Thursday, February 18, 2010

Love is...

I write about love nearly every day. That sweeping, pulse-pounding, heart-stopping love that happens when you’ve first met your soul mate. I write about heroes and heroines who are larger than life. Who even lay down their lives for love of each other. But in real life, it isn’t very often that we’re required to make such a sacrifice. But sometimes I think what love requires of us in everyday life can be even harder and just as beautiful. It’s all those little things that truly define what love is, and so I’ve compiled my own list of examples of love, and because it’s a broad scope, I included more than romantic love.

Love is…

An eighty-year-old man who looks at his eighty-two-year old wife and says “You’re even more beautiful now than the day I met you.”

When your son gives you a hug because you’ve had a horrible day.

When you call your sister at work and tell her that your father had a stroke while on vacation and her first response is “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. You pack, I’ll call the plane for reservations…for both of us.”

A man who follows a five-pound dog around the yard at midnight, waiting for the dog to go potty, because the little dog just had surgery and anesthesia, and might fall over and pull the stitches. (The same man who swore he’d never own a dog small enough to be carried off by a hawk.)

When your son tells you that he’s moving out, and you tell him that you’re so proud of him for being independent, and excited for the start of his new life--when all you really want to do is hold onto him, cry, and beg him not to leave.

When you ask your mother, “Isn’t he the most beautiful, smartest baby you’ve ever seen?” And your mother answers, “Yes.” And means it.

When your friend cries harder than you at your father’s funeral. For your loss.

When you stay up all night with your child because they have a fever.

When the touch of your hand makes a child feel better…no prescription required.

When you would make a deal with the devil himself to take away the pain and suffering of someone you cherish.

When you’d rather suffer the pain instead of someone you love.

That huge boulder sitting on your chest, robbing you of the ability to think or breathe, when you lose someone you love.

That contented, joyous feeling after making love to the same person for the thousandth time.

When your child says, “You look tired, Mom. Let me take care of that for you.”

A man who buys you chocolates…just to see the look of bliss on your face when you open them.

Someone you can call at any time to ask for help or advice. And always gives it.

A friend who listens to you…and never judges.

A man who says, “I don’t care what anybody else thinks. Your opinion is what matters to me.”

I’m going to stop now, only because I would like to hear what “Love is…” to you.



  1. Lovely post, Kathryn. I LOVE it! :) When I lost my mother last year, love was receiving the beautiful bouquet of flowers from both the staff of Sourcebooks and from the Casa Babes. It meant the world to me, and still does.

  2. Great post! You really know what love is! I couldn't have said it better.

  3. Oh Kathryne! You brought me to tears. I never read a more beautiful "love is" list.

    Love is a non-writer friend who WANTS to drive one and one-half hours to my RWA chapter meeting and listen to me talk about plot all the way there.

  4. Hi Terry! What a wonderful show of empathy and concern. I can understand why it meant so much to you. My warmest wishes.

    Shana, So very sweet. Thank you.

    Mary Margaret, I love your addition to the list. What a wonderful friend! Writers usually understand what we need, but it's unusual for someone who doesn't write to offer such unfailing support. That one's a keeper. :}

  5. Nice post, Kathryn! Some of those made me tear up - in a good way. And I loved the one about the five-pound dog. My mother says she knew Ken was the man for me when she saw that he not only puts up with my Jack Russell - he loves her!
    He puts up with the long hours I spend writing, too, and encourages me to do it even when we'd both rather be doing something together. I'll bet we all have supportive men behind our books, as well as inside them - and that's love!

  6. So very true, Joanne! There's an old saying that behind every man is a supportive woman. I think that the reverse is certainly true...especially for romance writers.

    So very glad the tears were good ones. :}

  7. My dad used to cut out those little "Love is" cartoons and leave them on my mom's placement some mornings--very cute. This post reminded me of those, because they focused on all types of love. Great post!

  8. Thank you, Danielle!
    Your dad sounds very special. :}

  9. Kathryne, that list is fabulous and brought tears to my eyes as well. Love is indeed the "small" moments when we realize the full depth of our feelings. I am sure I could think of many to add, but will leave it as is.

  10. How beautiful! A few of these choked me up a little.

    Love is . . . cleaning your loved one's ears with your tongue (I'm watching my dogs, it's not THAT icky!)


  11. Love is my dad hugging my cat even though he hated cats.

    Love is Barney giving me kisses on the nose.

    Love is my husband holding my hand for no reason at all.

  12. Great post, Kathryn! Love comes in so many forms and means different things to different people, but you covered most of them.

  13. I came close to tears while reading your wonderful words. Thanks, you brightened my month! Thank You Kathryne, I love your books too!

  14. WONDERFUL Post, Kathryne, and you brought tears to my eyes on of few of those also!

    I absolutely agree about having a supportive "other" standing behind us in our writing careers. I know my own DH has been GREAT in that respect!


  15. I'm glad it resonated with you, Sharon.

    LOL, Tawna! That was awesome!

    Aw, Linda. I love yours!

    Good to hear, Cheryl. :}

    Oh, Jessica, you just made my month! Thank you for the kind words.

    AC: No doubt he has helped you to be so successful.

  16. Oh wow. Lots of memories there. Beautiful!

  17. Katherine

    What a beautiful post so true in everyone of those lines.
    Love is everything you have said and yes being there for whoever needs you at the time and being a good listner because sometimes that is all that people need.

    Have Fun

  18. Thanks, Sheila!

    Hi Helen! Great to hear from you. :}

  19. Very sweet - thank you for a lovely post.

    I resonate with Joanne about the important roll of spouses. For me, love is my husband doing dishes every night so I can have time to write. He may not wear a kilt, but he's my hero (and I'm working on the kilt).