By Deb Werksman
I have just returned from a marvelous weekend with an RWA local chapter and the week before that I participated in an on-line pitch session and I had a GREAT time doing both--I love to take pitches (some of you may have noticed!) and it seems to me that authors are working hard at creating effective pitches. I'm hearing lots of good ones!
THE ANATOMY OF A PITCH
Pitches may be verbal or written, and by their nature they have to be concise and compelling, but they also have to include some key information:
*The author's publishing/sales history (how many books and how many copies sold to readers). This is where, if you're a debut author, you say so. If you're introducing a new pen name, please share your publishing/sales history of your previous name(s).
*The category and subgenre of the book: I can't tell you how many times a pitch gets derailed because I can't tell whether the book is mystery (which we don't publish) or romantic suspense (which we do), or whether it's sci-fi/fantasy (which we don't publish) or fantasy romance (which we do). Be very clear about where your book a) sits in the bookstore and b) fits into the category--especially if it's a romance, be clear about the subgenre or mix of subgenres (Regency paranormal romance, Scottish Highland time travel romance, etc.)
*The hook! (see below)
*A quick introduction to the main characters and the major conflicts
If all these items are in place and clear, then I'll be able to tell you very quickly whether it's something I publish, and whether it's something I want to see a full submission on. And that's the whole purpose of the pitch!
A word on nervousness: we editors are really very nice people, and love to read as much as you do, and love to talk about books and hear about your book. We know we make you nervous. It's fine.
THE HOOK!
I talk endlessly about the hook, and it's the thing I get the most questions about. The hook is a 2-3 sentence selling tool that gets a buyer excited about stocking your book and a reader excited to buy and then read it. It positions your book as something unique and desirable. Here are some examples:
*Robin Kaye's Breakfast in Bed is the latest in her Domestic Gods series of contemporary romance featuring gorgeous alpha guys who are the nurturing one in the relationship. Because every woman wants a man who's as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom!
*Terry Spear has done so much research into how wolves live in nature, that in her paranormal romances, the werewolves behave the way wolves do in nature. They all drive SUVs because they travel in packs!).
*Lydia Dare's new Regency heroes in It Happened One Bite are gentleman vampires. They are high sticklers and would never bite a young lady to whom they were not properly introduced.
*Marie Force's newest down-to-earth contemporary romance Love at First Flight features a love triangle so gripping and emotionally complex that the hero and heroine finding their way together in the end is miraculous, both for them, and for the reader.
*Mary Margret Daughtridge's SEALed with a Promise features the personal side of being a Navy SEAL--men for whom being a hero is all in a day's work, and the personal side of life isn't easy at all.
*Cheryl Brooks' Fugitive, the latest in The Cat Star Chronicles series features a hero who comes from a planet where the people have a feline gene that gives them remarkable sexual powers.
*Shana Galen's action-packed Regency romances feature three aristocratic brothers who lost everything in the French Revolution, including each other. In each story, the brothers search desperately for each other, aided by a beautiful young lady to whom they reluctantly lose their hearts. Latest book is The Making of a Duchess.
The reason I need a hook is because there are multiple occasions on which I'll be presenting the book to rooms full of people who then have to go and do things like design the cover, or sell it to a buyer. I have to be able to get them excited about your book, and they have to go get other people excited.
A WORD ABOUT ORIGINALITY!
We all know there's nothing new under the sun, and there are plot devices and tropes that are time-tested and true blue. HOWEVER, in today's marketplace, you must make your book stand out. So if you are using time-worn plot devices, you must do something else that's really original so your readers will not feel they've read this book before.
OK, here's what I'm looking for!
*single title romance in all subgenres
*a heroine the reader can relate to
*a hero she can fall in love with
*a world gets created
*a hook I can sell with in 2-3 sentences
*a career arc for the author
So how about it? Got any pitches for me? Post them right here on the blog and I'll critique them right here, or if you're shy, send them to me privately at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
I have just returned from a marvelous weekend with an RWA local chapter and the week before that I participated in an on-line pitch session and I had a GREAT time doing both--I love to take pitches (some of you may have noticed!) and it seems to me that authors are working hard at creating effective pitches. I'm hearing lots of good ones!
THE ANATOMY OF A PITCH
Pitches may be verbal or written, and by their nature they have to be concise and compelling, but they also have to include some key information:
*The author's publishing/sales history (how many books and how many copies sold to readers). This is where, if you're a debut author, you say so. If you're introducing a new pen name, please share your publishing/sales history of your previous name(s).
*The category and subgenre of the book: I can't tell you how many times a pitch gets derailed because I can't tell whether the book is mystery (which we don't publish) or romantic suspense (which we do), or whether it's sci-fi/fantasy (which we don't publish) or fantasy romance (which we do). Be very clear about where your book a) sits in the bookstore and b) fits into the category--especially if it's a romance, be clear about the subgenre or mix of subgenres (Regency paranormal romance, Scottish Highland time travel romance, etc.)
