Monday, April 26, 2010

Sex is funny

By: Lydia Dare

Sex is funny.

Oh, yes, it is. Admit it. It’s hilarious at times. Sure, it’s sweet, romantic, moving. Then there are those moments when you get a cramp in your thigh or in your big toe. Or there’s a noise no one would ever classify as romantic. Yes, those things happen. And they are funny. Maybe not in the moment, but afterward. Just thinking about it now makes me laugh.

Now that A Certain Wolfish Charm is on the shelves and my friends and family members have read the (dramatic whisper here) SEX SCENES, I do have to tell you that the funniest thing about sex is when people ask that fateful question. Yes, you know what it is. It happens more often than not, and I feel certain almost every romance writer has heard it.

“Where do you get the ideas for the hot parts?” Or “How much of THAT was based on your own experiences?”

Here’s one thing I know to be true -- My husband pats himself on the back when he has a friend at work tell him that his wife read the book and said it was HOT. Because there’s a bit of an implied meaning that he had something to do with it.

Now, that’s funny. lol

Even my sister brought it up the other day. “My boss wants to know how much of this was based on personal experience.”

“All of it, Dufus,” I replied with an eye roll.

A better response, now that I’ve had time to roll it around in my mind, would been – “Well… the last time I was claimed by a Lycan under the light of the full moon, I just had to get out my pen and paper and take some notes so I wouldn’t forget the event. Aren’t you glad I was prepared enough and had enough digits that weren’t busy to chronicle the event, saving it for future generations to read about?”

Mark Twain put a boy on a raft on a river with a man in one of his books. Yes, Mark Twain was a riverboat captain at one time, so he had been on a river before, but the actual story was fiction. (You’re seeing the parallel here, right?) It came from his imagination, just like stories evolve for any writer. I’d love to know if anyone asked Mark Twain how much of his fiction was based on his real life. “Did you ever wear a dress and disguise yourself as a girl, Mr. Clements?”

There’s a lot of life that goes into a novel. And every life has those moments that are so absurd you just have to laugh. The best humor can be found in the most classic, most lifelike moments, those moments that mimic what most of us consider to be normal, everyday life.

Sex is funny. People’s reaction to sex is funny. Having sex is funny, if you do it right. And even funnier if you do it wrong.


  1. And here I was wondering if you had lived in a castle-like home and rode around in a horse-drawn carriage. LOL

    It just goes to show that your writing is so engrossing that the reader considered Lycan humans. They are so caught up in the story they've forgotten that the steamy sex scene is with a werewolf.

    Looking forward to the next steamy sex scenes in TALL, DARK AND WOLFISH.

  2. I've certainly heard that question before, and my response is, "Yes, I've done every bit of it! Had sex with aliens and everything!!!!!
    Great post, Lydia!

  3. This was great, very funny, and a great way to start a Monday, with a laugh! I've read A Certain Wolfish Charm, did it in one day to, I couldn't put it down, it's a great book. Waiting impatiently for the other two!

    Please Lydia, keep writing, you do a great job!

  4. My husband likes to tell people he's the guy on the cover.

  5. Great post, Lydia!

    Shana--my boyfriend likes to tell people that as well!!

  6. And here I thought you had this great country house I could party at.

    Man, I'm devastated.

    I love humor mixed in with my romance. I'm waiting for Ben's story since it is so close...but I still can't wait to get Will's story. I expect a lot of snark.

  7. Great blog post!

    I tend to approach the writing of sex scenes by thinking, "what's the most unsexy scenario I can put these characters in?" and then somehow figuring out a way to make it sexy.

    It also helps having a husband who's willing to pretend to get it on with me in the car just so I can make sure everything uh...lines up properly. Can't beat that sort of research!

    Thanks for the excellent post!


  8. Yes, my husband is so Mr. Darcy that he now wears knee breeches and tall Hessian boots everywhere we go. In fact, he NEVER takes them off! *wink


    Just say "yes" to these questions, that is my advice.

    I like writing funny sex scenes. As you say, leg cramps or whatever, those are part of life. I think my fav was when Lizzy and Darcy started getting frisky on a narrow sofa. Just as it was getting to the good part they tumbled to the ground. My vivid imagination had fun describing how that looked!

    Great post!

  9. “Well… the last time I was claimed by a Lycan under the light of the full moon, I just had to get out my pen and paper and take some notes so I wouldn’t forget the event..."

    Hilarious, Lydia! :)

  10. I love your responses to people's questions about the... er... intimate scenes in the book. Does this mean I get to boast about my exploits with a 14th century Highlander? Woo hoo!

  11. I've had similar comments about my sex scenes, Lydia, so I love this post!

  12. husband got this very question tonight at a little boy's birthday party :)

    Love the post.

  13. So funny,Lydia! I know what you mean about the questions. All my girlfriends are looking at me differently now that they've read my first published romance novel - and they're sneaking looks at Scrape, too. He doesn't mind a bit!