Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Because You Asked...

After my last blog entitled “What I’ve Learned Since I Got ‘The Call,’” Carla requested the following: “For your next blog, how about telling us how your own Domestic God made all these changes in your life that much more bearable?” After several others jumped on the bandwagon, I did just that.

After thinking long and hard, here are a few of the ways my Domestic God makes almost everything in my life more bearable—the ones I can write about, anyway.

-> My Domestic God wakes me up every morning with a smile and a cup of
coffee. I choose to believe he does this because I’m worth it. He tells me
he does it because he loves me—and because of that pesky safety issue.
I’m downright scary until after I’ve had my coffee. The man has learned
the importance of buying great coffee and has extraordinary coffee-
making ability. It’s a gift.

-> Laundry and cleaning: Before I began writing seriously, my Domestic God
did laundry only when he was in fear of having to wear his “emergency
spare” pair of underwear—the dreaded Christmas Tigger boxers which,
in his estimation, were not only embarrassing, but very uncomfortable.
But I digress.

In case you are unaware, cleaning and laundry are my nemesis. As a
stay-at-home mom, I did my fair share of both. Okay, I’ll admit, I did as little
of my fair share as possible. Still, I did more cleaning and laundry than
anyone should be subject to in a lifetime.

When I began working toward publication, my Domestic God sat me down
and told me he’d been thinking. He’d decided that writing and taking care
of the kids were two full-time jobs. Since he only had one job, it was only
fair that he take over the cleaning and laundry. After he revived me from
my dead faint, he got very lucky.

-> Childcare: It’s understood that Domestic Gods either take over childcare
responsibilities when they come home from work or cook dinner. My
DG, while sufficient in the kitchen, is not the cook that I am. He always
took over the changing of diapers, bathing of kids, and telling of
bedtime stories while I cooked dinner. He regarded it as his quality time
with the kids. I regarded it as my quality time without them.

Until the kids were old enough to clean up after dinner, DG usually did
the dishes, too, God love him.

-> My Domestic God is willing to be brave and inconvenienced. He and
my son—DG-in-Training—are called upon to kill bugs and pick up dead
critters the cat drags in—even if it means driving home from work to
do so. My DG doesn’t understand why I can play with octopi and
snakes, deal with any amount of blood or medical procedures, not be
bothered by live mice and critters, but totally freak when I come in
contact with a dead mouse or squirrel, or worse, a not-quite-dead
mouse or squirrel. My Domestic God knows not to tease me about
my ick tolerance, and appreciates the opportunity to show his true
heroic qualities.

My DG in training has yet to learn either of those finer points.

-> I believe Domestic Gods must be handy around the house and with
cars or be willing to pay those who are.

It would behoove said DG to make sure whomever he hired be easy
on the eyes. I do so love a man in a tool-belt, but then, my DG has his
own tool-belt and can fix pretty much anything. He’s also easy on the
eyes, although these eyes wouldn’t mind some variety in dreamy
tool-belt-wearing men. Unfortunately, I’ll probably never get to drool
over another, but then I don’t have to deal with the guys who aren’t
so dreamy and have a penchant for showing off butt cleavage, either.

All the above is the honest to God truth, but I left out the most important
ways my Domestic God has made this journey bearable. He’s been my best
friend, my fiercest supporter, my biggest fan, my bullshit meter, and the
person with whom I celebrate all my successes and failures. And yes, we
celebrate failures. He’s taught me that you learn more from failures than

This adventure we’ve embarked upon is a learning experience, and I’m
going to make a lot of mistakes before I figure it all out. But in the end,
I know that whatever happens, my Domestic God will love and support
me through it all. That’s the most important quality in a Domestic God.


  1. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Robin, you're ONE LUCKY WOMAN! Your DG sounds like a saint. Now I want to know what drives you crazy about him. Come on, give the rest of us who are married to mere mortals a scrap of discontent. ANYTHING will do... underwear on the floor, shaving suds in the sink, something.... Or I might have to kill you when I see you in San Fran. :--) What do you complain about when you are out with your girlfriends? There has to be something or THEY would've killed you by now. LOL

  2. Sounds like you have it made, Robin. He sounds wonderful. I don't suppose you hire him out at all do you?

    Perhaps you could have him teach a required course for entry into manhood. lol

    Not that I'm complaining. My own dude has many good points and I wouldn't swop him for anything.

    Happy Canada Day.