*The hook! (see below)
*A quick introduction to the main characters and the major conflicts
If all these items are in place and clear, then I'll be able to tell you very quickly whether it's something I publish, and whether it's something I want to see a full submission on. And that's the whole purpose of the pitch!
A word on nervousness: we editors are really very nice people, and love to read as much as you do, and love to talk about books and hear about your book. We know we make you nervous. It's fine.
THE HOOK!
I talk endlessly about the hook, and it's the thing I get the most questions about. The hook is a 2-3 sentence selling tool that gets a buyer excited about stocking your book and a reader excited to buy and then read it. It positions your book as something unique and desirable. Here are some examples:
*Robin Kaye's Breakfast in Bed is the latest in her Domestic Gods series of contemporary romance featuring gorgeous alpha guys who are the nurturing one in the relationship. Because every woman wants a man who's as good in the kitchen as he is in the bedroom!
*Terry Spear has done so much research into how wolves live in nature, that in her paranormal romances, the werewolves behave the way wolves do in nature. They all drive SUVs because they travel in packs!).
*Lydia Dare's new Regency heroes in It Happened One Bite are gentleman vampires. They are high sticklers and would never bite a young lady to whom they were not properly introduced.
*Marie Force's newest down-to-earth contemporary romance Love at First Flight features a love triangle so gripping and emotionally complex that the hero and heroine finding their way together in the end is miraculous, both for them, and for the reader.
*Mary Margret Daughtridge's SEALed with a Promise features the personal side of being a Navy SEAL--men for whom being a hero is all in a day's work, and the personal side of life isn't easy at all.
*Cheryl Brooks' Fugitive, the latest in The Cat Star Chronicles series features a hero who comes from a planet where the people have a feline gene that gives them remarkable sexual powers.
*Shana Galen's action-packed Regency romances feature three aristocratic brothers who lost everything in the French Revolution, including each other. In each story, the brothers search desperately for each other, aided by a beautiful young lady to whom they reluctantly lose their hearts. Latest book is The Making of a Duchess.
The reason I need a hook is because there are multiple occasions on which I'll be presenting the book to rooms full of people who then have to go and do things like design the cover, or sell it to a buyer. I have to be able to get them excited about your book, and they have to go get other people excited.
A WORD ABOUT ORIGINALITY!
We all know there's nothing new under the sun, and there are plot devices and tropes that are time-tested and true blue. HOWEVER, in today's marketplace, you must make your book stand out. So if you are using time-worn plot devices, you must do something else that's really original so your readers will not feel they've read this book before.
OK, here's what I'm looking for!
*single title romance in all subgenres
*a heroine the reader can relate to
*a hero she can fall in love with
*a world gets created
*a hook I can sell with in 2-3 sentences
*a career arc for the author
So how about it? Got any pitches for me? Post them right here on the blog and I'll critique them right here, or if you're shy, send them to me privately at deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
Lynne, I hate to start a debate (that's a lie, I love a good debate) but they really don't exist anymore as they did ten years ago. Nowadays it's so much more the story of the hero and heroine than the accuracy of the era or the history. Most publishers actually spell this out in their guidelines. If there is too much history, this overshadows the romance and then it isn't historical romance.
ReplyDeleteI for one can't get enough historicals but when you're looking at Eloisa James, Anna Campbell or Candace Camp, the story is about the love and the couple, not the history. Stephanie Lauren's is still putting a reasonable amount of history in hers... Which one's did you read? Did you want to say?
The other thing about history is do you want to know that the heroine wouldn't have washed for a week or that the hero's teeth are black from poor hygeine? Do we want to know that a walk in the park would amount to picking your way through horse manure on the streets and then pick pockets and vagabonds hiding behind every tree waiting for an easy target?
The historical I have pitched, I think, displays a reasonable estimation of how an Opera Singer would have been treated by the men of the Ton and even more so the woman. I'll let you know when it's in print =)
I just realised I may have made it sound like a historical doesn't have to be accurate. It does. Ask any historical author how many emails they get flooded with when they get something wrong. But again, it is a bit of a fantasy world. If it wasn't, the escapism wouldn't be there and I think that's what most of us are after... That's my two cents anyway.
ReplyDeleteLynne, Bronwyn,
ReplyDeleteI'd love to jump in here. I write late Victorian period London and when I push the edges of historical accuracy, I do so for a very good reason. I also have my own interpretation of that period in history. Supposedly, Victorians were repressed, both sexually and in other ways, but if one out of every six single in women in London was at one time or other "on the job"...well, who was seeing all those prostitutes? And did all those women absolutely hate what they were doing? Or were they more resilient than historians give them credit for? Because I love eccentric types, many of my characters are either prostitutes, suffragettes, odd intellectuals or artistic bohemians, groups on the fringe of society. This allows me to write a grittier, steampunkier story, and whenever possible, avoid the ton.
