Saturday, February 14, 2009

My Funny Valentine


By Robin Kaye


I’m a romance writer. I live, eat and breathe romance—especially when I’m on deadline. But in my life, I can’t say that Valentine’s Day has been anything but anti-climactical. (Is that a word? If it’s not, I choose to make it one. That’s one of the perks of being a writer.)

When I was single, Valentine’s Day was the equivalent of a ticking time bomb. I felt extreme pressure to get a date, a boyfriend, and/or a love life. Once I did get one of the above, then I felt pressure to buy just the right gift and/or card. This was always tricky because it was dependent upon what stage the relationship was in on February 14th. Now, I don’t know about you, but my relationship stage knowledge was invariably flawed. Should I buy a card with the ‘L’ word on it? Should I get one about sex? Friendship? Or just go with the funny card to be safe? Then there was the whole gift question. How would he feel about a pair of white silk boxers with red lips all over them? Would he like flowers? Chocolate? Or should I just go, depending on the stage of the relationship, buy myself a sexy nighty and call it good? Quantum physics seemed like playing shoots and ladders compared to buying a Valentine’s Day present for the man in my life.

Did Valentine’s Day get easier after marriage? Yes, probably because my husband and I look at it the same way. We figure that if you have to go all out one day a year to prove you love the person you’re sharing your life with, then you’re not doing your job the other 364 days of the year.

I’m very lucky. I have everything I’ve ever wanted. I have a loving husband, a comfortable home, three amazing children and a career I adore. I try never to leave my husband and children without a hug, a kiss and an I Love You. I’d much rather my husband come home with flowers on any other day of the year just because he thought I’d like them. I’d rather he bring me coffee every morning and wake me with a kiss then buy me a three-karat diamond for Valentine’s Day and not treat me like a treasure every other day of the year. But since he does treat me like a treasure and there’s nothing wrong with dreaming, if he had a lot of extra cash and picked up a nice diamond because he thought I’d like it, I wouldn’t ask him to return it—even if it was on Valentine’s Day.

My wish for you is that every day is Valentine’s Day. If that were true, the world would be a much better place.

What do you want for Valentine’s Day?

13 comments:

  1. Absolutely, Robin. No way would I return the diamond, either ;-)

    I, too, believe whole-heartedly it's those other 364 days of the year that truly count. My darling brings me breakfast in bed or a coffee when I'm stuck at the computer. He brings home chocolates or champagne "just because". It's all the little things every day that are so special.

    And I did once send him a dozen red roses to the airforce base where he worked. He loved that :-)

    And the Valentine's Day I remember the most was when I flew down for the weekend, expecting to stay in some average motel, and he surprised me with a stay at the Park Royal, handmade chocolates, and a horse-drawn carriage to a very romantic restaurant. Sigh...it's little wonder I married him.

    Happy Valentine's Day!
    @)>-%---

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  2. I rejoice with you in that honey of yours, and I certainly agree that it's the love everyday that matters.

    The man I married was a good man, a sweet man, a caring man who would never,ever do you wrong, and I loved him dearly--but he couldn't wrap his mind around the romantic gesture on ANY day of the year.

    Surprise me with a diamond ring? Snort. I had to make him a list (a short one) of acceptable special occasion presents.

    But you know what? He always brought me a Valentine card--although he didn't always remember to sign it :-)--just because he knew I wanted one.

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  3. Aww Mary Margaret! That's so sweet!

    Maree, I'm glad you agree.

    Happy Valentine's Day everyone! I'm off to a book signing 4 1/2 hours away and won't be back until late tonight. I'll hit a few Starbucks and try to check in.

    I hope your day is a happy one!

    Best,

    Robin :)

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  4. I'm the same way, Robin. I never leave the house without a kiss or a hug or an I love you from any of my guys.

    One day a year doesn't cut it.

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  5. Robin - I like your sentiment about not wanting to be treated special on one day of the year if you're not doing it the other 364. I am such a sap, and a romantic, and cry at silly things like the singing of the National Anthem, and a list of people who served our country from the county in Luray Caverns, that you'd think I'd be all over Valentine's Day. Nope. A card does me just fine. I don't want him to spend twice the amount of money on flowers. I know he loves me, he knows I love him and tonight (since he's been gone all week) we'll probably watch some goofy movie that makes us laugh, play Apples to Apples with the kids and enjoy the family that we created together. THat's the HEA in my world.

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and Stephen!

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  6. Tell Stephen, my second husband, that since he does NOT treat me like a treasure every other day, I will expect a three-carat diamond from him today. LOL! I hope you two have a lovely Valentine's Day. I woke up to a dozen red roses and a card from my DH that had a monkey sitting on a toilet on the inside. It also managed to toss in an "I love you." Ahhh, the magic of Hallmark. I did laugh my ass off, so there's that...

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  7. I know it's unrelated to the blog article, but I wanted to say congratulations to the pitch contest winners! There was lots of competition, and I loved Kelsey's entry! And to the two runners up, congratulation as well. Though unnamed here, they were Julie J for Decoding Deception and Renee for Hellion's Highlander. Very nicely done ladies! Wishing you every success in the future!

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  8. Robin, I'm the same way. Don't give me flowers just 3 occasions of the year just because it's what *everyone* else does. Cherishing and special should be everyday. The unexpected gift of flowers, just because, it better than anything.

    My husband does lots of special things, cooks breakfast for me on the weekends, helps with things around the house, takes me out to dinner. It's everyday actions that counts.

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  9. I am very blessed in this respect. My husband is so over the top - all the time but especially on any holiday - that I actually have the converse problem of keeping him within reasonable limits. I mean, who ends up having to deal with the expense aftermath, ya know? But despite that side of the issue, he is so fabulous that I know I can't complain. And when I do complain about the extravagant gifts when a simple dinner out would have sufficed? Those friends who have a husband lacking the tiniest romantic bone in their body want to kill me!

    But true romance IS more than just the flowers or gift or card on a calendar date of import. It is being there and telling you he loves you every other day. That is what I am truly blessed to have.

    Glad you have it too Robin! I can't wait to someday meet the famous Mr. Robin!

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  10. Valentine's Day is just the icing on the cake. Same here, it's nice when my husband brings up my coffee for me and leaves it on the cup warmer for when I wake up.

    And when he offers to do the laundry even if I hear (for the millionth time) "now what setting do I use?"

    Linda

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  11. Ah well. My husband will be coming home next week.

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  12. Great story, Robin. Thanks for making Valentine's Day even sweeter!

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  13. Great posting, Robin! :) We went to see Last of the Red Hot Mamas. Man looking for an affair to add a little excitement to his life, but none of the women he took up to his mama's apt suited. In the end he's stuck with trying to make something work with his decent wife but it's left at, it's the same old lousy relationship. Really lousy play. LOL I'll stick to the romances I love to read! In those, the heroes are always the best!

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