  3. Hmm, if we could all be so lucky the world would be a much better place!

  4. WOW, Robin, what a guy! I'm pretty lucky, too, and I'm grateful.

  5. My guys aren't DG's, but sometimes, they do try.
    My friend, neighbor, and massage guru, Janet, keeps telling me I do too much for my guys and that they should do their share--and I should insist upon it!
    Two weeks ago, my horse threw me and my back has been killing me ever since. Finally, after watching me struggle with feeding and barn cleaning--not to mention the stress of two publishing deadlines in one week!--my oldest son and husband decided to take over those chores.
    Janet visited me last evening with a bottle of wine, and when I told her what they were doing for me, instead of being pleased, she fussed at me for letting them do it because I needed the exercise!
    Case in point: you can't please everyone--even when you do what they tell you to.

  6. My DH is definitely not perfect.

    He's incredibly stubborn. He asks me what I think about something and instead of disagreeing with me and compromising, he listens, nods at all the right times, and then does it his way. When I ask why be bothered asking what I thought, he says if my idea had been better than his, he'd have done it my way, but it wasn't.

    It's the most exasperating thing, especially when he chopped down my favorite tree because he felt it was too close to the neighbor's house, and would eventually die since it sat under 100-year-old Sycamores. When he mentioned what he'd planned to do, I said absolutely not. I had bird feeders in that tree (the only tree I could reach to hang the darn things.) I calmly explained that the neighbor's house was their problem, not ours--especially since they did the addition knowing the tree was there. And the tree was healthy and doing well. Everyone will die eventually, even him. That doesn't mean I should kill him.

    When I returned from a weekend away and found my tree had been cut down and made into benches around our fire pit, I didn't speak to him for two weeks. When he called one afternoon offering to pick up dinner on his way home and asked what I wanted, I asked why it mattered. He'd just get what he wanted anyway, and hung up on him. That's when he figured out we had a problem. It took two weeks!

    He's a knucklehead when it comes to relationships. I have to run around waving my hands and screaming "we have a problem" for him to notice which gets old real fast.

    Oh, and when he does the laundry, he leaves the clean clothes in the basket so I spend my life looking wrinkled--which bothers me, but not enough to do the laundry myself.

    He's a really nice guy, but not the best disciplinarian so when it comes to disciplining the kids, I'm always the bad guy. I'm told he says things like. "Just wait until you're mom comes home." I'm feared and he's loved.

    And it's really awful when I want to complain about him and everyone tells me how lucky I am to have him.

    Heck, I'm not dumb, I know I'm lucky, but he's lucky too. We're symbiotic, we bring out the best in each other and compensate for the other's weaknesses. It works well and you know what I've learned? I deserve him.

  7. Okay, Robin, I'll let you live. LOL! I love that he didn't get you weren't speaking to him for two weeks. Sounds like my husband. I didn't speak to him for three days last week and he didn't even notice. But not speaking is better than screaming when there are kids listening. I am also in the "bad guy" role with my kids as he tends to be more permissive. I don't like that either. Glad to hear the DG is, at the end of the day, a typical GUY in many ways.

  8. Sounds like you two make a perfect couple. You've got lucky kids! :)

  9. Good men are hard to find. When you do find one, make sure you have enough chain and a case of good beer.

  10. I know I'm lucky, but he's lucky too. We're symbiotic, we bring out the best in each other and compensate for the other's weaknesses...

    This really says it all, Robin! My DH definitely has his flaws but he is also my staunchest supporter. He will cheer me up or kick my arse, depending on what's needed, and HE KNOWS which I need. Well, most of the time. Though I gotta agree with Stephanie, the long chain and case of beer does help. ;-)

  11. It sounds like life lended inspiration to you while writing Romeo, Romeo, Robin!


  12. You are sooo right, Danielle! There's a little bit of my husband in every hero I write. I think there's nothing sexier than a Domestic God.

    Robin :)

  13. This is a lovely tribute to a great guy. Working around lots of women, I hear a great deal of man-bashing so it's a nice switch to come to a site full of women who love their guys. Romance writing isn't just wishful thinking, after all. Nice job, Robin.

  14. Thanks for your post. I love hearing stories of real life heroes. What a gift it is to have such support from your husband.

    Mine is president of my fan club. He cheers when I get good news and doesn't let me mope when I get less than stellar contest results or a rejection letter. I think he's more convinced that I'll be published one day than I am at times. How cool is that?