Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Real-life Hero

by Malena Lott

I'll admit I've always been in love with love. Crushes. First dates. First kisses. I love you's. What not to love about love, however fleeting? 

I've been blessed in real-life with a really romantic guy. When we met at the University of Oklahoma, he was shy and charming and I was really caught up in my social life - particularly all that my sorority had to offer. My heart had been broken many, many times, which is an unfortunate side effect of dating a lot and falling in love probably too easily. When Rod and I became an item at the end of my junior year in college, I wasn't ready to settle down, but I was hopeful. When two guys from my past called me for a 4th of July dates that summer, I was thrilled I could tell them that I was dating someone new - someone I really liked. 

We went to the Grand Canyon that summer and slept in a tent, something we haven't done since. But it was a great test of our relationship - all those hours in the car together and just us against the world. Would we fit? Could we last? 

This summer marks our fifteenth wedding anniversary. The good news is I'm still very in love with him, and we both work at keeping each other happy. He brings me little gifts. We write each other lovey text messages. We don't have a regular date night, though I'd love to start that, but we do treasure spending time away from our little darlings. 

In my writing, I do get a rich fantasy life. I do fall in love with my characters and get to experience whole new worlds with them. For anyone reading this, try writing a love story instead of having an affair. I think it will be more rewarding and less damaging. 

This Valentine's Day I'm wishing you all deep and lasting love, the kind that sweeps you off your feet, even for just a night - hopefully between the covers, too. And you can always get more of that great high of falling in love between the pages of a great book.


  1. Congratulations, Malena! In this day and age, finding a marriage that's lasted and remains both committed AND romantic is a gift. I'm going on 26 years with my Real-life Hero. I might love the heroes in my books but I'd probably kill them if I had to live with them in real life. Happy Valentine's Day! May your romance only grow with time.

  2. I loved your article Malena. It's nice to see a relationship in good standing and you're right it takes conscious work to keep it romantic--especially with kids.

    Good point too on writing love stories as opposed to affaires. I've always look at erotica as fantasy/affaires. Writing a romance should be about falling in love, the trials and tribulations of the trip and a happy ending.

    Silver James said..."I might love the heroes in my books but I'd probably kill them if I had to live with them in real life."

    Isn't that the truth? lolol!

  3. How lovely, Malena. Thank you for sharing that. The elemental sweetness of what you expressed brought a tear to my eye.

    I also had to laugh. Surviving the camping trip is sometimes the acid test of whether a relationship is workable or not.

  4. What a wonderful story, Malena, and perfect for Valentine's Day! Thanks for sharing!

  5. Very touching, Malena!!! And perfect right before Valentines! :)

  6. Great post, Malena. Stephen and I are going on 20 years and he still makes me melt.

    I still find it amazing to see how many romance writers are very happily married. Maybe there's something to the idea that reading and writing romance is like having a virtual affair.

    Robin :)

  7. Super sweet, Malena! Thanks for sharing, and congrats on having found such a good match. You're a braver woman than I am, though...I think that if Brian and I went camping together, only one of us would walk away from it, LOL:-) Maybe that's the true secret of our almost 11 years..."no camping"!

  8. Thanks for the comments, gals. When I posted this link on Facebook and Twitter Rod found it and texted me what a nice surprise that was! I told him it was my public Valentine's gift to him. He'll get the personal one, you know, personally.

  9. Hi Malena,
    I've been married to my sweetie for thirty years. Still love him and probably always will. Most of my heroes have some elements of him in them, which makes me love him all the more.
    Happy Valentine's day to you and your sweetie!

  10. Lovely post, Malena. Happy Valentine's Day!