This month's topic is humor, but since today is also Earth Day, I feel compelled to include both in this post.
So, what's funny about Earth Day? Absolutely nuthin'. Oh, I've heard jokes about penguins fighting polar bears as they float toward the equator on icebergs, but is global warming something to poke fun at? Probably not. So, I boiled it down to a personal level and figured I'd tell you about my--ahem--skills as a gardener.
I'm in the enviable(?) position of having plenty of room for gardens. When we moved in here, the previous owners had already planted bulbs that sprout into a gorgeous spring garden each year. Since that was none of my doing, I can't take credit for it...but I can take credit for the genius solution I came up with to take care of the aftermath once it all dies. Being the lazy-ass gardener I am, I simply have my husband mow it! Yup, it becomes part of the lawn again. See? Genius!
Now, I had to put in another garden because the plow guy rips up part of the lawn every winter. We tried to replant the grass there one year and threw our hands up in defeat the following spring when that patch was just bare dirt again. What did I do? I hired the plow guy's son to come over and edge it, and now it's my "annuals garden." His dad can plow it up to his heart's content each winter and it just turns the earth over for the next year's marigolds and begonias. Yup, I'm a genius all right.
Third garden...oh yes. We have one more. Our house can't be seen from the street and people used to miss the 550 foot long driveway, even with the mailbox out there. A garden would proclaim "Hey, somebody lives here" but the problem was getting water that far away from the house. So, I planted a xeroscape garden. What's that? It's made up of plants that need zero watering and care once they're in the ground for a year. I live in a temperate climate, and there are plenty of drought tolerant plants that do really well. I have two overgrown juniper bushes at the back, between them, a row of lilacs that are too close together and need to be thinned. A redbud tree front and center, a St. John's wort on it's right (the plow guy gave that a haircut this year) and some yarrow and day lilies on the left.
For fall color, I interspersed some black-eyed Susans and asters. Cool, huh?
Well, my downfall is weeding all these gardens. I'm usually way too busy writing, promoting, running errands, and keeping up with the housework (yeah, right.) However, on the rare occasion that I get really, really angry, I weed. I picture the hair of whomever I'm mad at as I rrriiiiip up the weeds. (Hee hee) It works. I get my anger out in a healthy way, and my yard looks better for it. Unfortunately, the happier I am, the crappier my yard looks.
So, does anyone else have any genius ways of dealing with mother nature? (Or plow guys?) Let's hear them! I know I'm not the only genius here.