Thursday, October 15, 2009

Domestic Heroes

Since Robin has her Domestic God, and I’m writing this while eating the dinner my husband cooked and served me in my office, I figured that he’s such a good guy, he needs his own title. And since I dedicate all my books to my own personal hero, Domestic Hero is perfect for him.

My husband would be the first person to be embarrassed to have not only this title, but also a blog post dedicated to him. He’s more than content to give me the spotlight. I think that’s why this writing for publication thing has worked out so well over the years.

See, he’s the one who found Romance Writers of America for me. I’d written my first story, but had no idea what to do with it from there. I had no idea about imprints, or who published what, or how to get an agent. No clue about POV, and inciting incident, or what a black moment was. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I had some innate sense of building up to a crisis, but as for what it was called… pfft.

I had no idea you couldn’t head-hop (in the same paragraph), or that you weren’t supposed to give twenty pages of scene-setting and backstory. But I had this story, knew I wanted to give writing a shot, so I sat my butt down with my #2 pencils and spiral notebooks (how I wrote before I had a laptop), and started working on the next Great American Novel.

He's always encouraged me to follow my dream and he found my local chapter. I think he even emailed the president and got the info. He handed it to me and said, “I’ll watch the kids. Go.”

So I went. (Yeah, maybe the “watching the kids” part was part of the appeal!) I came back from that meeting jazzed about joining, about their contest and about the national conference. And he, God love him, told me again, “I’ll watch the kids. Go.”

Now, once a month, we have that same conversation. “I’ll watch the kids. Go.” And off I go to my chapter meeting.

He brings me meals to make sure I remember to eat. He brings me fruit, water, juice, cashews during the day. He cleans and would do the laundry if I’d let him. (One too many gray bras put the kibosh on that.) He shuttles kids to work/friends/school/practice for me. He picks up things at the grocery store and drops off his own dry cleaning. All of this amid travelling for his demanding job.

Sounding a lot like a Domestic God, doesn’t he? I’ll leave that title to Stephen, but my husband is my own personal hero. He believed in me more than I did. He was the driving force behind this - if he was willing to do all those yucky chores, how could I not give this my all?

And the ironic thing was, it wasn’t until In Over Her Head was published that he even read one of my stories, and he almost didn’t read that.

It was okay; I don’t necessarily enjoy the stuff he reads. But when one of his neighbor buddies started reading it and said how much he enjoyed it, Hubs figured he’d better see what it was all about.

He’s always said, “It’s great, Jude,” or “Of course you finaled in that contest,” or “Of course Editor X requested it; why wouldn’t they?” and "Of course you'll be published." But he gave me the best compliment when he finished In Over Her Head. He looked at me and asked, “So can I read the next one now?”

He's my hero because of his unflagging support, encouragement and belief in me. For the things he does so that I can make my dream come true. For showing our kids what a good friend, partner and spouse is. I couldn't have done it without his support.

I found out today that Wild Blue Under, which launches Nov 1, is not only in the warehouse, but it’s shipped, and my author copies are on their way. Looks like Hubs should have something new to read for the weekend.

So, who’s your hero?


  1. My husband. He puts up with me and has always supported me and I just plain couldn't live without him.

  2. What a lovely tribute, Judi! I have too many heros (and heroines!) to name. You're one of them. Thanks for helping to turn this Writer in Denial, into someone with an actual MS! Your hubs sounds perfect (and much like my own!) Maybe they should get together and start a support group--with topics like "The Care and Feeding of a Romance Writer". LOL!

  3. Hi Judi,
    Like you, my husband is my hero. He supports me in everything I want to do. He takes my writing seriously, something no one else in the family has done.

    I love this tribute to your Domestic Hero, it shows the great love you two share.

    Like Kat I think there should be a support grouup for these terrific fellows.

    Have a great day today.

    Brought a nice fluffy scarf. In blue to match your eyes.heh

    The Knitwitt

  4. Judy, you wouldn't want to share, would you? JK. My husband is my hero. He may not run the kids around, housework, or grocery shop, but he works his butt off to make sure we have a roof over our heads. I was worried how things would be once the kids started leaving the nest. Would we have to re-introduce ourselves, that kind of thing. But when I wake up on the middle of the night and his fingers are entwined with mine, I know we'll be fine. Having his love and support (Lord knows he's the first one to ask why I'm not writing) means the world.

  5. Judi,
    Since you look younger than me I'm going to assume you are, therefore your husband must be younger than mine. :-) So all I can say is my husband must have taught yours all he knows. You described my husband perfectly! Down to not reading anything I'd written until my first book was published and that was almost 20 years ago.
    Wonderful post. I feel like you wrote it for you and me! :-)

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  7. Hi Judi~

    I think my hero is a heroine. My hero is my daughter, Izzy. She's spunky, doesn't let anything stop her and has accomplished so much in her 12 years, she's just amazing. But then I like to thing of my DH and all three of my kids as my heroes since they're all so supportive and understanding. Not to mention hopeful that I'll hit the Times list and buy them each cars.

  8. Judi

    I'm impressed by all your husband does, and to the other ladies also. My husband is very non-supportive, so all you are blessed. Enjoy your domestic heroes. I'm going to make my husband read Judi's blog.

    As for my own heroes, I'm like Robin. My heroes are heroines, namely several writers I know who never gave up the dream and kept writing and writing through rejection after rejection until they finally landed those big contracts.

    Carolyn Matkowsky/Cara Marsi

  9. Judi, would you consider cloning him?

  10. Judi--Since you didn't mention it, I will. Your hubby is good-looking, too. What a winning combination! :)

    I have to say that my husband is also my biggest supporter and unflagging patron. There's nothing he wouldn't do for me and I'm lucky to have him.


  11. Thanks for stopping by, everyone! Yeah, he's a keeper. As for cloning him... hmmm, that could lead to some verrrrry interesting adventures, don't you think?

    I love hearing how supportive other husbands are, and my condolences to your, Carolyn. I can't imagine how you do it w/o that support - just makes me admire you even more!

    And, Robin, you have such an inspiration in Izzy that I'll have to add her to my list of heroes. She definitely is!

  12. Awww. What a wonderful thing to hear a wife say about her husband, Judi. I think someone should send it to him so he sees how much you appreciate and love him. *tapping my chin

    Heroes are important to have in this world. :-) We have to have someone to pattern our MC's on.

  13. Just a warning, when, and I mean when, I finally get to meet you in person if Hubs is there he gets a big hug and kiss. I'm touchy feely like that Judi.

    So sweet and you're right. He deserves a shining, golden moment for all that he does just being Mr. Fennell.

  14. Shipped already! Cool, and congrats. And what a hero you've found. Loved your post.

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  16. Great post, Judi. You've got a fine man.

  17. It sounds like he's one in a million, congrats for finding him. Great post.