Happy to share. Jillian
Here's my historical, writing under the pen name GK Parker:
ReplyDeleteIn 1929 corrupt LAPD officer Billy Brewster travels through a dark world, determined to survive at any cost. Into his world walks Madeleine La Rue, who will change Billy forever. Maddy is a bright light in his world. But the rich, politically ambitious man Maddy is married to may be more dangerous than either of the two lovers suspect. Color of Shadows and Smoke, in the end, is an upbeat story of the redemption of a man who became something greater through his love for an extraordinary woman.
Courtney, the pitch for The Hooded Man is quite good--it's a fast paced and swashbuckling pitch. At 70,000 words, and with this theme, I think your book belongs in category romance; we're not the right house for it. Well done on the pitch, though.
ReplyDeleteLaurie, the pitch for FOR LOVE OR RAVIOLI is concise and enrolling, good job. I'd like to see a full submission but I need to know what you envision for a career arc, because we need to know how we're going to build you. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHeather, I'm of two minds reading this pitch for A TASTE OF THE FORBIDDEN. On the one hand, there are some cool elements--werewolf king, I like--but then it's evasive and using a lot of formulaic language. I'd like to take a look at a full submission and please be sure to tell me what the career arc is going to be.
ReplyDeleteSEND SUBMISSIONS TO: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeletePlease include:
*synopsis
*full manuscript
*your publishing history/sales history
*if there's series potential, a short pitch on the next 2-3 books in the series
*if not, what's your career arc?
THANK YOU!
Terrel, thank you for pitching The Butterfly. I find I don't believe the premise--if she's got no social skills, then he's not going to hire her to be a spokesperson. Sorry. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteCarolyn, thanks for pitching DYING FOR LOVE. The pitch is ok--it's pretty clear and I have a good sense of both the plot and the characters. The book isn't going to be for me, though--I'm not quite buying the premise of the bungling assasin and then the rest of it is pretty much formulaic. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteSherry, this part of your pitch for RUNAWAY is fantastic: Stolen jewels, a murdered German industrialist, a client on the run and a smoking hot Interpol agent with a personal agenda...I didn't need anything else, and I'm ready to request the full submission. Your voice is shining through. I have some concerns about the story itself, but I'll address those when I see the full submission. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteOlivia, thank you for pitching DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER ME. The pitch is quite good, I really get a flavor of the book.
ReplyDeleteBut the amnesia plot device has been overused, so I'm going to pass. Thank you!
Kathleen, the pitch for When a Heart Dares is kind of confusing--cousins dueling, then he's a ship captain, then she's not sailing, she's going overland. Too complicated, without clear reasons why these things are happening, other than as plot devices. It's a confusing world. The time period is really tough for my list, also, although it may work for the library market.
ReplyDeleteLori, this pitch for MAKE OR BREAK was really run to read and I'd like to see a full submission. I'm not sure about the positioning as romantic suspense, but your voice sounds like fun, so bring it on! Career arc, too, please! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Deb, thanks for the opportunity to pitch today. STEEL HEARTS, my 2010 Golden Heart finalist manuscript is a 100,000 word, single title contemporary romance set in the fictional steel mill town of Dylan. This is the first book of a four-book series on the Carne family.
ReplyDeleteMorgan Carne, a workaholic self-sacrificing executive, is devastated when her grandfather brings in Bryan Rivers to run the family steel mill. Bryan, a competent leader and foster child, vowed never to return to Dylan after his foster father slept with his girlfriend ten years ago, but he can’t refuse his Granddad’s request. To ensure the steel mill thrives, he and Morgan must learn to trust and then protect each other from the threat stalking the Carne family. Their distrust evolves into respect, admiration and finally a passion hot enough to melt steel. Morgan and Bryan, two orphans, form a family bond that will not be broken.
Nancy Evertz
writing as Nan Dixon
Hello all! This is Lauren, Deb's assistant here at Sourcebooks. Reading pitches with Deb is perhaps the best part of my job so when Deb called this morning and gave me the OK to go ahead and join in on the commenting--kid in a candy store doesn't even begin to cover it! Unfortunately, Deb's got me hard at work in the office today, but do expect me to be posting my thoughts through the weekend. Now, before I head back to the salt mines, I thought I'd share a few quick thoughts and tips on pitches (from an assistant's perspective):
ReplyDelete• Always follow the guidelines listed on the publisher's website. If you're missing a vital piece of information (say a synopsis) you risk being put back at the bottom of the reading queue or being misplaced in the technological shuffle as we try and track those items down.
• Take time to title. I hate having to write 'UNTITLED' at the top of a submission packet (it always makes me a little sad). Love your work enough to come up with a kick butt title! Not only is it a great way to make your submission stand out from the pack and show of your sensational wit, but it also shows you've put thought into polishing your ms and making it a complete package. So show your ms some love and give it a name!
• I can't stress the importance of a strong hook. The FIRST thing Deb asks me about a submission is "What is the hook?" Put it right up front in your cover letter, don't be shy!
