Thursday, June 5, 2008

The Bachelor Auction Part V

But just when I thought I couldn’t get any sicker, I heard an unmistakable giggle that grated on every last nerve ending in my body. I watched in horror filled fascination along with everyone else, as a woman with Texas-big platinum blonde hair and even bigger, if phony, tatas strolled to the front of the room. My adolescent nemesis, Candy Froedisher Martinelli.

We had been friends in junior high school, but when we got to high school, suddenly Candy was Miss Popularity, head cheerleader, homecoming queen, the works, while I remained behind in my somewhat nerdy corner. Bad enough that I was often the object of her giggling, whispered innuendoes, but her ultimate betrayal came when she lured David Delany- -my David- -away to be her date for the Senior prom.

While the rest of us had gone off to college and studied things like journalism or criminal justice, Candy had gone to Miami Beach to major in Trophy Wife 101. Her first husband, or so I’d heard, was a minor Mafia enforcer. Freddie “The Pistol” Pestorini liked big boobs and gaudy gold jewelry, and he supplied Candy with both, until she cast her eyes on bigger fish in the pond.

Her second husband had children older than Candy, and was a Mafia kingpin who had died under mysterious circumstances six months ago. According to the news report I’d read, Carlo Martinelli’s body washed up on the Jersey shore with his wrists and ankles shackled. The local police and the FBI had made no arrests, but I would bet my mother’s last petunia that the grieving widow was implicated up to her thickly mascaraed eyelashes.

Eyelashes she was now batting flirtatiously at David Delany--my David!

“That brazen hussy!” My mother hissed near my ear, and I realized that she had been watching the whole spectacle too, along with most everyone else in the room.

15 comments:

  1. Ah, yes, the blood-thirsty Aunt Cindy! I should have known....

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  2. Ohhhh, Aunty, your romantic suspense chops are on full display. Nice addition to the story. Get that tramp away from our David!

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  3. OMG! Candy Froebisher Martinelli! I had forgotten her 38-D existence. NOW I understand who came up with the 'fantasy man'theme, and pushed the committee to take the bachelor auction uptown.

    And all because she wants to nail David The Carpenter. :-)

    But is the mob involved, or will that turn out to be a red herring?

    This plot is thickening nicely. Can't wait to read the next installment.

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  4. I agree wholeheartedly with MM-I cannot wait to see how this develops :)

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  5. And all because she wants to nail David The Carpenter.

    ROFLOL, Mary Margret! Yup, I think we are all having a little "carpenter envy."

    The plot is thickening better than my Gramma's milk gravy! ;-)

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  6. You gals are a little too "into" my carpenter guy. Hands off his hard tools, you hear me?

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  7. BUSTED! Cheryl and Marie, I'm afraid you do know me and my blood-thirsty, romantic suspense ways.

    What's a little blood and violence amongst friends?!?! Or in this case, the Mob!

    AC

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  8. Just so we keep that 38-D tramp (Candy F.M.) away from him! LOL!

    Can't wait to see what surprises Christina has in store for us tomorrow.

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  9. You never know what you might run into at a Bachelor auction. Can't wait to see what happens next
    Michele

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  10. Ooo, a nemesis! The tension builds . . .

    Christina

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  11. lol - Candy the Trampy! She's a disgrace to the proud and busty! I agree, hands off the Carpenter lady, or YOU'LL be the one sleeping with the fishes!!!
    Fun, stuff! Thanks everyone for doing this.

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  12. This story is getting really good I am enjoying it

    Have Fun
    Helen

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  13. Hilarious addition, Cindy. Sorry I'm so late to the "story" party!

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  14. Hey Jen, Helen and Jo,
    Better late than never!

    Glad you dropped by and read our masterpiece. And really glad you liked it!

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  15. I haven't had time to read this, but Linda just sent me the whole thing so I could add my part, then I was trying to guess who wrote all the parts. This is so hilarious, ladies! Great job, Cindy!

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