by Amanda ForesterFour years ago my husband was called up for active service in the Army. From my perspective as a new mom of two babies, it was devastating. The following months were some of hardest times in my life. Little did I know that this deployment marked the beginning of my writing career.
My husband spent one year in Iraq during some of the bloodiest fighting of the war. There were many nights I spent lying awake worrying, praying for his safety. As a way of coping I started reading historical romance novels. They transported me to a better place, one that had a happy ending – a very important thing when the ending of my husband’s deployment was unknown. Reading those books also inspired me to start writing my own stories. Despite the fact that I hated that year my husband was away, I doubt I would be an author today if he had never been deployed. For me, the tragedy of war brought a new beginning.
A few weeks ago I was having lunch with my husband who was in uniform. When we went to pay the check, a man came up and thanked my husband for his service and then proceeded to pay our lunch bill! It was such a kind-hearted gesture it brought tears to my eyes. I am happy to say this was not the first time someone offered to pick up a tab, or shook my husband’s hand and thanked him for his service. The support we have received from total strangers has been heartwarming.
Yet on this Memorial Day weekend, my thoughts turn to those who did not have a happy ending like me. The plane that carried my husband home from Iraq also carried four flag draped coffins of those who did not survive. When I met my husband at the airport I ran to him and hugged him tight. The stress and worry I’d been carrying for the past year crashed down and I pressed my face into his shoulder and sobbed. My tears were of joy. Yet so many have cried tears of grief.
Today I remember those who did not see their loved one return. Over five thousand service members have lost their lives in the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. They had moms and dads, husbands and wives, sweethearts and friends. And children. Those who have lost a loved one are invisible among us. They do not wear uniforms. No one offers to buy them lunch. Strangers do not come up to them to thank them for their service. And yet they carry the burden of the consequence of war as much as any who wear a uniform.
So today I want to thank all who have served in the military and their families and loved ones whose support and love enable them to serve.
Thank you for your service. May you find your new beginnings and happy endings.
My husband spent one year in Iraq during some of the bloodiest fighting of the war. There were many nights I spent lying awake worrying, praying for his safety. As a way of coping I started reading historical romance novels. They transported me to a better place, one that had a happy ending – a very important thing when the ending of my husband’s deployment was unknown. Reading those books also inspired me to start writing my own stories. Despite the fact that I hated that year my husband was away, I doubt I would be an author today if he had never been deployed. For me, the tragedy of war brought a new beginning.
A few weeks ago I was having lunch with my husband who was in uniform. When we went to pay the check, a man came up and thanked my husband for his service and then proceeded to pay our lunch bill! It was such a kind-hearted gesture it brought tears to my eyes. I am happy to say this was not the first time someone offered to pick up a tab, or shook my husband’s hand and thanked him for his service. The support we have received from total strangers has been heartwarming.
Yet on this Memorial Day weekend, my thoughts turn to those who did not have a happy ending like me. The plane that carried my husband home from Iraq also carried four flag draped coffins of those who did not survive. When I met my husband at the airport I ran to him and hugged him tight. The stress and worry I’d been carrying for the past year crashed down and I pressed my face into his shoulder and sobbed. My tears were of joy. Yet so many have cried tears of grief.
Today I remember those who did not see their loved one return. Over five thousand service members have lost their lives in the conflicts in Iraq and Afghanistan. They had moms and dads, husbands and wives, sweethearts and friends. And children. Those who have lost a loved one are invisible among us. They do not wear uniforms. No one offers to buy them lunch. Strangers do not come up to them to thank them for their service. And yet they carry the burden of the consequence of war as much as any who wear a uniform.
So today I want to thank all who have served in the military and their families and loved ones whose support and love enable them to serve.
Thank you for your service. May you find your new beginnings and happy endings.
20 comments:
Oh Amanada~
You brought tears to my eyes. I spent Friday talking to my dear friend Mark. He's having such a hard time since returning from Iraq. He's been home nine months, but in some ways, its as if he never left the battlefield. He haunted day and night.
Mark wasn't as lucky as your husband, when he came home, he found he'd not only lost his peace, but his wife and son too--not many marriages can handle the stress and separation.
I picked up my ballerina from school to bring her home for Memorial Day weekend, but before we drove back, we stopped to talk to Mark. Meeting him and talking to him for a few hours helped her to understand how much we owe to the men and women who keep us safe, and what a sacrifice they make for us. In some cases the sacrifice is their life and in others, it seems as if the sacrifice is the rest of their lives.
Please thank your husband for his service, and I thank you, too, for yours. I know what it's like for those without wives and husbands like you to love and support them.
What a touching post, Amanda - so well said. Thank you for reminding us how far-ranging the sacrifices can be.
Amanda, That is a beautiful post! It brought tears to my eyes as well. Of course I am very happy your husband returned safe and sound, and I am very proud and thankful for his service.
We live near the Lemoore Naval base so know a ton of navy men and women. So many wives who go through the long deployments. I can't imagine it.