Those are the three things that come to mind right away for me, but if I think of any other tips, I'll post. Can't wait to read your pitches!
And a big hello to all the Casa authors! Sourcebooks is so lucky to have such talented and fantastic ladies writing for us! Thanks for putting this together! Lots of love!
Happy writing (and reading)!
Awesome opportunity. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLia Callahan is a debut author and convert from Southerner to Texan. “An Honorable Man” is a contemporary romance in the Texas/cowboy subgenre.
Large-animal veterinarian Ellie Galloway has her life laid out as straight and true as a Texas highway, from her reliable fiancé to her beloved vet practice in her small hometown of Conrad. Her plans begin to fly apart when bull rider Dan Blackwood rides in with the rodeo, reminding her of the crush she had on Dan when she was a teenager and Dan was her brother’s best friend.
When Dan suffers a career-ending injury, Ellie can’t resist helping out her old friend. Her fiancé feels threatened but Ellie has no worries about her own heart. Dan left abruptly when her brother died and she needed him most. To Ellie, Dan is the epitome of a hard-riding, good-timing, rodeo cowboy who can’t be trusted.
Dan needs Ellie’s help, but he’s just as determined not to rekindle the unwanted desire he had when he was 19 and Ellie was only 15. Not because he doesn’t want her, because he does. But he’s built a good life after running away, taking care of his adorable adopted son and planning for their future. Even if he can't stand the stiff-necked, meticulous guy she plans to marry, he can't pursue Ellie for himself, especially if he wants to keep the secret of what really happened the night her brother died.
Deb,
ReplyDeleteHopefully you're still considering pitches. If not, oh well - I tried!
Should've Known Better
Former CIA analyst Sarah Jenkins made a huge mistake two years ago when a miscalculation during a hostage rescue mission costs lives. Unable to handle the guilt, she leaves the CIA.
When the owner of a men’s ice hockey team offers her a job as a video analysis coach, she jumps at the chance, figuring hockey will be a safe environment where the worst thing that can happen is someone will need a few stitches over the eye.
Sarah once again proves herself wrong when she meets player Sebastian St. Amant. Sebastian is a constant distraction, and Sarah finds herself struggling to keep their relationship purely professional.
Then the unthinkable happens and several former CIA colleagues are killed by a terrorist group. Sarah is devastated and tries to convince herself she’s better off alone – she can’t bear to care about anyone else she could lose.
Ultimately, only Sarah can decide if she’s ready to love again, or risk losing her chance for a happy life and the love of a man she’s waited her whole life for.
SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER is a contemporary romance complete at 93,000 words.
I am a PRO member of RWA National and participate in my local chapter. I’m also involved with the RWA special interest chapter Passionate Ink, where I serve as the newsletter editor. My personal essay, “Fighting Back” was published in Chicken Soup: The Cancer Book (publication date March 3, 2009).
Thanks for this opportunity!
MG, the pitch for Animal Whisperer makes it sound like a fun and funny cozy mystery, but we don’t publish in the mystery category, so this wouldn’t be for my list.
ReplyDeleteDeanna, thanks for this pitch for HAUNTED ON BOURBON STREET. The pitch is fine, but ghosts and empaths are not what’s working in the paranormal category right now, at least not on my list. Many thanks.
ReplyDeleteL.J., the pitch for HALFLING’S RISE wasn’t accessible for me. Between the strange names (Padraig) and the made up words (D’Danaan) and the implanted parasitic seed, you just lost me. Even with a complicated world, you have to find a way to communicate the hook of it simply and directly. Thank you!
ReplyDeletePS This is for everyone—every book in a series needs to be able to stand alone, because you want to be accessible for new readers at any entry point in the series. In the romance category, every book must have a new hero and heroine and a new love story.
L.J., the pitch for DRAGON CHILD was better—I liked this part: his leopard decides Moira is his soul mate, leaving the man at war with his cat. The world came through better, even though this pitch is significantly shorter. Now I think I want to take a look at his series, so please send a full submission.
ReplyDeleteM. Renee, I’m not sure how to respond to SPELL STRUCK. First, you say “teenage crush” so I’m thinking it’s a YA. But then there’s screwing, so clearly it’s not. There’s something a little creepy about this, and maybe you mean it to be in the fantasy category. I don’t think it belongs in the romance category. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteCoreene, the INTO THE FIRE pitch is evasive and full of formulaic language. It doesn’t make the story sound original enough for my list. I don’t see the hook that’s going to make this a MUST READ in this crowded marketplace. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLoretta, what romance editor could possibly resist this pitch for Ben Delicious? Send a full submission, please!
ReplyDeletePeggy, the pitch for THE LAIRD'S DAUGHTER has some intriguing aspects to it, so let’s see a full submission. Thank you!
ReplyDeletePeggy, thanks for pitching another one! Unfortunately, at 40,000 words, DARK PARADISE won’t work for my list. It would have to go in an anthology (which I’m not doing many of) or to an epub. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWalt, the pitch for THE SAMURAI’S HEART is very well written and made me want to read the story. You are correct, though, that we’re not currently publishing inspirational romance. Also, at 75,000 words, this is probably better suited for category romance rather than single title. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteRenee, this is a pretty sharp pitch, I must say. However, alas, Love At Twenty Paces wouldn’t be right for our list—American historical is tough for us in the romance category. It might do very well in the library market, however, and other houses do have lines for American historical. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteRae Ann, the pitch for A CUP OF FORGIVENESS is fine, but I’m not seeing a hook that will make it stand out in this crowded marketplace. The most interesting thing about it is the blended family, but you’ve surrounded that with formulaic devices from the romance category and they’re drowning any originality. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteSarra, since I don’t acquire YA myself, please send a full submission for FATALIS and I will queue it for our new YA editor who we are in the process of searching for/hiring now. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteMelanie, we don’t publish suspense, so BLOOD RITE wouldn’t work on my list and I don’t know enough about the category to critique the pitch.
ReplyDeleteSuzan, The Vampire, the Witch & the Wardrobe sounds great. (It needs a more original title, though...) Please send a full submission, and be sure to include career arc...thank you!
ReplyDeleteKarin, thank you so much for stopping by to say "hi"--I look forward to seeing you too!
ReplyDeleteCarolyn, UNHOLY BEAST isn’t titled like a romance, and I think you lost me at the reincarnation…the pitch just got more and more and more complicated and somehow the world wasn’t coming through like an invitation. I didn’t get the hook. Given your publishing history, you’ve obviously got an audience. Could you rethink the positioning on this, see if you can hook it, and send me a pitch that I can’t resist? Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSamantha, what a great pitch! THE RUINATION OF A RAKE sounds like a blast, your voice is shining through, and “There’s no taming the wicked” got me! Please send a full submission. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteGjillian, I like the way you think! I am trying to float away from aristocrats for a bit and try something different but inevitibly we want to read about rich people doing outrageous things we can only imagine. I really like the idea of steampunk historical and bohemians all wrapped up together =) The WIP I'm working on is about a woman forced into being a courtesan but she has a very high libido so she actually wants sex *gasp*. It's funny that in those days when men got itchy they scratched but when women wanted to scratch they were expected to ignore it and get back to the darning or the kitchen... It makes for an interesting story I think. Hopefully others agree =) Like you, I don't think all courtesans hated their existance. I think some of them were quite happy with their lot in life.
ReplyDelete(Sorry if this one came out twice, my computer is playing up)
Bronwyn,
ReplyDeleteSince we are way OT, I'll just send you a ;)
Jillian
@ Bronwyn
ReplyDeleteYou are so right to seek out the unusual!
I rarely make up a plot from scratch, instead, I read the newspapers of the time, and the scandal-sheets, and find something. That way the plot is "in period" and unusual, too. It's how I avoid Regency spies (yawn) and the like. These papers etc are easily available online, as well as in libraries. Love them! And, of course, if an editor ever points at a plot and says "that would never happen," I can show them! lol.
This exercise is absolutely fascinating. I'm reading the pitches and the responses and learning all the time! Thanks Judi and everyone else involved for making this such an interesting experience!
The only one that surprised me was the response that "Padraig" and "De Danaan" were unsual. Perhaps it's not as well known in the US that Padraig is the Irish way of spelling "Partick" and the De Danaan are Irish fairies! But, as they say, you live and learn and it's all grist to the writing mill!
@ Bronwyn
ReplyDeleteYou are so right to seek out the unusual!
I rarely make up a plot from scratch, instead, I read the newspapers of the time, and the scandal-sheets, and find something. That way the plot is "in period" and unusual, too. It's how I avoid Regency spies (yawn) and the like. These papers etc are easily available online, as well as in libraries. Love them! And, of course, if an editor ever points at a plot and says "that would never happen," I can show them! lol.
This exercise is absolutely fascinating. I'm reading the pitches and the responses and learning all the time! Thanks Judi and everyone else involved for making this such an interesting experience!
The only one that surprised me was the response that "Padraig" and "De Danaan" were unsual. Perhaps it's not as well known in the US that Padraig is the Irish way of spelling "Partick" and the De Danaan are Irish fairies! But, as they say, you live and learn and it's all grist to the writing mill!
Or even "Patrick" and "unusual." Sigh. New keyboard this morning, my old faithful finally gave up the ghost and I have to get used to a new one!
ReplyDeleteI think this may ave gotten lost in the mix, so I'm reposting it.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Deb, for this opportunity to pitch our stories. Here is mine:
A DEMON'S REDEMPTION is an 89,000 word paranormal romance by Margay Leah Justice and is loosely related to the book Nora's Soul, which was published in 2008.
Lorelei is your typical college student - who happens to have a talent for sniffing out demons and sending them back to hell, kind of like a psychic bloodhound. But once a year, she must help one of the fallen earn their way back into heaven. How do they do that? By atoning for their sins. And so far, everything is working out for her - until she meets Azazel, son of Azazeal, a member of the Underworld hierarchy. Does the demon fall far from the seed? She has a month to find out.
Azazel has always lived in the shadows of his father’s misdeeds. But redemption is his one chance to break free of his father’s sins. If only he hadn’t promised to bring down Lorelei for his bid for freedom. Will he keep his promise to his father – or to the woman he comes to love?
Jamiebabette, Thanks for pitching Missing Magic. I would have liked your last paragraph first in the pitch because it would have given me a frame of reference for what you envision the book is. The rest of the pitch I found somewhat evasive and formulaic. Neither the world nor the conflict are clear to me, so I don't know what the hook is.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, the pitch for FAMILY PIECES is a good clear pitch, but the book doesn't sound like something that will work on my list. For commercial women's fiction, I'm looking for a really unusual premise, and/or effervescent fiction with a strong romantic element. There's an enormous amount of "sisterhood/friendship" women's fic and I don't see how your book would stand out in such a crowded marketplace.
ReplyDeleteSamantha Grace, thanks for pitching MAID FOR SEDUCTION. I'd start by urging you to come up with a better title--this is too clever for its own good, as neither readers nor bookstore clerks are going to know how to spell it when they hear it, and that will be a problem for online searches too. As for the book itself, a good Shakespearean mistaken identity theme can be great fun, but I'm not quite buying the motivations for the hero/heroine to pretend to be other people. It seems contrived.
ReplyDeleteDonna, thanks for pitching UNCHAINED MEMORY. The best part of the pitch is "threatens everything we believe about Earth's place in the galaxy" but I'm not clear about what's going on with the characters. Overall there's a lot of language intended to be evocative, but it's not communicating enough for me to see what the hook is.
ReplyDeleteJanis, in your pitch for TANGLED HEARTS the hero presents as a villain and then the ghosts present a deus ex machina device that doesn't work particularly well in paranormal right now (with the possible exception of time travel). Thank you!
ReplyDeletePhyllis, thanks for pitching AFTER THE LOVING. The pitch is competent and so is the story, but I don't see what the hook is--what will make this stand out in a very crowded category?
ReplyDeleteDonna, thank you for coming back to let me know that UNCHAINED MEMORY is the first of a series and that you have books 2 and 3 in the works. That's exactly the kind of info I need.
ReplyDeleteMaeve, thank you for pitching Taroc Na Mor. I would urge you to begin by giving the book an accessible title. The current title communicates nothing, and given you have 10 seconds or less to get a reader to pick up your book, if she doesn't know what the title means, she's on to the next thing immediately. The rest of the pitch could be strengthened--the description of the heroine presents nothing original at all. The hero's part is better, but somehow the world doesn't come alive for me.
ReplyDeleteAlexis, HEPHAESTUS UNEXPECTED--inaccessible title--you must put a title on your book that presents it as a MUST READ right off the bat. Really, really like the rest of the pitch, however, so please send a full submission. "Can a woman and a god with only the love of ice cream in common find happiness together?" is hook that tells me the book is going to be a lot of fun!
ReplyDeleteLynne, Thanks for pitching Season of Storms. The fusion of Georgian England and mythical realms isn't quite coming across in the pitch--I know it's there, but I'm not quite getting how it functions. As we all know, that can sometimes be a limitation of pitches. Because I know that kind of fusion can work (see Kathryne Kennedy) and because of your publishing history, I'd like to take a closer look. Please send a full submission. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteSuzilove, thank you for pitching The Viscount's Pleasure House. The pitch is quite competent, although the story sounds fairly formulaic. At 75,000 words, you are in the range of category romance, not single title, so this might just work there.
ReplyDeleteSilver, the pitch for SEASON OF THE WITCH is perhaps a bit too brusque. Since vampires seem as though they'll never die, you may have something there, but it has to be really original and I'm not getting enough info in the pitch to be able to tell. The world and the voice aren't quite coming through. Go ahead and send me a full submission so I can see if what's missing in the pitch is actually in the book itself. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteSuzilove, Embracing Scandal is a good, solid and clear pitch. Send a full submission, please!
ReplyDeleteJill Lynn, thank you for pitching WINDSONG. I liked this pitch--it was clear, and although some of the devices are formulaic (witness protection program) I was interested in the memoir aspect. At 60,000 words, however, this is a novella and wouldn't fit my list. Try an epub, as they can publish shorter pieces.
ReplyDeleteDear Hetal, thanks for pitching ALLURED BY THE BEAST. I'm not sure "allure" can be used as a verb...that said, I liked the sound of this world and wanted to read more. I like dragons! Please send a full submission
ReplyDeleteDiana, The Thorns of Eden sounds intriguing--the pitch has just the right amount of information and evocativeness. Unfortunately, the Civil War is a tough time period in historical romance (on my list anyway, although it may work in the library market). And then, paranormal historical is also tough, although a few authors who are master world-builders can pull it off. Although you don't specify what the paranormal element is, the hero's nickname "Ghost" points to it, and that presents a further complication, because this is what's NOT working in paranormal. I'm afraid the combination of Civil War and paranormal element makes this too narrow an audience.
ReplyDeleteChristal, AWAKEN THE DRAGON is a bit challenging because I'm not sure you can combine God and Lucifer with dragons...The pitch is good and clear, but I don't think this will work on my list.
ReplyDeleteSherry, thanks for pitching Switched in Death. I'm not sure there's any such thing as "humorous elements". I love a funny book, so if it's a funny romantic suspense, that could be great. But then I found the premise of it sort of offputting, I'm sorry. There's more info about the villain than about the heroine, and in the romance category, the hero/heroine's relationship is the raison d'etre of the book. I don't think this is going to work on my list.
ReplyDeleteTamara, I don't acquire YA so please send me a full submission to queue for our new YA editor who we are in the process of searching for/hiring now. thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Eve, I ran into difficulty immediatly in the pitch for The Eye of Ra, when I learned that the heroine is a criminal. One of my criteria is that the heroine should be a heroine the reader can relate to. In my world, that rules out criminals, as I don't want to be one, or hang out with one, or have one as my best friend. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteHi Eve, I ran into difficulty immediatly in the pitch for The Eye of Ra, when I learned that the heroine is a criminal. One of my criteria is that the heroine should be a heroine the reader can relate to. In my world, that rules out criminals, as I don't want to be one, or hang out with one, or have one as my best friend. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteMarsha, thanks for pitching Kylie's Song. I'm not sure what to do with this one. The title sounds YA, the heroine is very young (home on vacation from college). I don't get her as a horse wrangler, and then you've thrown in the rock and roll star. I'm not seeing it, I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteMargay, A DEMON'S REDEMPTION pitch is well done, but I don't think the book will work on my list. It's got demons, but I don't see the hook other than that, and I'm not sure that's enough to carry it. thank you!
ReplyDeleteDanielle, POSSESSION IS NINE TENTHS--I like the title. It intrigued me. And there's something interesting in the world you've created, although it got maybe too complicated toward the end of the pitch there. Let's see a full submission, and I need to know what's next, next and next for you as an author.
ReplyDeleteSherry, A CAPTIVE HEART sounds fast paced and like a good, solid romantic suspense. At 75,000 words, it might work in category, but wouldn't for my list. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteKitty, thanks for pitching Santana's Heat. At 70,000 words, this might work in category, although you might want to think about the heroine's past as a sex slave--that made her sort of unrelatable for me...thanks!
ReplyDeleteDebby, thanks for pitching IN HIS MISTRESS'S SECRET SERVICE. The title confused me--I thought it was going to be a Regency. Then I realized it's a paranormal, but the hook isn't clear. The pitch is confusing, sorry.
ReplyDeleteJulie, SECRETS OF A SPY'S HEART is a solid pitch. A few too many fathers murdered (seems contrived) but this could possibly work. Julie, I feel like perhaps you've submitted this book to me in the past? If not, I'll look at a full submission. If you did, please re-submit only if you have extensively revised since I've seen it.
ReplyDeleterebell64--I love the concept of The Twisted Tale of Stormy Gale. Your voice comes through, the pitch is fast-paced and funny, it's a world I would love to visit, and I'm interested in steampunk, but at 25,000 words this needs to go into an anthology (which I'm not publishing much of) or to an epub. (Or did you mean 125,000 words? In which case, please send a full submission!) Thank you!
ReplyDeleteElijana, The Dragon's Katana surprised me. I like the idea of a Regency ninja--it seems original (at least, I've never seen one before). The pitch is good. Send me a full submission when it's ready--don't forget to include career arc.
ReplyDeleteAmy, I like the pitch for TO WALK IN THE SUN. The one thing not clear is the trilogy--what do you mean by Non-Paranormal/Paranormal? You have to choose, or your reader won't know what to expect. Please clarify and send a full submission. thanks!
ReplyDeleteDawn Marie, I liked the pitch for JUST BEYOND THE GARDEN GATE and would like to see a full submission, please, including career arc.
ReplyDeleteLadyregena, A LASTING LEGACY sounds really interesting. It reminds me of Jan Karon--please send a full submission. And, what is your career arc, please?
ReplyDeleteBronwyn, Regency teetering on the edge of Noir is a fascinating hook. I like the idea of a dark Regency--that concept reminds me of Laura Kinsale. Let's see a full submission on Scandal's Mistress. Thanks! Don't forget career arc.
ReplyDeleteD'Ann, A REAL BAD BURN is a competent pitch, but a tough book for me. I lost sympathy with the heroine and hero pretty quickly--their situations seemed to make them both victims, and that's kind of a turn-off for me. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteGretchen, FULL STEAM AHEAD sounds like a lot of fun, although I'm a little bit confused--steampunk by definition is Victorian era, but you say it's a present day world. Regardless, please send a full submission and be sure to include a career arc, please. thanks!
