Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Bachelor Auction Part XVII

It took a moment for my brain to catch up. He had to be kidding! Calvin, nerdy little Calvin, a millionaire? Was this part of the auction or was it real?

The mayor was still staring open-mouthed at him, just like everyone else when Lauri Gruber piped up from the audience: “He’s making that up!”

But I didn’t think so. Anyone who could cough up four thousand dollars for charity had to have plenty of dough stashed away somewhere....

To recap the action, David Delaney was out, the Highlander was an IRS agent—no way was I touching him! Rick was missing a front tooth and would soon be on the run from the Highlander, and Calvin was missing an ear. Regency David was still in—though charmingly disheveled, like Darcy after his dip in the lake—but the knight still couldn’t keep his nose guard up, so it was impossible to tell what he looked like. Speedy was out—no great loss—and the quarterback looked like the loser after a very rough game. The fireman and policeman were the real thing—or were they?

The mayor looked confused but four thousand dollars was nothing to sneeze at.
“Up next, Calvin Seersucker as—” He paused to look Calvin up and down. “What are you?”

“I’m a Trekkie,” Calvin said proudly. “William Shatner once told us all to get a life—so I did.”

“And you did very well, I must say,” the mayor said, beaming at him. “So, ladies! What am I bid for the Trekkie who got a life?”

I had to admit, even after the fight, Calvin looked damn good. Looking at him from one side, he was all tough-guy starship captain, and from the other, a Vulcan diplomat—both of them built like brick shithouses. It was like getting two bachelors for the price of one. Then Calvin looked me right in the eyes and smiled, sending me into mental meltdown mode.

Mother gave me a nudge. “So, bid already!”

Suddenly, my hand was in the air. “Five hundred dollars!”


  1. I'm going to be gone all day today, so I won't be responding to comments until tomorrow.

  2. I personally bid six hundred for the Trekkie! That Shatner suggestion was one of my favorite SNL sketches. What a hoot. A great way to continue the fun, Cheryl. But I hope that the two bachelors for the price of one isn't anything like a good and evil Captain Kirk . . .


  3. I'm wondering if Cheryl is going to use our story to get that orgy she's been wanting to put into one of her books--LOL. Great summary of the action. We need that paragraph that brought all the parts and pieces together. And I love that she is bidding on good old Calvin! Great job, Cheryl!

  4. Good Job, Cheryl!

    Like Marie, I thought you might be leading us into orgy territory... Not that we weren't perfectly will to go! LOL!

    Do we have to wait until Monday to see if anyone else gets in a bidding war with our heroine? I'm dying to know!


  5. I liked that you showed us the scorecard tally for who was still in the running.

    Being a devout Trekkie, that quote of Shatner's is one of my favorites. (He REALLY DID say it--to a bunch of Trekkies at a Con--not just on SNL.)It's nice to think of someone following his advice and using his imagination creatively instead of just disappearing into fantasies.

    I've liked Calvin from the first.By mixing and matching his costumes with blythe disregard for whether he's doing it by the book, he's managed to come to the auction as...himself.

  6. Hey gang,
    Glad you liked it--whether there was an orgy or not! Actually, 250 words is MUCH too short for an orgy!
    Go for it Kendra!

  7. Cheryl that was really excellent!!!! I LOVE the trekkie bit!! And thanks for the recap, I was getting confused!! I'm waiting anxiously for the next installment!!

  8. I still can't figure out who she goes home with! Talk about suspense.

  9. LMAO at the Shatner reference...and the recap cracked me up. TEAM CALVIN FOREVER! Great job, Cheryl! This is the second great lead-in you've given me.