We are big military supporters in our family. My husband NEVER passes up an opportunity to thank someone for their service. He is the guy who will shake their hand and buy that lunch for them. My son is thinking of joining the military, although we haven't given it serious thought as yet. Naturally we would be scared for him, but I know our pride in his devotion to this wonderful country would outweigh our fears.
God bless you, your spouse, and everyone else who gives to make the USA the best country in the world!!
Happy Memorial Day!
Beautiful post, Linda.
I can't really think of anything to add. Loved it.
Ash
*stands and claps.
Bravo, Amanda. You stated the meaning of this weekend so perfectly.
And I thank your husband for his service, and YOU for yours.
Great post Amanda! People do forget, it is one of our weaknesses. There are times we need to be reminded that freedom is not free. There is always a price, and even when we are not touched directly, we should remember those who are directly involved and those that are left behind.
I grew up in the 60's and remember the protests of the Vietnam war. Even though I disagreed with out government's stand, I supported the troops, they only did as they were asked by out government. Now history repeats its self. I'm just glad to see that we as a people have matured and support our troops regardless. It's a good thing and everybody should thank that Vet or active personnel.
Amanda,
Thank you for your eloquent words. And, thank your husband for his service.
I have nothing to add to your eloquent post, except to thank you and your husband for your sacrifices.I am glad both for your happy ending and that you have encountered tangible thanks.
The gratitude I feel to those who have fallen is hard to "put feet" on; the grief I share with their families goes unexpressed. Remembrance is the smallest part of what they are owed.
Amanda, thank you for reaching within the heart of each reader of your post and filling us with gratitude and respect for the men and women serving our country, and for the brave anchors pf family who hold the home front together.
Most of us have heard of, or feel the criticisms of war, but in truth it is the experience of war that exposes both the best and the worst in mankind, carrying with it the height and depth of emotional experience. I wonder if emotional experience is one of the great tools in the hands of the creator. At the same time, my compassion ... which feels a lot like love ... goes out to everyone touched by the sacrifices of our service men and women and their families. May God's comfort and Blessings blossom within all in the dew of the new morning.
Hi Robin,
I'm so sorry to hear of your friend Mark. So many service members are surviving injuries that in previous conflicts would have been fatal. The result is more people who have survived physical and psychological trauma. I work at the VA hospital and can attest to the heartbreaking suffering of those with PTSD. It's bad enough that people have to experience the gruesome trauma of war once, but many continue to relive it in the form of flashbacks and nightmares. You are so right - it is as if they never left the battlefield. It is so sad.
I truly hope Mark can find effective treatment and someday regain his peace of mind. So many veterans find themselves completely isolated - the fact that Mark has a friend like you can make all the difference.
Hi Sharon,
Thank you for your support and please thank your husband. I can't tell you how much it has meant to my husband and I to have the support of random strangers. It is such a cool thing!
I am feeling for you with your son's decision about possibly joining the military. Having my husband deployed was bad enough, but my kid? I would be very proud, but I'd also most likey have to be put in some group home for overwrought parents. Good luck!!
Joanne, Ashlyn, & Judi - Thanks!!
Mary Margaret - I know the topic was kind of downer, but I agree, I think it is important to remember the cost.
Jessica - I agree, there has been a definite shift in public reaction towards the troops from the Vietnam era to now. Even those who disagree strongly with the war in Iraq, still will be supportive toward the troops.
Judith - thanks! You know it never gets old!
Min - very nicely put. I can't think of anything more to add. Thank you!
Thanks, Amanda, for that post. I'm from a military family (Navy Dad fought in WWII, Korea, and Vietnam; one of my brothers was in the Army and went to Desert Storm; another brother in the Marines, and a nephew in the Air Force), so I can totally understand where you are coming from. Bless your husband for his service, and bless you for being strong and standing by him.
Great post, Amanda. I cannot imagine what that's like for a family--not even close.
Beautiful post, Amanda. And a wonderful tribute.
Wishing you and your DH the very best.
That's wonderful, Amanda.
Those of us who've been military wives experience so many mixed emotions.
I still remember Bob telling me before he'd go out on Ocean Station, since this was still during the Cold War, if his cutter was captured, he wouldn't be returned since he was a cryptographer. Never a good feeling! But he always returned and our dog and me were always at the base to greet his ship when she came in.
Karen - sounds like your family really knows how to serve their country! Thanks for taking care of them!
Cheryl - thanks - and Im sure you can imagine - you are not lacking in imagination!!
Kathryne - thanks!
Linda - Navy wives are a special breed. The repeated seperations are tough - especially back in the day when communications were not what they are now. They you and your husband for your service!
Losing your loved one's is very hard to accept. And when you see them returning 'alive' from a battlefield, it feels great. But hats off to those who died while protecting their country.
Casablanca airport
What an amazing post, Amanda! Thank you to your husband and you for all you've done for our country!
My brother goes to the Naval Academy, and whenever we go out with him while he's in uniform, I'm always amazed and touched by the people who stop and thank him for what he's doing!
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