks for a very informative exercise. I appreciate the time you took to help us hone pitches and understand what worked and what didn't. Thank you for the insight and the opportunities.
ReplyDeleteLoretta, this is a cute pitch, but a bit confusing. Is this a cozy mystery? If it's a contemporary romance, it doesn't seem to have a hero. And while I get the premise that sets the book in motion, I don't see what the hook is, or what happens that makes it a MUST READ.
ReplyDeleteSuzanne Rock, yes, I like this better--please send a full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteSuzan, I have some real misgivings about zombie romance, but this sounds like it could be fun. Please send a full submission to deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteEmily, this is an ok pitch, but I'm a bit confused. You say it's a fantasy romance but I don't get the fantasy element at all. The pitch sounds like a historical...
ReplyDeleteNicole, my colleague Leah Hultenschmidt loves assassin heroines--please send a full submission to her at leah.hultenschmidt@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteSJOwens--a solid pitch, but I'm not sure what the hook is. What will make it stand out in the category? Otherwise, it's more of a genre romance, with a formula.
ReplyDeleteBrenda ND, I liked this pitch a lot, but we publish only in the romance category. If this is fantasy romance and meets my criteria, please send a full submission to me at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com. If it's for the sci-fi/fantasy category, you might want to pitch it to Tor.
ReplyDeleteBrenda ND: The pitch for your dark gothic romance is good, but I'm unsure that zombies are going to work in the romance category.
ReplyDeleteCoralie, Hawkswold Priory sounds interesting. Please send a full submission to my colleague Shana Drehs: shana.drehs@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteShe's the more appropriate editor for it.
csaxby, this is a solid, competent pitch, but I'm not seeing the hook that will make the book stand out in the category.
ReplyDeleteSarah, thank you for pitching your hook. It's nicely lyrical, but still doesn't communicate why the book will sell--what makes this a MUST READ in the category?
ReplyDeleteDebbie Christiana, this pitch lays out the book clearly, but I don't see what the hook is. Women's Fiction is even harder to sell because it's such a crowded category--you're competing with Jodi Picoult and Annie Proulx and Jane Green...I'm not quite getting what makes this book a MUST READ.
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteThank you for looking at my pitches. I am going to go back and see what I am doing wrong on the "Hook" part. I feel my story is good, I guess I just don't know how to get it across.
I hope you won't mind if I try again when and if you offer this chance again.
Sarah Hoss, yes, please send your pitch to me directly at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDelete