Monday, June 16, 2008

Bachelor Auction XIV—The Wars Continue

From his place on the floor, the quarterback raised a long, muscled leg and caught Speedy right where he lived. With a howl of righteous indignation, Speedy clutched his, um, junk, and dropped to his knees. Infuriated by the quarterback's audacity, the Highlander got into a screaming fight with the pirate, who took the quarterback's side. The ensuing rumble sucked in everyone except for David Delany, who deftly sidestepped Calvin Seersucker as he jumped into the fray.

The auctioneer banged his gavel on the dais while the audience of stunned women watched the brawl with fascination and, in the case of Candy, titillation. The public safety bachelors, policeman and fireman, blew whistles that caught the attention of the fools on the floor.

"Enough already," policeman said.

Behind me, I heard someone whisper, "Oh, I want him...."

It took a few minutes, but the public safety bachelors managed to restore some semblance of order. The Highlander's fur-covered sporran now sat on his hip, and Rick stood up with an outraged expression on his face. "You busted out my freaking tooth!" he screamed at Calvin.

"Well, you're a dentist," Calvin retorted. "Fix it."

Rick reached up and pulled the fake Vulcan tip off Calvin's ear and threw it at him. It missed Calvin, bounced off the pirate's forehead and sailed into the audience, landing right in my lap.

With his screwdriver still in his hand, David reached for the stray ear tip. "I'll take that, sweetheart," he said with a private smile for me. "I've got some putty in my toolbox that will fix that right up."

The woman behind me sighed. "I've changed my mind," she said. "Get me that one."

"Not so fast," I replied, my eyes locked on David. "I'll start the bidding at two-hundred fifty dollars."

"We have two-fifty," the relieved auctioneer said. "Do I hear two seventy-five?"

11 comments:

  1. I'm glad you used the fight to give the men some character traits in addition to their attributes.

    But you've left us with the biggest cliff-hanger yet. Who is our heroine bidding on, and why?

    Up to now the more choices she's had, the more indecisive she's become. But you're telling us she has made a decision.

    You have slyly led us to believe it's David Delaney, but Candy wants him too, and our heroine can't win in a money-fight with the mob queen.

    Unfortunately, you don't get to answer any of the questions you've raised. :-)That challenge goes to those down stream from you. I can't wait to see what they'll do with it.

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  2. Arrrrrgh! I don't want to have to decide! It would be so much easier if David was my first choice, but he's not! Oh, this twisted, tangled, tale!

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  3. Since she was looking right at David when she said it, I intended it to be David she was bidding on, but as you point out MM, that's not up to me! :--))

    I was determined to get the actual bidding started today, so that goal was accomplished.

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  4. See, I PRESUMED it was David D. also, but again NOT UP TO ME!

    And this cliff hanger will leave readers for an extra day because our editor, Deb Werksman will be guesting here tomorrow! Please, everyone spread the word!

    Deb was very forthcoming last time on what she is looking for and this visit should be equally enlightening and entertaining!

    Cindy

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  5. Fight! Fight! Fight! I wanted to see how the Highlander's kilt looked now that his sporran was resting on his hip.....hmmm....

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  6. Oh my, bad boys. We will have to take them severely to task.

    Me first.

    Michele

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  7. Thank heavens you got it going, Marie! But now, it is actually up to me what comes next! As Cheryl would say, "Mwa ha ha ha!"

    Christina

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  8. LMAO! I will gladly take any of the surviving bachelor leftovers. Where is this town, again??

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  9. This is a hilarious and awesome story, ladies!!! Woohoo!!! I'm bidding on Terry's Highlander.

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  10. Woohoo, Nicole! Yeah, got to love those kilts! :) And, uhm, other attributes. :)

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