ReplyDeleteFlorina, THE KEEPER pitch doesn't include enough information. There's an allusion to an alien world (Elixian) but it doesn't make sense, really, and the rest is sort of evasive and formulaic (ancient enemy). The world isn't coming through, and I don't know what the hook is.
ReplyDeleteFlorina, THE KEEPER pitch doesn't include enough information. There's an allusion to an alien world (Elixian) but it doesn't make sense, really, and the rest is sort of evasive and formulaic (ancient enemy). The world isn't coming through, and I don't know what the hook is.
ReplyDeleteMelissa, as I don't acquire YA, please send me a full submission for SOLSTICE and I will queue it up for the new YA editor we are in the process of searching for/hiring. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteD'Ann, the pitch for MISSISSIPPI BLUES didn't pull me in, I'm sorry. What's the hook? I didn't get that this is a MUST READ.
ReplyDeleteAlana, I don't know what to make of this pitch for Passion of the Soul: Piper's Fury. First you say, "the truth behind the myths of vampires" but then the rest is purely made up--there's no link to the origins of the vampire myth. And then "her inner fury" doesn't make the heroine sound appealing and I'm not seeing what the hook is. Thank you for pitching.
ReplyDeleteMary, the pitch for HAUNTING REFRAIN is fine, but reincarnation and ghosts are very tough in paranormal right now, and I don't think this would work on my list, alas. Many thanks.
ReplyDeleteCarolyn, I like the title of SHUT UP AND KISS ME but the pitch is confusing. I couldn't figure out where this is all taking place, whether it's romance or women's fiction, what happens in the end...the hook isn't clear and neither are the characters interesting enough for me to care about.
ReplyDeleteAh, a debate about the historical accuracy of historical romances! I love it! Here's my 2 cents: there may be a difference between what is historically accurate and what readers expect in a historical romance. The general fiction category is going to be much more rigorous in terms of historical accuracy, as historical fiction is usually most successful if it's centered around specific people or events. In the romance category, it is all about the hero and heroine, and yes, it's escape literature. What a great conversation!
ReplyDeleteP.A., Color of Shadows and Smoke has a good pitch, but 1929 is going to be very tough in the romance category (possibly less so in the library market, or in the epubs, but I'm not sure) and the fact that the heroine is already married throws you out of the romance category altogether, at which point, I don't know where this book goes. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteNan, STEEL HEARTS is a tough one. I don't get the world of steel mills today--what's that industry like? And if they share a grandfather, then they're cousins, so how did he end up in foster care? I'm confused...contemporaries are tough--there has to be a really compelling hook and I'm not seeing that.
ReplyDeleteLia, AN HONORABLE MAN has got me hooked! I'm really, really interested in the characters from this pitch. Cowboy romance works really well--please send a full submission and let me know what your career arc is, too. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteAmanda, the pitch for Should've Known Better is fine, but I'm not quite seeing the hook and it's suffering from some of what's the most difficult part of romantic suspense, which is credibility. There are some parts of this that sound like contrivances to make things happen in your plot. She's a CIA agent, and then a hockey coach, and then there are terrorists? I didn't quite follow you...
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteIt's not romantic suspense. It's a contemporary. The CIA thing is in her past and affects her, but the story takes place during the hockey season. The deaths of her CIA colleagues are the "dark point" - when she tries to run away but finds she needs Sebastian. Does that make better sense? I'm still working on my pitch and I appreciate your comments!
amanda
Ok, that's it! I have responded to every pitch that was posted! Now I'm off to respond to the ones that were sent directly to my email: deb.werksman@sourcebooks.com
ReplyDeleteThank you all so much for participating! It was a blast for me, and I'm so pleased that so many of you responded. I'm not sure I can do this every single month, but I will definitely do it again, and I can't wait to see you all at RWA nationals! Find me and introduce yourself! Our Spotlight is Friday morning (be sure to double check the schedule in case anything changes)--come and see us!
Deb, thanks so much for doing this! And thanks for throwing your 2 cents into the historical debate. It's something I could talk about until the cows dawdle home =)
ReplyDeleteDeb,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for doing this for everyone,
You actually missed one of my pitches, between Christal and Sherry, but I was being greedy and put in the second book in my series, and as they have similar names you probably thought it was the same one repeated.
If it's okay I'll send it to your email, and thanks so much for rquesting the first in the series,
Suzi
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHello
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this blog with us. Here at bluewhale hardware , we specialize in bluewhale hardware products. We are all family and are all working together to bring our customers exactly what they need.Buy best boat hardware from given link boat Hardware
ReplyDeleteNice blog. thanks for sharing wonderful info. Real Estate Agent Carina
ReplyDeleteReal Estate Agent Carina Qld
Thanks for sharing such kind of nice and wonderful information......Nice post keep it up and keep sharing. Do you want boat accessories? Visit here Spring Hook
ReplyDelete