From his place on the floor, the quarterback raised a long, muscled leg and caught Speedy right where he lived. With a howl of righteous indignation, Speedy clutched his, um, junk, and dropped to his knees. Infuriated by the quarterback's audacity, the Highlander got into a screaming fight with the pirate, who took the quarterback's side. The ensuing rumble sucked in everyone except for David Delany, who deftly sidestepped Calvin Seersucker as he jumped into the fray.
The auctioneer banged his gavel on the dais while the audience of stunned women watched the brawl with fascination and, in the case of Candy, titillation. The public safety bachelors, policeman and fireman, blew whistles that caught the attention of the fools on the floor.
"Enough already," policeman said.
Behind me, I heard someone whisper, "Oh, I want him...."
It took a few minutes, but the public safety bachelors managed to restore some semblance of order. The Highlander's fur-covered sporran now sat on his hip, and Rick stood up with an outraged expression on his face. "You busted out my freaking tooth!" he screamed at Calvin.
"Well, you're a dentist," Calvin retorted. "Fix it."
Rick reached up and pulled the fake Vulcan tip off Calvin's ear and threw it at him. It missed Calvin, bounced off the pirate's forehead and sailed into the audience, landing right in my lap.
With his screwdriver still in his hand, David reached for the stray ear tip. "I'll take that, sweetheart," he said with a private smile for me. "I've got some putty in my toolbox that will fix that right up."
The woman behind me sighed. "I've changed my mind," she said. "Get me that one."
"Not so fast," I replied, my eyes locked on David. "I'll start the bidding at two-hundred fifty dollars."
"We have two-fifty," the relieved auctioneer said. "Do I hear two seventy-five?"