Thursday, April 22, 2010

Happy Earth Day. What's so funny about that?

This month's topic is humor, but since today is also Earth Day, I feel compelled to include both in this post.

So, what's funny about Earth Day? Absolutely nuthin'. Oh, I've heard jokes about penguins fighting polar bears as they float toward the equator on icebergs, but is global warming something to poke fun at? Probably not. So, I boiled it down to a personal level and figured I'd tell you about my--ahem--skills as a gardener.

I'm in the enviable(?) position of having plenty of room for gardens. When we moved in here, the previous owners had already planted bulbs that sprout into a gorgeous spring garden each year. Since that was none of my doing, I can't take credit for it...but I can take credit for the genius solution I came up with to take care of the aftermath once it all dies. Being the lazy-ass gardener I am, I simply have my husband mow it! Yup, it becomes part of the lawn again. See? Genius!

Now, I had to put in another garden because the plow guy rips up part of the lawn every winter. We tried to replant the grass there one year and threw our hands up in defeat the following spring when that patch was just bare dirt again. What did I do? I hired the plow guy's son to come over and edge it, and now it's my "annuals garden." His dad can plow it up to his heart's content each winter and it just turns the earth over for the next year's marigolds and begonias. Yup, I'm a genius all right.

Third garden...oh yes. We have one more. Our house can't be seen from the street and people used to miss the 550 foot long driveway, even with the mailbox out there. A garden would proclaim "Hey, somebody lives here" but the problem was getting water that far away from the house. So, I planted a xeroscape garden. What's that? It's made up of plants that need zero watering and care once they're in the ground for a year. I live in a temperate climate, and there are plenty of drought tolerant plants that do really well. I have two overgrown juniper bushes at the back, between them, a row of lilacs that are too close together and need to be thinned. A redbud tree front and center, a St. John's wort on it's right (the plow guy gave that a haircut this year) and some yarrow and day lilies on the left.
For fall color, I interspersed some black-eyed Susans and asters. Cool, huh?

Well, my downfall is weeding all these gardens. I'm usually way too busy writing, promoting, running errands, and keeping up with the housework (yeah, right.) However, on the rare occasion that I get really, really angry, I weed. I picture the hair of whomever I'm mad at as I rrriiiiip up the weeds. (Hee hee) It works. I get my anger out in a healthy way, and my yard looks better for it. Unfortunately, the happier I am, the crappier my yard looks.

So, does anyone else have any genius ways of dealing with mother nature? (Or plow guys?) Let's hear them! I know I'm not the only genius here.

Ash

12 comments:

  1. Water thoroughly! I've been pulling weeds when I have time, but with all the rains we've had, it's made it much easier, and getting them up by the roots is the only way to go. But also, some of those weed killers helps to stop them from getting a hold and I need to start spraying to get a handle on this thing! :) I should have done it earlier... *sigh* Isn't that always the way???

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  2. ground cover works wonders to weed out the weeds. I have no idea what the pretty feather yellow flowers I've planted are, b/c my neighbor was cutting hers back and we have a huge bed in the front that was costing me a fortune to mulch (not to mention back pain). These things are like wildfire and so darn pretty! They still haven't filled in as much as I'd like, so we're still mulching but between them and the hostas I've edged the bed with, mulching and weeding has been significantly reduced. I figure by the time we're ready to move, the beds should be self-sustaining.

    When I was planning our beds, I planned a color scheme (red, yellow and green) and a "burst" scheme - when the color would come out/plants grow - so I always have something pretty going on.

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  3. You are a genius! I've given up on gardening because I kill everything. But maybe with some of your genius tactics, plants could even survive in my presence. Thanks!

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  4. You are a genius and WAY more energetic than me. My poor yard looks like Vietnam and will stay that way for a while longer since it is non-stop raining here. I guess that is my contribution to Earth Day - allowing the bushes and weeds to take over! But, I know it must be tackled eventually and I am dreading it like the plague. Mowing it all down isn't a bad idea, but somehow I don't think my hubby's Honda power mulcher can manage! Better yet, I'll get my strapping 6'3" son out there! :)

    Happy Earth Day everyone!

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  5. Oh, my yard is a mess too. We have a lawn service, but they just mow and edge. They don't pull weeds or trim bushes or plant flowers in my barren window box. In fact, we're thinking of moving to a town house so we don't have a lawn to deal with at all!

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  6. My last couple of houses have been surrounded by maple trees under which nothing will grow. I've pretty much given up in- the-ground gardening, but I can't let it go completely so I garden in pots now.

    The good thing about pots is that it takes two or three years for weeds to get established in them, and by that time, the potting soil needs to be replaced anyway. Also if I have a "crop failure" (as I did with my pansies this winter) it's simpler to find substitutions.

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  7. Gracious, an entire garden! I can't keep one single plant alive, Ash! :}

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  8. When I lived in Idaho I had quite a vegetable garden. It was perfect, DH put a watering system in that went on by itself every day because in Boise, if you don't water it, it doesn't grow. I threw lettuce seeds down everwhere there weren't plants so it kept down the weeds and I got to pick lettuce instead of weeds. Yay! One year I had over 300 pounds of tomatos, god only knows how much corn, tons of pole peas and beans, and everything else you can imagine. It was grand and relatively sweat free which always works for me since I really hate to sweat.

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  9. Garden? No way, Not going to do it. I had to as a child and young teen as my mom always had a vegetable garden every spring and summer and even a fall garden too. I don't have to work in the earth to appreicate Earth Day.
    Amelia

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  10. I really like the idea of a vegetable garden, Robin, but I'm the only one who eats veggies! At least we have a farmer's market nearby. They taste way better if home grown.

    I almost forgot to tell you all about my herb garden! I forgot all about it because it's so effortless. Herbs are perennial and since it's protected by a stone wall, the plow guy can't touch it. LOL.

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  11. LOL on the pulling weeds when you're mad at someone, Ash!

    We used to have a terraced back yard, and in the corner of the top terrace there grew a nasty little thorn bush (pyracantha with the red berries in winter). Every time the ex and I would have a fight, I'd take the clippers up there and attack the thorn bush. Luckily we moved before the divorce or the thorn bush would never have survived!

    AC
    who kills most plants with great regularity

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  12. I really appreciate gardens and it sounds like you have some nice ones! I must confess thoug that I am death to plants. Basically the plant needs to take care of itself to survive in my yard. That's why I love bulbs. You put them in the ground, forget about them, then in spring up they come with no effort on my part. Now that's my kind of plant!

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